Mike: Dad, look, I need a favour, I'm late for my night class and the car won't start.
Jason: Ok, here. Take mine.
Mike: Great!
Jason: And I'm running low on gas. Here's a twenty.
Mike: Oh, gee whiz dad. Thanks.
Maggie: Jason that was Mike.
Jason: It sure was.
Carol: You just gave him your car.
Chrissy: I don't even lend him my toys.
Jason: Come on. He hasn't missed a single night class in three months. He finally cares about
school. Why would I not lend a young man like that my car?
Chrissy: The poor dumb shlum.
Jason: Hey. Com eon. If you guys screwed up for twenty years and finally turned your life
around like that, you can borrow my car too.
Ben: Aright!
(knock at the door)
Jason: And Maggie, if I am way off base here, just speak up.
Maggie: Not in front of the children.
Jason: Kate!
Kate: Hi.
Jason: How are you? I haven't seen you for months. Look who's here.
Maggie: Hey. Nice to see you.
Kate: Good to see you too. Where is Mike?
Carol: He just left.
Ben: Yeah. In the car that dad is going to let me borrow if I can just screw up for another six
years.
Kate: It's Tuesday. It's my night to drive.
Maggie: Is this fishnet stocking night a English class?
Kate: English class?
Maggie: At Boynton. You are both at night school.
Kate: Why would I go to Boynton? I went to a real college.
Jason: Well if you and Mike aren't going to night class, where are you going?
Kate: Same place we've been going for the passed three months.
Song: They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway. On Broadway. They say there's always
magic in the air. In the air. But when they...
Mike: Kate, you are late.
Kate: Why didn't you tell me that you parents didn't know about this job?
Mike: Because I...what? Where did you see my parents?
Kate: At your house. It's Tuesday. It's my turn to drive.
Mike: Oh my gosh.
Mike and Kate: On Broadway.
Mike: Oh great. Now they know that I have been skipping class.
Kate: Excuse me. The least you could do is apologize.
Mike: For what?
Kate: I felt like a fool Mike. I got caught in the middle of your lie.
Mike: What about me. I am caught in the middle of your lie.
Kate: Good.
Lady: You better cover your tables. It's getting ugly over there.
Kate: You know it's at times like this that I am really happy we're not dating.
Mike: What do you mean? Come on, we go out every week.
Kate: No, I mean dating dating.
Mike: Oh, you want me to pay?
Kate: Mike, why did you have to lie to your parents? When are you going to grow up and tell
them that you are a singing waiter?
Kate: Well apparently tonight.
Jason: Honey, all the punishments we have ever come up with, none of them have ever
worked.
Maggie: Well what are you going to do to him?
Jason: Something new. Something bold. Something wild. Now you go upstairs. Please.
Maggie: Well I will so long as you give me the poker.
Mike: Uh, hey dad. Did you hear the news? Kate's been institutionalized for being a
pathological liar. He's not going to buy that. Right Mike, it's time to face this like a man.
Goodnight dad.
Jason: Mike. No no, come, come. Sit! Come on, by the fire.
Mike: Uh dad. Where's the poker?
Jason: Mum's got it upstairs in the bed.
Mike: Oh.
Jason: Sit!
Mike: Ok.
Jason: That fire's getting kind of low isn't it? I guess you are probably wondering why I am burning your books.
Mike: These are my books?
Jason: Yeah.
Mike: Dad.
Jason: From that night school class you haven't been attending.
Mike: Oh uh, look look dad. I can explain all this.
Jason: Uh hu. Mike can you and I just be honest with each other?
Mike: Well uh uh um um. I'm a little afraid of what that might do to our relationship dad.
Jason: I've been wrong Mike. I've been a hundred percent wrong.
Mike: Pardon me.
Jason: I've been wrong about forcing you to stay in school.
Mike: Oh. Well I guess we should have tried this honesty thing a long time ago.
Jason: Just because I've this thing, and I want you to have security in this insecure world, and
I think you should have a degree...that doesn't mean you should have the same dream. Your
dream is to act Mike. I want you to follow that dream one thousand percent. Do it! I'm behind
you all the way.
Mike: How far behind me?
Maggie: Honey, you didn't come to bed last night.
Jason: You know there is no traffic in Manhattan at five in the morning.
Maggie: What were you doing in Manhattan?
Jason: I need to be there Maggie to pick up my copies of Variety, Backstage, Casting Call.
Maggie: Oh, so Mike convinced you to become an actor too, did he?
Jason: This Maggie is Mike's hopes and dreams. And this is the real world. Any questions?
Mike: Mum, dad, my alarm clock just went off at six am. I don't even have an alarm clock.
Jason: Oh, you do now Mike. It's breakfast. Sit! Sit!
Mike: Hu?
Jason: Mike's hopes and dreams with bacon. Come on son. And while you are eating, take a
look through these trades. That is what you actors call them, isn't it?
Mike: Yeah.
Jason: Right here Mike. I've circled a few things that I thought you might be right for.
Mike: Mum!
Maggie: I don't know.
Mike: Dad, isn't this a little early to be talking about auditioning?
Jason: Come on. If you are going to go for it, you've got to get up and go for it. Look at this?
Looking for a lovable, irresponsible doofus. Maggie, it's our boy.
Maggie: Maybe not just him.
Mike: I could play this.
Jason: Of course you could. There are hundreds of them in there. Come on, take these, get
going. Go, go, go, go, go!
Mike: Alright.
Jason: Wait a minute, you are going to need some lunch money.
Mike: Wow.
Jason: Alright.
Mike: Thanks dad.
Jason: Yep yep, it's working Maggie.
Maggie: Really?
Jason: Sometimes I frighten myself.
Maggie: Sweetheart, this is our marriage. This is your plan. Many questions?
Mike: Hi, I'm Mike Seaver. I'm here to read for the part of the...
Receptionist: The lovable, irresponsible, doofus.
Mike: I'm a natural.
Receptionist: we are running and hour late. The producer is getting a little behind.
Mike: Oh oh, no problem. I'm in no hurry. I've got no place else to go.
Receptionist: That is so sad.
Mike: It could be a lot worse. I could be in school getting an education.
Man: I hear you.
Mike: Oh hey, hey hey! Isn't that that famous actor from that old show "Law Force"?
Man: I don't know. I only watch PBS.
Mike: Yeah, that's him. that's Lionel Douglas. I never missed an episode. He was awesome.
Well, well, well. Freeze! You should know better that to mess with the Law Force.
Lionel: That's pretty good kid.
Mike: I knew it. Lionel Douglas! Wait till I tell my mum that I met you. Oh she thinks you have
got the cutest butt. Not that I don't. No. I mean that in a manly kind of way. You know.
Lionel: Easy kid. You are going to explode.
Mike: You've got a sense of humour like regular people. that's great. Ah, wa wa, you're not
reading for the part of the lovable doofus are you? Cos if I'm reading against you I don't stand
a chance. I mean look, I don't ant to humiliate myself.
Lionel: Kid. Relax. Would an EMMI award winning star of his own prime time television series
be reading for a bit part? Think.
Mike: About what? Oh, no, of course not.
Lionel: See actually they are adding a new leading man to the Big City Secrets, so if I like the
script thing might happen.
Mike: Ok.
Lionel: You've got to be real careful what kind of television you do.
Mike: I for one only do colour.
Receptionist: Mr. Douglas.
Lionel: Yes. Oh hey kid. Good luck. You'll make a great doofus.