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199.Another sermon
199.再一次布道
The Reverend Jessie Johnson gives another sermon:
杰西。约翰逊牧师大人再一次布道了：
"My brethren, tonight I'm gonna talk about a sensitive topic. It's about what the Lord can do for you and what you can do for the Lord. I want you all to turn on your sensory mechanisms and pay attention. The Lord can be the good shepherd and shatter your shackles, shear you clean, and lead you to lie down in the serenity of the shade by the still waters, or the Lord can be as an avenging angel with a serrated sword that he will pull from its sheath, sharpen, and use to shatter that spiritual shell you have around you. You have the choice. Do I hear an amen?"
"我的教友们，今晚我要讲个敏感的话题。是有关主能为你们做些什么，以及你们能为主做些什么的话题。我希望大家启动感官机制，注意倾听。主可以是个善良的牧羊人，打碎你们的枷锁，把你们的身体修剪得一干二净，引领你们来到静静的河畔，让你们躺在宁静的树阴下。或者，主可以像个复仇天使，从鞘中拔出锯齿宝剑，将其磨利，砍碎套在你们身上的精神外壳。选择在于大家。你们同意吗？"
"Amen!" answers the congregation.
"阿门！"全体教徒应答。
The Reverend dances around the stage shaking his bum and shaking his hands in the air.
牧师大人在讲台上跳着舞，扭动着屁股，在空中摇摆着双手。
"All you must do is follow the sequence that the Lord has provided for you. First, you must get that sewerage out of your life. Give up that shallow, shabby, shameless behavior that you think is fun. Next, shed that thing you call pride cause pride is just sheer arrogance, and arrogance keeps you from getting sentimental with the Lord. Yes, don't be afraid to sentimentalize. Sentimentalism with the Lord is what counts. Finally, you must give to the Lord. So now take out them wallets and start giving. I say to you sharply and with sensitivity don't you shaft the Lord. If you shaft the Lord, he's gonna shaft you. Do I hear an amen?"
"你们必须做的就是遵循主为你们订立的程序。首先，你们必须排除污浊以净化生命，放弃你们认为有趣的那种浅薄、卑鄙、无耻的行为。其次，去掉你们称为自尊的那个东西，因为自尊只不过是纯粹的自大，并且自大使你们不能对主自作多情。对，不要怕自作多情，对主自作多情是值得的。最后，你们必须向主捐献。现在掏出钱包，开始捐献。我以高度的敏感性并且毫不客气地向你们指出，你们不要欺骗主。如果你们欺骗主，他就会欺骗你们。你们同意吗？"
"Amen!" shouts the congregation.
"阿门！"全体教徒喊道。
The Reverend shouts, "Whoopee!" jumps down from the platform, and starts passing around the offering plate. "Come on ya'll! Don't be stingy with the Lord!"
"哈哈！"牧师大人喊着，跳下讲台，开始传递捐献盘。"大家快点！不要跟主小气！"
