稳中求变
求变是英语的特色。用词的变化,句式的变化,构成了具备英语特色的文字。汉语相对而言求稳,重复的词语,相似的句式,常常能够构成典型的汉语文字。
这篇汉译英短文,“逆耳之言”在许多地方提及,如果都译成unpleasant to the ear,英语译文重复过多,不符合英语表达习惯。我们如果能够在不同的上下文中采用不同的词语和短语,文字的灵动就能够给人留下深刻的印象。如:
人们通常喜欢听好听的话,一听到拂耳之言就容易产生不悦甚至愠怒。
We tend to hear words pleasant to the ear but have displeasure and resentment at words harsh to the ear.
一个人特别是身居要职的人要能够心悦诚服地倾听逆耳之良言并从中获得智慧,就需要一种容忍和大度的雅量。
A man, especially one occupying an important position, needs tolerance and magnanimity to lend an ear to truthful yet offensive words with heartfelt admiration so as to gain wisdom from them.
忠言逆耳利于行
Honest advice, though unpleasant to the ear, benefits conduct.
但在行为上,人们又时常背离这些古训,不愿意听或听不进“逆耳”之言。
In our behaviours, we tend to depart from those established maxims, reluctant to accept and follow those uncomfortable truths until eventually grave errors are committed.
丝丝入扣 译网打尽
英语是形合的语言,汉语是意合的语言,这已经在翻译界形成共识。汉语句子之间的衔接,甚至短语之间的衔接,就显得格外地重要。我们来看汉译英段落中的一些句子的处理,如何通过连接词语体现严密的逻辑关系,从而体现英语的特点。
例1 人们通常喜欢听好听的话,一听到拂耳之言就容易产生不悦甚至愠怒。
译文:We tend to hear words pleasant to the ear but have displeasure and resentment at words harsh to the ear.
以上两个短句间是转折的关系,可以利用but进行衔接。
例2 一个人特别是身居要职的人要能够心悦诚服地倾听逆耳之良言并从中获得智慧,就需要一种容忍和大度的雅量。
译文:A man, especially one occupying an important position, needs tolerance and magnanimity to lend an ear to truthful yet offensive words with heartfelt admiration so as to gain wisdom from them.
以上句子中“需要一种容忍和大度的雅量”的目的是要“能够心悦诚服地倾听逆耳之良言”,而“从中获得智慧”又是“心悦诚服地倾听逆耳之良言”的目的,目的关系可以通过不定式to或者so as to来进行衔接。
例3 但在行为上,人们又时常背离这些古训,不愿意听或听不进“逆耳”之言,”最终犯下严重的过失。
译文:However, in our behaviours, we tend to depart from those established maxims, reluctant to accept and follow those uncomfortable truths until eventually grave errors are committed.
“最终犯下严重的过失”一句,通过“最终”二字,说明和前面一个短句间的时间先后关系,所以我们可以采用until一词来自然地进行衔接。