-Leonard：Want some more wine?
再来点儿红酒?
-Stephanie：Yeah, I mean, I assume I'm not driving anywhere tonight.
好的呀，今晚我又不用开车去别的地方。
(Sheldon 在对面的厨房一边用力拧瓶盖一边发出很吃力的声音)
-Leonard：What are you doing?
你在干嘛?
-Sheldon：I have a craving for white asparagus that apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.
我突然很想吃白芦笋，看情形是没法满足了。
-Leonard：Excuse me.
失陪下。
What the hell is wrong with you?
你到底在干嘛?
-Sheldon：I'm helping you with Stephanie.
我在帮助你讨好Stephanie。
-Leonard：By making constipated moose sounds?
就像这样模仿便秘的麋鹿叫唤?
-Sheldon：When I fail to open this jar and you succeed, it will establish you as the "alpha" male.
如果我开不了这瓶罐头而你能打开，就可以树立你的猛男形象。

You see...when a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, she produces the hormone oxytocin.
是这样的... 当雄性在雌性面前展现力量优势时，雌性会释放催产素荷尔蒙。
If the two of you then engage in intercourse, this will create the biochemical reaction in the brain which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."
如果你俩之后进行性交，大脑里会产生生化反应，普通人会天真地解释为是"相爱了"。
-Leonard：Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
那揍你一拳能不能达到同样的效果?
-Sheldon：Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.
嗯，应该可以，但我们还是拧盖子吧。
I'm not strong enough, Leonard, you'll have to do it.
我不够强壮，Leonard 你得帮帮我。
-Leonard：Oh, for God's sakes.
噢，上帝呀。
-Sheldon：Go ahead, it's pre-loosened.
来吧，已经松动了。
-Stephanie：Do you want some help with that?
要不要帮忙?
-Leonard：No, no, no, I got it.
不，不，不，我能搞定。
-Sheldon：No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising.
是的，是的，他能搞定，不会有意外的。
This is something I long ago came to peace with in my role as the beta male.
我早就安分于自己的小弟身份。
Open it.
快打开。
-Stephanie：Oh, my God, are you okay?
噢，天哪，你还好吧?
-Leonard：No, I'm not. I'm bleeding.
不，我不好，我在流血。
-Sheldon：Just like a gladiator!
如角斗士般淌着血!
-Stephanie：Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches.
噢，宝贝，你得缝针了。
-Leonard：Stitches? With a needle?
缝针? 用针来缝?
-Stephanie：Well, yeah, I mean, just a few.
嗯，是的，用不了几针。
-Leonard：Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.
噢，好的，等一下下。
Leonard趴到水池边呕吐。
-Sheldon：FYI,I was defrosting a steak in there.
FYI：For Your Information （供你参考） defrost：使解冻
那啥，我放了块牛肉在池子里解冻呢。