It's strange how chary we are about praising.
奇怪的是我们对赞扬何其慎重。
Perhaps it's because few of us know how to accept compliments gracefully.
这也许是因为我们很少有人知道怎样大大方方地接受赞扬。
Instead, we are embarrassed and shrug off the words we are really so glad to hear.
相反,我们往往会不知所措,对于我们实际上非常乐意听到的话却耸耸肩膀不屑理睬。
Because of this defensive reaction, direct compliments are surprisingly difficult to give.
由于这种防御性的反应,给人以直接的赞扬就变得极为困难了。
That is why some of the most valued pats on the back are those which come to us indirectly, in a letter or passed on by a friend.
一些最宝贵的赞许鼓励之词往往是在信中或通过朋友间接地传达给我们,原因就在于此。
When one thinks of the speed with which spiteful remarks are conveyed, it seems a pity that there isn't more effort to relay pleasing and flattering comments.
当我们想到那些充满恶意的言词传播的速度之快,我们就会感到,人们没有做出更大的努力来传递令人愉快、使人高兴的评语似乎是太遗憾了。
It's especially rewarding to give praise in areas in which effort generally goes unnoticed or unmentioned.
对于通常不为人们注意或提及的努力加以赞扬是特别有益的。
An artist gets complimented for a glorious picture, a cook for a perfect meal.
艺术家因画出一幅绚丽多彩的画而受到赞美,厨师因烧出一顿美餐而受到称赞。
But do you ever tell your laundry manager how pleased you are when the shirts are done just right?
但是当你的衬衫被洗得干干净净,烫得平平整整时,你可曾告诉过洗衣店的经理你是多么高兴吗?
Do you ever praise your paper boy for getting the paper to you on time 365 days a year?
你可曾因为你的报童每年365天都按时送报上门而夸奖过他?
Praise is particularly appreciated by those doing routine jobs: gas-station attendants, waitresses — even housewives.
那些从事例行工作的人们特别懂得赞扬的意义,如汽车加油站的服务员、女侍者——甚至家庭主妇。
Do you ever go into a house and say, "What a tidy room"? Hardly anybody does.
当你走进一家住房时,你可曾说过:“多么整洁的房间啊”?几乎没有人这么说过。
That's why housework is considered such a dreary grind.
家务劳动之所以被认为是沉闷乏味的苦差使,原因就在于此。
Comment is often made about activities which are relatively easy and satisfying, like arranging flowers; but not about jobs which are hard and dirty, like scrubbing floors.
人们经常对一些比较容易而又令人满意的活动,如插花,加以评论;但对像擦地板这类又苦又脏的工作却不予置评。
Shakespeare said, "Our praises are our wages." Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives, surely she of all people should get her measure.
莎士比亚说过:“对我们的称赞就是给予我们的报酬。”既然在很多情况下,称赞是家庭主妇得到的唯一报酬,因此,在所有的人中,她理应得到自己的一份赞扬。
Mothers know instinctively that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding.
母亲们本能地知道,对孩子们说来,一句赞扬抵得上十句责骂。
Still, we're not always as perceptive as we might be about applying the rule.
然而对于运用这一规律我们的感觉并非一直都很敏锐。
One day I was criticizing my children for squabbling. "Can you never play peacefully?" I shouted.
有一天,我因为孩子们在争吵而批评他们:“你们就永远不能安安静静地玩耍吗?”我大声说道。
Susanna looked at me quizzically. "Of course we can," she said. "But you don't notice us when we do."
苏珊娜疑惑地看着我。“我们当然能,”她说。“可安安静静玩耍时,你却不注意我们。”
Teachers agree about the value of praise.
对赞扬的重要性教师们的意见是一致的。