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And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.
当时我住在地下室的公寓里，我没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气，只是在地板上铺一个垫子，房间里到处都是跳骚。我感到困惑不已，我在想，“为什么她突然走了？为什么我住在满是跳骚的屋子里？”我无法理解，但一定有理由的，要是能直接拿起电话问上帝不是太好了吗？
And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"—at the time he was the king—"and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.
于是我开始些东西，脑海中涌现出一段与上帝的对话，那是只有我一个人的独白。写完之后，我看着我写的东西，对自己讲话。那时，我还没有开始做单人脱口秀节目，因为当时纽奥良没有俱乐部。我说，我将要在“今夜秀”上和约翰尼·卡森一起表演这一段。他当时是主持界大王，我将成为该节目史上第一个被他访问的女性。数年之后，我成了该节目史上第一位，也是唯一一位和约翰尼一起坐下被访问的女性，全是因为我写的“与上帝打电话对话”的剧本。
And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.
从此我开始做单人脱口秀节目，非常成功，非常棒，但也非常艰难，因为我想取悦每一个人，我守着自己是同志的秘密，我想每个人要是发现我是同性恋，就不会喜欢我了，还会嘲笑我。
Then my career turned into—I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents—this was back, many years ago—and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.
接着，我有了自己的喜剧，也很成功，更进一步的成功。我又在想，要是人们发现我是同性恋了，该怎么办？他们再也不会看我的节目了。这是很早以前事情，你们可能不知道，这是我们的总统还是白人的时候，那是多年前的事了。我最后决定，我一直都是带着羞耻和恐惧而活，我不能再这么活着了。我最终决定将这个秘密公之于众，要有创造性。
