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My guest tonight is Celine Dion, everybody. Oh! Oh, my goodness.
我今晚的嘉宾是席琳·迪翁，朋友们，老天啊。
Celine has played giant arenas, small venues, and a residency in Vegas.
席琳曾在大剧场，小场馆，以及拉斯维加斯的连续演唱会表演。
The only place that they won't book her is a cruise ship. Wow. There you go. It's gonna take a little bit.
他们唯一不给她预定的场馆是游轮，哦哦，好吧，需要一点时间。
Of course, Celine sang the theme song for Titanic, which is also now the them for Trump's presidency.
当然，席琳唱了泰坦尼克主题曲，如今也是小特总统的主题曲。
Well, the impeachment hearings are in full swing. And next week,
目前弹劾听证会激战正酣，下周，
we'll hear testimony from Jennifer Williams, an aide to Mike Pence. Right now Jennifer's like,
我们将听到杰尼福·威廉姆斯的证词，他是麦克·彭斯的助理，如今杰尼福称，
If you think the hearings are boring, try being an aid to Mike Pence. It's like,
如果你认为听证会无聊，那就试试当彭斯的助理吧，好似在说...
Jennifer, are these pleated khakis too risque? Should I get more of a wide wale?
杰尼福，你认为这些褶皱的卡其裤有点不雅吗？纵行线圈是否可以大一点？
The House will also question National Security Aide Tim Morrison. Can we see Tim Morrison? Yeah. Wow.
众议院还将询问国家安全助理蒂姆·莫里森，来看看莫里森？耶耶，哦哦。
Because when you want to look trustworthy, it's best to walk around in a trench coat and a briefcase.
因为如果你想看起来更值得信任，最好穿一件大衣，拿一个公文包走路。
Looks like a CVS Halloween costume just labeled Disguise.
很像CVS药品零售店的万圣节服装，标签是恶心。
Do you guys know the phrase Netflix and chill? You ever heard that?
你们听过”一起放松，看电影“，你们听过吗？
Well, apparently for Disney+. people are saying Disney+ and thrust. Ew, ew. Yikes!
当然，这显然是为Disney+视频播放平台设计的，人们说”Disney+和戳“，额，恶心！
Well, NBC's streaming service is called Peacock. So they might want to change that soon.
好吧，NBC的视频平台被叫做孔雀，所以或许要马上改名字。
A big movie this weekend is Ford v Ferrari, starring Matt Damon and Christian Bale.
本周末上演大片《福特对抗法拉利》，明星有马特·达蒙和克里斯蒂安·贝尔。
It's supposed to do much better at the box office than today's other release Hyundai v Kia.
票房应该不错，肯定比今天上映的《现代和起亚》好。
Some TV news. A new poster for the upcoming season of The Bachelor was just released,
看看电视新闻，新一季《单身汉》的海报出来了，
and it features the next Bachelor, pilot Pete. Check it out. There he is right there.
画面上有下一届单身汉，飞行员皮特，来看看，他在上面。
The slogan for this season of The Bachelor is Expect Turbulence.
这一季的《单身汉》口号是单身汉或遭遇湍流。
When they saw that, Spirit Airlines was like, Hey, get your own damn slogan. Come on, that's...
当他们看到时，精神航空公司在说，别用我们的口号，好吧。
Well, it's already the time of the year for holiday commercials, and I just saw that Kay Jewelers just introduced a handsome Santa.
又到了一年一度的节日广告发布时间，我听说凯氏珠宝发布了帅气的圣诞老人。
Take a look. That guy shouldn't play Santa. He should be in a bathtub in a Cialis commercial.
看看，他不应该饰演圣诞老人，他应该在浴池里，为他拉那非广告代言。
It's like if Santa got a makeover on Queer Eye. Oh, this is a crazy story.
好似圣诞老人在《粉雄救兵》上换了一个装束，这个消息疯狂。
I read about three cows in North Carolina who swam five miles to escape a hurricane.
我听说北卡州三头奶牛游了5英里来躲避飓风。
Can we see a photo of them Yeah. There they are. By the way, that's also their album cover.
来看看照片，来了，顺便说一下，这是他们的专辑封面。
There's the hot one. There's the sensitive one. And there's the bad boy. Ooh. This isn't good.
有火辣的，有敏感的，有坏男孩，哦哦，这个不太好。
According to a new study, 50% of...this is weird and gross. This is a real study. Yes.
根据新研究表明，50%，这个有点恶心，但是真实的研究，真的。
According to a new study, 50% of people don't change their underwear every day. Ooh.
根据新研究，50%的人不会每年换内裤，哦哦。
Yeah, half. So if you change yours every day, that's great,
没错，一半，如果你想每天更换，那太好了，
but odds are the person who sat in your seat last night didn't. Yeah.
但有可能昨晚坐在你家椅子上的人没有，没错。
And finally, I read that more people in their 90s are doing cocaine.
最后，听说更多90多岁的人正在使用可卡因。
You could tell Grandpa's on cocaine when he's speeding down the highway at 30 miles an hour. We have a great show.
你可以知道爷爷在使用可卡因，当他在高速上以每小时30英里的速度行驶时，今晚的节目很精彩。
