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Why Is Dining Alone So Difficult?
为什么独自去餐厅吃饭这么难？
There are few customers Conor Proft appreciates more than people who eat alone.
康纳·普罗夫特最欣赏的客人是独自就餐的人。
A bartender at the Italian restaurant Fausto, in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, he said the solo diners he serves tend to be more engaged and willing to chat.
他是位于纽约布鲁克林区展望高地的"福斯托"意大利餐厅的酒吧侍者，他说独自来用餐的客人往往更投入，也更愿意聊天。
They are self-aware and more attuned to the restaurant’s rhythms.
他们了解自己的需求，更能适应餐厅的节奏。
But does Mr. Proft dine alone? Rarely.
但普罗夫特会独自用餐吗？很少。
“I love the romantic ideal of going into a restaurant and sitting at the bar and striking up a conversation with a bartender,” he said.
"我喜欢那种很浪漫的想象，就是走进一家餐厅，坐在吧台边，和侍者随意聊聊天，"他说道。
“But oftentimes in practice, I am just consumed with anxiety” about standing out.
“但如果我真的一个人去餐厅，我常常被焦虑吞噬”，害怕自己很显眼。
This is part of the paradox of solo dining.
这就是独自用餐的悖论之一。
Even as Americans are spending more time on their own, many find eating out alone to be rife with awkwardness and judgment.
尽管美国人独处的时间越来越长，但许多人发现，独自外出用餐会让人感到非常尴尬，还会被人评头论足。
And many restaurateurs, who already run their businesses on thin profit margins, worry that tables for one will cost them.
而许多餐厅老板的经营利润本就微薄，更是担心一个人坐一张桌位会让他们亏本。
Reservations for solo dining in the United States have risen by 64 percent since 2019, according to data from OpenTable, and 21 percent from 2022 to 2023, according to Resy.
根据“开放餐桌”的数据，美国独自用餐的预订人次自2019年以来上升了64%，“简单订位”的数据显示，从2022年到2023年，这一数字增长了21%。
The trend may stem in part from a post-pandemic uptick in business trips, when solo travelers need to grab a bite, or the rising attention given to self-care, said Debby Soo, OpenTable’s chief executive.
“开放餐桌”的CEO戴比·苏表示，这种趋势可能部分源于疫情后商务旅行的增加，独自出差的人需要去餐厅解决伙食，也可能是因为人们越来越关注自我关怀。
But more solo dining doesn’t necessarily mean better accommodation or less of a stigma, according to diners and restaurateurs interviewed by The New York Times.
但是《纽约时报》采访的食客和餐厅经营者表示，独自用餐的人越来越多，未必意味着给单人食客的服务更好或羞耻感更少。
Several diners described the experience of entering a restaurant hoping to treat themselves to a relaxing meal, then feeling guilty for taking up space, or fearful that they’re being judged by everyone around them.
几位食客描述了这样的体验：他们走进餐厅，原本想让自己好好享受一顿放松的美食，结果却因占用桌位而感到愧疚，甚至害怕周围其他人投来异样的眼光。
“When you walk in by yourself, the look on the host or hostess’s face changes,” said Rajika Shah, a lawyer in Los Angeles who used to dine alone frequently, as she moved often for work and wanted to explore local dining.
“当你独自走进餐厅时，接待员的表情会立刻变化，”洛杉矶律师拉吉卡·沙阿说，她过去经常独自用餐，出于工作原因她经常搬家，想趁机探索周边美食，
“It is sometimes a look of panic, like ‘What are we going to do with this person?’ Or sometimes it is a look of sympathy.”
“有时是一种惊慌的表情，好像在说‘我们该怎么应付这个人？’，有时是一种同情的眼神。”
Ms. Shah, 51, said she is often led to the worst table in the dining room, neglected by her server, and then rushed out at the end of the meal.
51岁的莎阿表示，她经常被带到餐厅里最差的座位，服务员对她爱答不理，用餐结束时又催她离开。
She blamed the tipping system — because workers are reliant on tips, she said, they may be less attentive to those who spend less than groups.
她认为这都怪小费制度，她说，因为员工依赖小费，所以他们对消费较少的顾客，可能不像对团体顾客那么上心。
“I am just so tired of being treated like a second-class citizen,” she said.
“我真是受够了被当成二等公民。”她说。
Even the menu can feel exclusionary: The shareable small plates that dominate many menus make it expensive and “difficult to eat a balanced and well-proportioned meal alone,” said Amanda Lao, 55, who lives in Chicago and started solo dining while traveling for her former job as an auditor.
就连菜单也会让单人食客感到被排挤。许多菜单主要是适合多人分享的小份菜，55岁的阿曼达·劳说，“独自用餐时，想吃得营养均衡、分量合适，不仅很难，还很贵”，她住在芝加哥，以前做审计工作时，因为出差而开始独自去餐厅吃饭。
