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Why women lie
研究表明女性为何喜欢说谎
Advice columnist Ann Landers once said that the naked truth is always better than the best-addressed lie. But some new information on women and lying could leave you wondering was anyone listening.
建议专栏作家Ann Landers曾经说过，赤裸裸的事实总是好过经过最佳伪装的谎言。但是关于女性和谎言的一些新的信息会让你想知道，到底有没有人听从这个建议。
I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.
我和一名25岁的男子睡觉。
what did you just say?
你刚刚说了什么？
I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.
我和一个25岁的男子睡觉。
On NBC's Lipstick Jungle, one woman lies on the job when accused of sexual harassment.
在NBC的Lipstick Jungle节目中，一名女性被指控性骚扰时就自己的工作说谎。
Is there any truth? Jay's claim?
事实真相是什么？Jay的说法是这样的吗？
No, absolutely not.
不，绝对不是。
And in the classic film, Belle de Jour, this woman is both chaste wife and unknown to her husband, a prostitute.
在经典影片《白日美人》中，这名女子一方面是贞妇，另一方面是她的丈夫所不知道的妓女。
Sure, these are the stories of the big and small screen, but might they reflect real-life drama more than you'd initially think?
当然，这些都是大荧幕上的故事，但它们是否比你最初认为的更能反映现实生活？
A new book "Little white lies, deep dark secrets" suggested that the answer to that question is yes. Its author found women use lies in a broad range of areas as a means to an end. 75% of women say have to lie in the workplace to sustain their positions. 60% admit to an addiction secret. 50% have mixed emotions about mothering.
一本新书“一点善意的谎言，深刻而黑暗的秘密”表明该问题的答案是肯定的。这本书的作者发现女性在许多方面使用谎言作为结束的方式。75%的女性表示，她们不得不在工作场合说谎来维持自己的职位。60%的女性承认在毒瘾方面说谎。50%的女性对亲情心情复杂。
I think that women, you know, keep secrets in order to protect themselves. uh, nobody likes to be judged, you know, I do have a very open relationship with my children, but when they ask me direct questions, I don't feel it's always beneficial to, you know, to answer them.
我认为女性保守秘密是为了自我保护。没有人喜欢被人评判，你知道，我和我的孩子之间关系非常开明，但是当他们问非常直接的问题时，我不认为直接回答他们是有益的。
I think everyone, you know, conceal the truth, all throughout their day at different times, in different ways, in different situations, and because of that, you know, all different types of things can be considered lying, yeah.
我认为每个人一天中不同的时间，不同的场合都在以不同的方式说谎。因此，所有不同类型的事情都可以被认为是说谎。
Sometimes, you're left better unsaid, if that, if that telling a lie by not telling how you really feel, then I do, I'm guilty of it.
有时，如果说谎话，不说出真实感受的话，什么都不说反而更好，否则我会感到愧疚。
Lying is a survival mechanism, so we yes, we definitely all do it.
说谎是一种生存机制，所以我们所有人都会说谎。
And Susan Shapiro Barash, she is the author of "Little white lies, deep dark secrets". Argie Allen is a relationship therapist. Good morning to both of you.
Susan Shapiro Barash是“一点善意的谎言，深刻而黑暗的秘密”一书的作者。Argie Allen是一位关系治疗师。两位，早上好。
I want to point out that those two women, you just saw, they are not serial liars by any means, they are just speaking in general terms about women and lying. And Susan, you found out through your research that most women live by this code of lying, secrets and deception. Is it something that's hardwired in us, or is it nurtured?
我要指出的是，这两位女性，无论从哪个角度讲都不是经常说谎的人，他们说的是广泛意义上的女性和说谎的问题。Susan，你的研究发现大部分女性的生存都遵守说谎，秘密和欺骗的密码。这是先天存在于我们体内的还是后天培养的？
I think it's both, Merida, it's partly the culture, really almost encouraging women to make a secret of anything that isn't what they're supposed to do, perhaps, an addiction, women lie about money, and then nurturing while our mothers have often taught us how to lie compassionately, you don't tell your friend she doesn't look good in a dress, you don't tell your husband you don't like the necklace he brought home.
我认为双方面都有，Merida，部分是文化的原因，几乎鼓励认为对他们不应该做的任何事情说谎，此外，女人在金钱方面会说谎，而我们的母亲经常教给我们慈悲地撒谎，你不会告诉你的朋友她穿那条裙子不漂亮，你不会告诉你的丈夫你不喜欢他买回家的项链。
But those are innocent lies, aren't they?
但是这些都是无恶意的谎言，不是吗？
Innocent lies, but they can take you to the lie that you really need and sometimes it's just expedient to lie. So women have to decide.
无恶意的谎言，但是有时候会导致你说出自己需要的谎言，有时甚至将谎言作为权宜之计。一些女性必须做出决定。
We have some of our viewers email us things that they lie about, and one woman wrote my biggest lie would be my happiness in my marriage. I'm actually miserable but put on the facade that all is ok. Another said that I don't tell my husband exactly how much money we have and what we owe. I also don't tell him how much of a tax refund we received.
我们的一些观众发送电子邮件告诉了我们他们曾经说过的谎话。一名女性写道：我最大的谎言就是我的婚姻幸福。我实际上非常痛苦，但是外表看上去一切都好。另外一位女性说，我没有告诉我的丈夫我们有多少钱，我们欠多少钱。我也没告诉他我们有多少退税补贴。
Now those, those are going towards the bad, aren't they?
这些都是不太好的谎言，是吗？
Well, these are betterment lies, thy lie improves the situation, and you know if you reveal your secret, you feel that it is not really going to help you.
这些都是改良性谎言。他们说谎是为了改善形势，你知道如果自己拆穿了谎言也不会有所帮助。
