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Lasagna.
千层面。
Also known as stacked pizza.
也被称为堆起来的披萨。
Also known as flat layered spaghetti and smashed meatballs.
也被称为平放的意面和碎肉丸。
Also known as pizza casserole.
也叫砂锅披萨。
Also known as savory Rice Krispies squares.
又名香喷喷的脆米方。
Also known as pasta brownies.
也叫意面布朗尼。
Also known as...
也被称为……
We're gonna start by browning a pound of ground beef on medium-high.
我们要先用中高火将一磅碎牛肉炒至褐色。
And we do this because brown is the color that has the most flavor.
我们这么做是因为棕色是最有风味的颜色。
I'm adding in a teaspoon of salt here.
这时加一茶匙盐。
I'm gonna turn the heat down a bit.
把火调小一点。
And then season the beef, either in the traditional boring way with an onion,
然后给牛肉调味，可以用无聊的传统方式，加洋葱，
or the cutting-edge modern way with a tablespoon of chili powder, a tablespoon of cumin, and two tablespoons of red wine vinegar.
也可以用现先进的现代方式，加一汤匙辣椒粉，一汤匙孜然和两汤匙红酒醋。
Now if you do season it this way, I recommend some hefty socks straps when you taste this later.
如果你用这种方式调味，我建议你稍后品尝这道菜时，穿上结实的袜带。
If the beef gets too dry, add in some water so all those spices get soaked up like a meat sponge.
如果牛肉太干了，加一些水，这样所有的香料都会像海绵一样被吸收进去。
And resist the temptation to make tacos.
并且抵制做塔可饼的诱惑。
I'm gonna throw in three cups of basil tomato sauce, and we'll let that simmer until it's a thickness level of three.
加三杯罗勒番茄酱，然后小火慢炖至浓度达到三级。
And feel free to participate in the Italian tradition called "lick the measuring cup".
还可以自由参与意大利传统的“舔量杯”活动。
"Mmm, that's a damn good measuring cup.
“嗯，这是个非常好的量杯。
"Now I'm gonna take a container of ricotta cheese, and grate in a clove of garlic to give it some flavor.
“现在我要拿一盒乳清干酪，磨一些蒜末来增加风味。”
Because ricotta cheese is just milk that somebody did some things to make it the way it is.
因为乳清干酪只是一种牛奶，只不过有人把它做成了现在这个样子。
Because you're mixing white on white, remember these simple steps to make sure it gets combined thoroughly.
因为你要把白色和白色混合在一起，所以记住这些简单的步骤，确保它们完全搅匀。
Whisk the mixture vigorously.
用力搅拌混合物。
Always mix in the edges.
一定要把边上的东西搅拌进来。
Never Give Up.
绝对不能放弃。
Get serious.
认真对待。
Jostle the mixture to and fro.
让混合物撞来撞去。
Always mix the middle.
一定要搅中间的部分。
Never get lazy.
永远不要偷懒。
Give it all you got.
全力以赴。
Leave no molecule uncombined.
不要留下任何一个没混合进来的分子。
And enthusiastically end with exuberance.
以旺盛的热情结束搅拌。
Gonna add in around a cup and a half of shredded mozzarella.
加大约一杯半的马苏里拉芝士碎。
Don't forget to repeat those steps.
别忘了重复上述步骤。
We're gonna take an eight inch-ish pan, I think.
我们要拿一个8英寸大小的烤盘。
And spread a thin layer of the sauce on the bottom to keep the noodles from sticking.
在底部涂上一层薄薄的酱汁，防止面条粘在一起。
We're using no-boil noodles, which are noodles that have no boils on them.
我们用的是免煮面条，就是没有煮过的面条。
Then you're gonna realize that the noodles don't fit, so instead of panicking you'll try to break one with your handsand that will suck.
然后你就会意识到面条不合适，然后你没有惊慌失措，而是试着用手把它弄断，这样可太糟糕了。
So you use the edge of the pan instead which works well.
所以你用烤盘的边缘来折断它，效果很好。
Or an exacto knife.
或者用小刀。
Or a saw.
或者用锯子。
Or a wood burning kit.
或者用点燃木头的工具。
Or a power stone.
或者用能量石。
Whatever works, man, just get it done.
用任何能用的东西就行，朋友，只要把它弄断就行了。
Then we'll shovel some sauce on there.
然后我们铲一些酱放在上面。
Then we'll spread on a layer of thick garlic milk.
然后涂上一层厚厚的蒜味干酪。
I like to use two spoons.
我喜欢用两把勺子弄。
Flatten and place.
抹匀，放上。
Flatten and place.
抹匀，放上。
I don't know if this technique is good or not, but it does make me feel professional-ish and smug, which is what cooking is all about.
