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Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite dumbest family-fight responses from you guys.
我想和大家分享一些最沉默的家庭争斗。
This first one is from Ms. Emily Allen. She says, For years, my dad has sworn he needs glasses but my mom says he's just not trying hard enough.
第一个来自艾米丽·艾伦女士，她说多年来，我的老爸一直在发誓他需要眼镜，但我的妈妈说他只是还不够努力。
Come on. Try harder. Focus, Gerald, focus. Focus!
来吧，努力呀，专注力，杰拉德，专注力！
This one is from @Superhero4Life. Ooh. She says, My sister and were having a fight.
这个来自@Superhero4Life，哦，她说我的姐姐和我吵了一架。
She ran out of insults and called me a thigh. You thigh! Well, you're...you're a shin!
她没有什么可骂的了，迫不得已骂我是大腿，你这个大腿，好啊，你是胫部。
This is from at @jmahoney413. She says, my sister once screamed at me for the entire car ride, because I was looking out her window.
这个来自@jmahoney413，她说我的姐姐曾冲我嚷嚷，持续了整个搭车时间，因为我冲着她的窗户看。
This is mine! This is my window, Julia! You thigh. This one is from @kansasbradbury. Ooh. Wow.
这是我的！这是我的窗户茱莉亚，你这个大腿，下一个是@堪萨斯布莱伯利，哦哦。
It's a great name. Kansas Bradbury. Kansas Bradbury. At your service. Good day. Good day to you, sir.
这个名字不错，堪萨斯·布莱伯利，听您吩咐，美好的一天，祝愿你今天顺利先生。
I happen to be Kansas Bradbury. I'm here. I'm the new Manny. Now, let me see if this is clean.
我碰巧成为了堪萨斯·布莱伯利，我在这里，我是新的曼妮，让我看看是否干净。
It is not clean! Good day to you, sir. Kansas Bradbury. We'll be right back with more Kansas Bradbury...
不干净，祝你今天顺利先生，堪萨斯·布莱伯利，我们一会会介绍更多关于堪萨斯·布莱伯利的事情...
based on the stand-up comedy of Kansas Bradbury. He says, Every Daylight Savings,
根据堪萨斯·布莱伯利的单口喜剧，他说每到夏令时，
my family argues about what time we should feed the cat so she won't be confused. Oh. Come on.
我的家庭就会谈论什么时候喂猫的问题，这样它就不会感到困惑，天啊。
Don't...That cat's not wearing a watch? I don't know. Give the cat a watch. This one's from @esmereld. Hmm.
不要...、这只猫没有戴手表吗？我不知道，给这只猫一个手表，这个来自@esmereld。恩恩。
She says, my two brother often argue about who is the ugly brother. They're identical twins.
她说我的两个各个经常谈论谁是那个最难看的，他们是双胞胎。
This one is from Rousch Chaser. She says, We were naming three things we would bring to a deserted island.
这个来自劳士·齐色尔，她说提出了三个我们要带到荒岛上的东西。
Instead of saying his kids or his wife, my dad said Dua Lipa. Oh. No. Yeah.
我爸爸没有说孩子或是妻子，而是说杜阿·利帕，不不不。
That's an inside thought. I've been really trying. Down boy.
这是内心的想法，我一直在尝试，小痞子。
This one is from @itsleahbale. Oh. She says, My family and I once had a monthlong argument about
这个来自@itsleahbale，她说我和家人曾经有一次长达一个月的争吵，
whether you put on your socks then underwear, or underwear then socks.
内容是关于你先穿袜子再穿内裤，还是先内裤再袜子。
What? Is that a.... That's not a debate. It's underwear, then socks, yeah. It's always underwear and socks.
啥？这是...这不是辩论，这是内裤，之后是袜子，没错，总是内裤和袜子。
Yeah. Right? Who says socks then underwear? No. I saw someone just raise their hand.
对吧？谁说先袜子之后是内裤？不会吧，我看到有人举手了。
Someone did, and then they put their hand down. It wasn't their hand. Oh, whoa.
有些人是这样，之后他们放下了手，那不是他们的手，哦哦。
And they weren't wearing underwear. And those aren't socks.
他们没有穿内裤，那些也不是袜子。
This one is from @metalforbreakfast. Hey, I like that. Oh, rock 'n' roll. He says, One time, my brother kept asking my mom
这个来自@metalforbreakfast，嘿，我喜欢这个，摇滚哦，他说有一次，我的兄弟一直在询问我的母亲，
what the date was over and over and over again. She got mad and grounded him.
他一直在不停地问今天是几号，她发疯了，并不允许他出门。
Turns out, he had a concussion. What? Sounds like a job for Kansas Bradbury. Oh, my gosh.
结果他得了脑震荡，啥？听起来像是堪萨斯·布莱伯利的工作，老天啊。
This one is from @pinkeyegus. Don't....Don't hang out with Pink Eye Gus. Oh, man.
这个来自@pinkeyegus，不要和红眼暖男约会，老天啊。
If it hadn't been for Pink Eye Gus. I'd be married, and not much fuss.
如果不是为了红眼暖男，我就结婚了，而且没那么多麻烦。
Where did you come, from where did you bus? Where did you come from Pink Eye Gus?
你来自哪里，你从哪里坐的公交车？你来自哪里红眼暖男？
He says, my annoying aunt made the whole family do beach meditation with her.
他说我烦人的姨母让整个家庭和她一起做海滩冥想。
When she asked each of us to describe our happy place, my dad just said, This trip but without you here.
当她要求我们每个人描述一个快乐的地方时，我的爸爸说，没有你的地方。
There you have it. Those are our Tonight Show hashtags. To check more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtag.
就这么多，这就是今夜秀标签节目，了解更多精彩节目，请登录tonightshow.com/hashtag。
