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Beets are the rocks of the vegetable world.
甜菜就是蔬菜世界的石头。
And just like rocks, they grow underground.
就像石头一样，它们生长在地下。
And also just like rocks, if you apply enough heat, they become soft and edible.
而且，就像石头一样，如果你加热到一定程度，它们就会变软，变得可以食用。
Now, you wanna wash the beets with around 25% tenderness, 35% love, and 40% care, and 0% "I don't give a care".
现在，你要用25%的温柔，35%的爱，40%的关爱，0%的“我不在乎”来洗甜菜。
Cooking beets takes forever.
烹饪甜菜要花很长时间。
If you don't have forever, probably don't make beets.
如果你没有很长的时间，那就不要做甜菜了。
I'm gonna cook them a couple different ways.
我会用几种不同的方法烹饪它们。
Oh, that's already too small.
噢，那也太小了。
Salt.
盐。
I read that adding some vinegar and lemon keeps them from bleeding.
我读到说，加一些醋和柠檬可以防止它流血。
I don't know what that means, and I don't know if it's true.
我不知道那是什么意思，我也不知道这是不是真的。
I probably should have cut those much smaller.
我应该把它们切小一些的。
You wanna put them on some foil, and you wanna completely seal them, so that way they don't lose moisture.
你得把它们放在锡箔纸上，将它们完全密封起来，这样它们就不会失去水分。
Onion's on 400.
烤箱开到400华氏度。
That's gonna take around an hour.
大约需要烤一个小时。
Gauging the ripeness of a beet is really, really tricky.
测量甜菜的成熟程度真的非常非常难。
But if you've got a hard, smooth wood surface, you can take the beet and give it a good roll.
但是如果你有一个坚硬光滑的木质表面，你可以让甜菜滚起来。
And if you get a strike, ohhh, this one's still standing here, but probably ripe enough.
如果你能全部击倒，噢，还有一个站在这里，但应该已经够熟了。
Now if you're power stroking, you have a decent approach, a good axis tilt and get, say, a fast eight or a babysplit, you're probably good to go.
现在，如果你在做功，知道合适的方法，有一个好的倾斜角度，然后得到，比如说，撞到8瓶以上或顽童式残局，那你就可以开始做了。
But if you threw a boomer with a late break point, hit the Jersey side and end up with a Greek church, depending on the radius of gyration, you're probably gonna wanna give those beets a couple more days.
但是，如果你扔了一个xxx，撞上了xxx，最后得到了xxx，这取决于xxx，（全部为保龄球术语）你可能需要再给这些甜菜几天时间。
Don't hide.
别躲啊。
If you don't wanna spend the money on a food processor, what you can do is go buy one, make your beet dip, return the food processor,
如果你不想把钱花在食品加工机上，你能做的就是去买一个，把甜菜浸做好，然后把食品加工机拿去退掉，
and just say,"I'm sorry, I just can't use a food processor. That's all covered in beets like this one, and what kind of operation are you running here anyway?"
然后说，“对不起，这个食品加工机没法用。上面到处都是像这样的甜菜，你在这都用它干什么了？”
If you don't even wanna go buy a food processor, and you happen to get one of the early Armatron 5000 prototypes.
如果你甚至不想去买一个食品加工机，而你碰巧有一台早期的Armatron 5000原型机。
What you can do is repurpose that, with just a couple hacks, and...
你能做的就是改变它的用途，只需几次破解，然后……
The mechanics of a food processor are exactly the same, only this one works quite a bit more quickly, and processes more evenly.
它和食品加工机的原理是完全一样的，只是这一种要快得多，加工过程也更平稳。
I call it "The Food Processotron 2.7."
我叫它“食品加速器2.7版”
But it doesn't come with the gloves, or the belt, or the knives, or the tape, or the coat-hanger.
但手套、腰带、刀子、胶带和衣架不是配套来的。
If the fork goes in relatively easily, they're good.
如果叉子能够相对容易插进去，那它们就可以了。
I made the mistake of not cutting off the stems first or the roots or whatever you call it.
我犯了一个错误，没有先切掉茎或根，或者随便你怎么叫它。
The whole thing's a root, right?
反正这东西本来整个都是根，不是吗？
I don't even know what it's called.
我都不知道它叫什么。
But. No regrets.
但是。别后悔了。
You can kinda just scrape, and pinch, and peel them off.
你只需要刮一下，捏一下，然后把它们剥下来就行了。
I'm sure there's a technique for this.
我相信是有办法的。
But the main difference I'm seeing here between the boiled and baked beets is that you should really buy the pre-cooked ones,
但我在这里看到的煮甜菜和烤甜菜之间的主要区别是，你真的应该买预煮好的甜菜，
'cause this is a huge waste of time and just a big goddamn mess.
因为做这东西实在太浪费时间了，而且还搞出一堆烂摊子。
I don't recommend it.
我不推荐自己做。
OK, quick taste test here.
好了，快速尝一下味道。
We got a boiled beet and a baked beet.
我们有煮甜菜和烤甜菜。
Boiled. Whoa!
煮的。哇哦！
Tastes like garbage.
尝起来像垃圾。
You can see the color, it's just leeched right out of it.
你可以看到它的颜色，直接从里面渗出来了。
Bake your beets, if you wanna maintain the flavor.
还是烤甜菜吧，如果你想留住味道。
I kinda poured all the flavor down the drain.
我好像把所有的味道都倒进了下水道。
Food processors work best if you cut your vegetables into the right size and shape,
当你把蔬菜切成合适的大小和形状的时候，食品加工机运行的效果最好。
and for beets, that means cutting them into a one inch cube, a hexagonal prism, a moon-shaped pool, a pentabeet, or a "beet" box.
对于甜菜来说，这意味着把它们切成一英寸的立方体、六角棱柱、月亮形的泳池、一个五角甜菜或一个“甜菜”盒子。
Some of these aren't the right size, so let's hope it doesn't jam.
有些尺寸不太对，希望它不会卡住。
Yogurt or sour cream, lemon, clove of garlic, salt, horseradish.
酸奶或酸奶油，柠檬，蒜瓣，盐，辣根。
That takes a long time compared to the Food Processotron 2.7, but, y'know, sometimes it's good to be patient.
与食品加速器2.7相比，用这个需要很长的时间，但是，你知道，有时候有点耐心是好事。
Damn, that is good.
天呐，真不错。
You know what?
你知道吗？
I made this before without the horseradish.
我之前做这个的时候没有加辣根。
I feel like that's what it was missing.
我感觉就是缺了它。
It's more horseradical!
它更有辣根味了！
Another way to go is: Beets, bunch of lemon, more lemon, tahini, salt, pepper pepper pepper, garlic, and chickpeas.
另一种方式是：甜菜，一些柠檬，更多柠檬，芝麻酱，盐，很多胡椒，大蒜，鹰嘴豆。
This is more of a hummus with beets than it is a beet dip, but who's keeping track?
这更像是加了甜菜的鹰嘴豆泥，而不是甜菜蘸酱，但谁又能注意到呢？
Hello?
谁？
What do you think you're doing?
你到底在干什么？
Oh, shit!
噢，糟糕！
