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I have a death wish.
我有一个遗愿。
Now before you just boo me off the stage for saying such a thing in a pandemic, I'll explain with a little back story, starting with my second grade gym class.
先别因为我在疫情之下说这种事就把我轰下台，我先来介绍一下背景，这还要从我二年级的体育课说起。
This was the longest, most humiliating hour of the week.
那是我那个星期感到最漫长、最丢人的一段时间。
My PE teacher, Mr. Jensen, was a former drill sergeant, and I always felt like the weakest kid.
我的体育老师詹森先生，以前是个教官，而我总感觉自己是所有学生当中最弱的。
On my report card, he checked the boxes corresponding to what must have been important for kids' physical development in the '70s.
他在我的成绩单里所有在70年代对儿童身体发育重要的项目旁的方框里打了勾。
Oh, except the one on leadership qualities, he left that one unchecked.
哦，除了“领导才能”那项，他没有打勾。
Then he added a note.
他还加注了一句。
He said, "Andrea has difficulty kicking balls."
他写道：“安德莉亚不擅长踢球。”
My dad, who was always the one to see people's gifts instead of their limits, wrote a letter back to Mr. Jensen.
我父亲总能发现人们的天赋，而不是盯着他们的缺点，他给詹森先生回了信。
He said, "Andrea may have difficulty kicking balls, but you should see her stand on her head and do cartwheels."
他写道：“安德莉亚或许不擅长踢球，但你该见识一下她倒立侧手翻的本领。”
As a kid, I was usually the smallest on the playground, never athletic, picked last for, you guessed it, kickball.
我小时候总是场上最矮小的一个，从来不善于运动，你们应该也猜到了，老师总是最后一个点我去踢球。
I took solace in my dad's sincere support.
父亲发自内心的支持给了我安慰。
But now, as a business owner, I can see that ball kicking can really come in handy
而现在，我成了生意人，对我来说，踢球真能派上用场。
Anyway, in that one simple sentence to a short-sighted gym teacher "but you should see her," my dad showed me that focusing on strengths more than weaknesses feels really good.
不管怎样，我爸对这目光短浅的体育老师说的短短一句话“你该见识一下”，让我明白了，多关注自己的强项，少关注弱项，这种感觉真好。
That there are other ways to look at the world and that it's important to recognize each other's gifts.
还有就是，认识世界还有很多别的方法，还有，发现彼此的天赋也是很重要的。
So with all that great karma my dad had built up around appreciation with me, it only seems right that some praise would ultimately come his way.
父亲对我的欣赏也为他带来了好运，众人都对他连连称赞。
Long into his fruitful and active retirement, he was featured in a hometown newspaper story.
他功成身退后，家乡的报纸登文介绍了他的事迹。
The article described the many ways he contributed to our small Midwestern town.
文中介绍了他对我们这个中西部小镇做出的诸多贡献。
And he sent a copy of that piece to my siblings and me with a short handwritten note.
他还给我和兄弟姐妹们寄了文章的复印件，上面还有一处手写的简短的注解。
He was always really modest, so he just said, "Well, it's better than having a eulogy read over a casket."
他总是那么谦逊，他只是说，“嗯，这个总比在棺材外念悼词要好吧。”
My dad died seven years ago at the age of 96, and he was surrounded by family and friends and two hospice workers.
父亲七年前去世了，享年96岁，他去世时，家人、朋友，还有两位临终关怀护工围绕在他身边。
He left this world not 20 feet from where he’d come into it.
他去世的地方离他出生的地方不过20尺。
He was born and he died in the same house.
他的生与死都在同一所房子里。
I like to think he died as well as he'd lived. On his own terms.
我总觉得，他虽然去世了，但却好像还活着一样。以他自己的方式活着。
I had the honor of giving the eulogy, and ultimately he'd chosen cremation over that "casket."
我有幸为他致了悼词，最终他没有选择“棺葬”，而是选择了火葬。
As I looked over at my dad's ashes, I had to smile because, you know, our dad really loved beer. So instead of putting his ashes in a blase urn, we put them in a big, shiny beer growler.
当我看向父亲的骨灰，我笑了，因为父亲特别喜爱啤酒，所以我们没有用一般的骨灰缸来装他的骨灰，用的是一个又大又闪亮的啤酒瓶。
So my remarks over the growler were a sincere tribute to a superb human being.
我对这啤酒瓶的评论是对一个优秀的人真挚的歌颂。
Not unusual as far as eulogies go, except for one thing. He'd already heard it.
就悼词而言，它其实很平常，但有一点不一样的是，他已经听过这一段了。
Those many years earlier, after I'd received his note about how having nice things said about you while you're alive beats the alternative, I wrote my dad a letter.
早年间我收到过他的信件，信中说活着的时候被人夸胜过死后被人歌颂，我也给父亲写了封信。
And the theme of the letter reflected a common thread that I had noticed in his long life.
信的主题，是他漫长人生中贯穿始终的东西。
The theme of building.
这个主题就是建立。
