It's not the best idea to be constantly searching for warning signs in every relationship. If you're always looking for trouble, nothing is ever going to actually work out. Still, once you've been dating long enough, it starts to get easier to notice the tiny flags that typically mean a relationship just isn't built to last. Here are the signs a relationship is probably doomed, inspired by a recent Ask Reddit thread that asked people to spill the things they see as dating death sentences.
总是寻找每一段感情中的危险迹象并不是个好想法。如果你总是找问题,那什么都无法得到真正解决。但只要和他/她在一起的时间足够久,你就会很容易注意到一些讯号,通常这些讯号表明这段感情不会长久。最近Ask Reddit上问了这样一个问题--让人们分享给恋情判死刑的一些事情--受这些事情的启发,这些迹象表明一段恋情可能没有好结果,
1. You're trying to change each other. People can change, but it takes time, and it doesn't work if someone is trying to force it. If you catch yourself thinking, This person would be perfect if only [insert thing here], you're probably less happy than you think you are.
1. 你们正试着改变彼此。人们可能会变,但这需要时间,如果被人强迫改变,通常是行不通的。如果你发现自己在想,如果他/她能(怎么怎么样),那他/她就完美了,那在这段恋情中,你可能并没有自己想象的那么开心。
2. Hanging out just feels like an obligation. It's nice to have a go-to person to share meals with and be lazy with when you have no energy but need human contact. But if you're only hanging out with the person you've committed to dating out of obligation, where's the fun in that? No spark! No sizzle!
2. 感觉一起出去玩是种义务。当你想要与人一起吃饭,或是当你没有精力但想要与人交流时,能有人陪着会让你觉得非常温馨。但如果你只是因为觉得自己和他/她在约会,所以有义务陪他/她,那这样还有何乐趣呢?没有火花就没有碰撞!
3. Tiny things annoy you. Especially if it's tiny things they mean to be nice but just end up annoying you anyway. Like they offer to wash the dishes, but do it all wrong, and you get mad instead of laughing off the mistake. There's something deeper happening here that has nothing to do with forks and knives, and you should take a moment to evaluate what's really bothering you.
3. 很小的事情就能惹怒你。尤其是那种本意是好的,但结果却惹恼你的小事。比如说他们主动说要洗碗,但却洗得不对,然后你就会发怒而不是嘲笑他们犯的错。这种情况下存在一种更深层的问题,无关刀叉,你应该找时间想清楚真正困扰你的是什么。
4. Every argument feels like it could end in a breakup. If you can't have a calm argument with your partner without feeling terrified they're going to dump you at the end of it, that's a problem. People argue. Couples argue. Again, there's something deeper happening here if every single disagreement feels like it could be The Big One.
4. 感觉每一次争吵都可能导致分手。如果争吵时你害怕另一半最终会抛弃你,因此你无法与他平心静气谈谈的话,那这就是问题所在。人们都会吵架,情侣也会吵架。但再一次,如果感觉每一次小争吵都能导致分手,那肯定有更深层的东西值得探讨。
5. Parts of their personality feel like a compromise. It's normal to compromise in a relationship - no two people are exactly alike, and even if there were someone exactly like you out there, would you even want to date them? (NO!) What's not so normal is to feel like there are parts of their personality you just have to ignore in order to keep dating them. That's not fair to either of you.
5. 他们的有些性格你不喜欢,但你妥协了。谈恋爱妥协是很正常的--没有两个人是完全一样的,即使有人和你完全相同,但你会愿意和他/她约会吗?(不会的!)如果你为了和他/她约会,而忽视了他/她的某些性格,那这就不正常了。这对你们两个都不公平。
译文属可可原创,仅供学习交流使用,未经许可请勿转载