1.Groceries
1.采购
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.
女人:女人会根据需要列出购物单,去超市里买这些东西。
A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good.
男人:男人会等到冰箱里只剩下半个柠檬。然后去超市买东西。他会把那些看着不错的东西都买下来。
2.Money
2.金钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
男人:用得着的东西,要是值1块钱却卖2块,男人也会买。
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
女人:用不着的东西,要是值2块钱却只卖1块,女人也会买。
3.Bathrooms
3.浴室
A man has at most 6 items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
男人:男人的浴室里有6样东西:一把牙刷、刮胡膏、刮胡刀、一块Dial牌肥皂、一块从假日酒店里顺手牵羊的毛巾。
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
女人:在一个典型女人的浴室,平均会有437样物品。男人认不出其中的绝大多数。
4.Dressing Up
4.穿戴整齐
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
女人:女人在做以下事情时,都会穿戴整齐,买东西,浇花,倒垃圾,接电话,读书,取信。
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
男人穿戴整齐时,他是要去参加婚礼或者葬礼。
5.The Telephone
5.电话
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
男人:对男人来说,电话是沟通的工具。他们用电话给别人发短信。
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
女人:女人可以在在朋友家住了两周之后,一回到家就给同一个朋友打电话,一打就是仨小时。
6.Nicknames
6.昵称
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
女人:要是劳蕊,琳达,伊丽莎白和芭芭拉出去吃饭,她们互相称呼劳蕊,琳达,伊丽莎白和芭芭拉。
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
男人:要是马克,克瑞斯、埃瑞克和汤姆出去吃饭,他们会互相亲密地称作胖子、恶狼、癞头和废材。
7.Maturity
7.成熟
Women mature much faster then men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults.
女人:她们比男人成熟得早很多。大部分17岁的姑娘已经和成年女性差不多了。
Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
男人:大部分17岁的小伙子还热衷于交换棒球卡、在体育课之后打打闹闹。这也就是为什么高中时期的恋情很少有结果。
8.Marrige
8.婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
女人:女人嫁给一个男人,希望他能改变,可他变不了。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
男人:男人娶了一个女人,希望她永远不变,可她却变了。
9.Admitting Mistakes
9.承认错误
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.
女人:女人有时会认错。
The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.
男人:上一个承认自己错了的男人要追溯到卡斯特将军(死于19世纪后期)。
10.Success
10.成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
男人:成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的。
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
女人:成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人。