我不知道这个方法好不好，但它的确让我感觉很专业、很膨胀，这就是烹饪的全部意义所在。
Make sure you're putting the noodles in flat and not this way.
一定要把面条放平，而不是这样。
Not this way.
不是这样。
Not this way.
不是这样。
Not this way.
不是这样。
Not this way.
不是这样。
And definitely not this way.
并且绝对不是这样。
This isn't the time to be a maverick.
现在可不是特立独行的时候。
We've known for several years now that laying the noodles flat just works.
我们多年的经验告诉我们，平放面条就行了。
More sauce. More ricotta. Noodles. Sauce. Ricotta.
再来点酱汁。来点乳清干酪。面条。酱汁。乳清干酪。
I might have used too much ricotta on that first layer.
我在第一层可能放太多乳清干酪了。
Or maybe you don't need ricotta on the top layer since we're finishing it with mozzarella.
或者也许你不需要在最上面一层放干酪，反正我们最后要放马苏里拉芝士。
Just create as many layers as you feel like.
想做多少层就做多少层。
Don't listen to someone who says:"if it's not at least three layers, it's not a real lasagna",
不要听别人说：“真正的千层面至少得有三层”，
or,"if the lasagna isn't a minimum of three layers, I will destroy you and everything you love and stand for so help me God, amen."
或者，“如果千层面没达到三层，我会毁了你和你所爱和支持的一切，所以上帝保佑我，阿门。”
Then we'll create a sacred geometry toothpick beam support structure to hold up the tin roof,
“然后我们做出一个神圣几何学牙签柱来支撑千层面，
which we put in place to keep the moisture inso the noodles cook properly, and also to protect the lasagna from rain.
工整铺上锡纸为面条保湿，同时也为了保护面条免受雨水的侵袭。”
Ondo's on three fundo, and we'll cook that for around 40 minutes or so.
烤箱开到350，烤40分钟左右。
Peace be with you.
祝你平安。
While we're waiting, let's try to build a house of cards out of the noodles,
在我们等待的时候，让我们来用面条建造一座纸牌屋，
which is tricky because they're pretty slippery, but also they have ridges you can take advantage of.
这挺难的，因为它们超级滑，不过它们有波浪边，可以好好利用一下。
And then we'll try playing the world's shittiest game of Jenga.
然后我们可以试着玩世界上最烂的Jenga游戏。
Oh! So close!
噢!就差一点！
Then we'll remove that foil, up the temperature a bit, and throw it in for another 10 minutes.
然后我们取下锡纸，把温度调高一点，然后再把它扔进去烤10分钟。
And also with you.
再次，与你同在。
Ah man, this lasagna is busting at the scene with lasagna-ish goodness.
啊，天哪，这个千层面正爆发出千层面般美味的香气。
Then you want to let it rest for 20 minutes before cutting it, so it doesn't turn into a bowl of slop.
然后在切开千层面之前先让它静置20分钟，这样它就不会像一碗乱炖似的。
Which is a great time to prepare our letters and numbers.
这是我们准备字母和数字的大好时机。
Then we'll cut it into a grid and lay out our organizational system,
然后我们把它切成方块，展示出我们的组织体系，
so that anyone can easily select the piece they want without confusion.
这样任何人都可以很容易地选出他们想要的那块，完全不会混在一起。
Also you can play a game of lasagna battleship.
你还可以玩千层面战舰游戏。
I'll have B-1.
我选B-1。
You sunk my apparently buoyant lasagna.
你击沉了我这看起来很好吃的千层面。
Also use this hack for anyone who thinks there aren't enough layers and just stack two pieces.
对于那些觉得千层面层数不够的人，可以用这个技巧，就是把两块千层面叠在一起。
Boom, thick lasagna.
砰，加厚版千层面。
And now I'll stack one more pieceso I can create the perfect clickbait thumbnail.
现在我要再多叠一块，这样我就可以创造出一个完美的封面图让你们点进来了。
And I hope you can forgive me for this deception,
我希望你能原谅我的欺骗，
but know I did it to teach you not to believe everything you see on the internet,
而是要知道，我这么做是为了教你不要相信你在互联网上看到的一切，
or to punish you for thinking that a bigger lasagna is a better lasagna.
或者也是为了惩罚你，因为你认为千层面越大越好。
Maybe it's time to give short lasagna a chance.
或许是时候给矮千层面一个机会了。
Maybe it's time to realize you shouldn't judge a lasagna by its height.
或许是时候认识到，你不应该以千层面的高度来评判它了。
Only by its girth.
而是通过它的周长。
Amen.
阿门。
Hey speaking of lasagna, why don't we give this a try?
嘿，说到千层面，我们为什么不尝一尝呢？
Damn that's a good lasagna.
妈耶，这千层面真是好吃。
And damn I got good taste in socks.
该死的，我挑袜子的品味真不错。
