My Wife's Coming-Out Story
我妻子的出柜故事
The rock star and wife Deanna share their unique journey—and a secret she kept hidden
摇滚明星和妻子蒂娜分享了他们独特的旅程和一个她一直隐藏的秘密
Platinum-selling rocker Chris Daughtry vividly recalls the disaster he created the first time his wife, Deanna, brought him lyrics to a song she'd written.
白金摇滚歌手克里斯·多特里(Chris Daughtry)生动地回忆起他妻子蒂娜(Deanna)第一次带来她写的一首歌的歌词时,他所造成的灾难。
"I was dismissive. I shut her down," Chris, 39, says of the long-ago episode. "It was just so ignorant and juvenile of me."
“我不屑一顾。我把她关在门外了。”39岁是克里斯这样谈到多年前的事。“那太无知,太幼稚了。”
So stinging was his rejection that Deanna, 46, needed many years to find the courage to try again—years that Chris also needed to understand the impact of what he'd done.
他的拒绝如此刺痛,46岁的迪安娜需要多年的时间来找到勇气再试一次——克里斯也需要多年的时间来理解他所做的事情的影响。
Presented with a new set of his wife's soul-baring lyrics in 2015, this time Chris actually read them.
2015年,克里斯收到了妻子的一组露骨歌词,这次他真的读了。
"It felt very real and very honest," he says, sitting with Deanna in their Nashville home. "I instantly started hearing the chorus in my head."
“感觉非常真实,非常诚实,”他和迪安娜坐在纳什维尔的家中这样说道。“我立刻开始听到我脑子里的合唱。”
Today the song "As You Are" is the brand-new single off his band Daughtry's latest album.
今天这首《As You Are》是他的乐队多特里最新专辑中的最新单曲。
But the couple, who have been married for nearly 19 years, reveal that it's much more than their first musical collaboration.
但这对结婚近19年的夫妻透露,这不仅仅是他们的第一次音乐合作。
The ballad is Deanna's "coming out," her victory in a lifetime struggle to embrace her bisexuality. The chorus, "I love you as you are," is what Deanna is finally able to tell herself.
这首歌谣是蒂娜的《出柜》(coming out),她终于成功接受了自己的双性恋取向。副歌“我爱你本来的样子,”这是迪安娜终于能够对自己说的话。
"It's very important for people to know what the song is about and where it really came from," Chris says. "Otherwise we're not being authentic."
克里斯说:“让人们知道这首歌是关于什么的以及它真正的出处是非常重要的。”“否则我们就不是真实的。”
"Authenticity" is an important word in the Daughtry household these days, but it wasn't always.
如今,“真实性”在多特里家是一个重要的词,但并不总是这样。
After American Idol rocketed Chris to fame in 2006 and his band's hits like "It's Not Over" and "Home" continually topped the charts, he fell into the pitfalls of stardom while Deanna wrestled with her identity.
2006年,《美国偶像》使克里斯声名鹊起,他的乐队的热门单曲《It's Not Over》和《Home》一直高居排行榜榜首。当他陷入了明星身份的陷阱时,迪娜在与自己的身份作斗争。
There were crises that drew them apart even as they were parenting their growing family, which now includes 8-year-old twins Adalynn and Noah, 4-year-old son Liam and Deanna's two adult children from a previous marriage.
他们在抚养不断壮大的家庭时,也遇到了一些危机,让他们分开了。现在,这个家庭包括8岁的双胞胎艾达琳和诺亚, 4岁的儿子利亚姆和蒂娜的前一段婚姻的两个成年子女。
Deanna now realizes how her denial of her sexual orientation especially isolated her.
蒂娜现在意识到,她对自己的性取向的否认是如何把她孤立起来的。
"I felt like I was hiding and shutting down a part of myself, and it was causing me to shut down so many good, beautiful things about myself too."
“我觉得我在隐藏和关闭自己的一部分,这让我也关闭了自己很多美好美好的东西。”
Her husband is one of the few people who knew her secret.
她丈夫是少数几个知道她秘密的人之一。
Shortly after they met in 2000, she confided to him that, although she had previously been married to a man, she had recently ended a relationship with a woman.
他们在2000年相遇后不久,她就向他透露,尽管她之前嫁给了一个男人,但最近却和一个女人分手了。