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Oh! Max...
麦克斯
Will you come look at Brangelina?
能过来看一眼布莱洁莉娜吗
I think the spray tan lady went a little too far.
我觉得那个美黑师有点过头了
I wanted them to look tan not foreign.
我想他们看起来阳光点 不是像外籍劳工
They look fine.
看上去还好呀
A little Lebanese
就有点像黎巴嫩人
but that'll clear up in a day or two.
但过个一两天就能恢复"本色"了吧
I'm having the worst day.
今天真是太霉了
Jessica Seinfeld stole the Martha Stewart boy
宋飞的老婆把玛莎的御用同志给挖走了
I am so upset with her.
我对她太失望了
I thought we were pretending to be friends.
假装当姐妹的情谊都不顾了
And now I have no one to do the desserts.
现在甜点也没人给我做了
Hello Peach exciting news...
你好 琵琪 好消息
I have a cupcake business. They're really good.
我有个小蛋糕店 它们超美味
Give these to your friends and help launch
劳烦把名片给你的朋友们 帮我新店
a new business or whatever.
站稳脚跟 或随便怎么着吧
That's it. I did it. Boom!
说完了 我做到了 收工
Okay the bed still isn't built.
好吧 床还没装
But the mattress came and it's so good.
但今天把床垫送来了 超级舒服哟
Oh no... this is not okay.
不行 这样不行
We're not keeping a mattress on the floor.
我们不能把床垫放在地板上
We're poor not crackheads.
人穷不代表要无下限
And you tricked me.
你居然唬弄我
I did my part so you better get this bed done.
我名片都给人了 赶紧把你该装的床装上
Max you gave Peach the cards.
麦克斯 你把卡片给琵琪了
I'm so proud of you. What did she say?
我真为你感到骄傲 她说什么了
No. Shut it. Do it.
别吵 闭嘴 干活
Relax. The bed will be assembled
放轻松嘛 这床在今天之前
and hidden in the wall by the end of the day
肯定会组装完毕 然后收到墙上
'cause I decided to do what cute girls
因为我决定采用美女
have been doing for centuries.
从古到今的惯用伎俩
I asked a guy for help.
找个男人来帮忙
You called a guy?
你找了个男人
Oh is he going to climb up your long blonde hair
他是要顺着你长长的金发
and rescue you from your Murphy bed tower?
爬进你的折叠床城堡中拯救你吗
Wait. You don't know any guys.
慢着 你不认识任何男人
Who did you invite?
你把谁叫过来了
Johnny. No. No no no no.
强尼 不 不 不
Eh I don't want to see Johnny.
我不想看见他
I had a weird thing with him at the diner last night.
我昨晚我跟他在餐馆擦出了尴尬的小火花
I thought you guys were friends.
我以为你俩是朋友呢
I don't know what we are.
我不知道我俩算什么
He was fake interviewing me with a celery stalk...
他拿根芹菜假装采访我
'Cause you're both grown ups.
"成年人"嘛 无可厚非
And when he put it near my mouth
当他把它放到我嘴边时
I thought he wanted me to bite it so I...
我以为他要我咬一口呢 所以我...
You bit it? I bit it!
你咬了 我咬了
That is weird and humiliating and hot.
这真是又雷人又丢人又撩人
Yes yes and yes. Call him right now!
对对 全中 所以快给他打电话
He can't come over here. Look around!
他不能过来 你看看四周
I have his napkins hanging up everywhere.
我把他的餐巾挂满整个屋子
He'll think I'm Dexter.
他会以为我是嗜血法医
Don't answer that.
别接
Don't you... Come on in Johnny.
你敢 进来吧 强尼
Yes I did it. I need a bed.
是的 我敢 我需要一张床
You are so selfish!
你太自私了
Yes I'm selfish and you're Dexter.
对 我是自私鬼 也好过你个杀人狂
So quick... help me take down the napkins.
所以还是快动手帮我把餐巾都摘掉吧
Oh God there are so many!
天啊 怎么这么多
How come I never noticed how many there were before?
我之前怎么完全没有意识到
I don't know. Same reason you didn't notice
不知道 大概跟你没意识到
your father stealing everybody's money.
你爸骗了所有人的钱一样吧
Really? Really? Now when I'm helping you?
你真要这样吗 我现在可是在帮你哟
You're right. We'll trash you later.
你赢了 那晚点再损你好了
Why don't you just ask him what the celery moment meant?
为什么你不直接问他 那一口芹菜意味着什么
I don't want to ask him.
我不想问
You don't want to ask anybody anything.
你从来不想问任何人任何事
It's not like the business cards.
这又不像名片
What am I going to say?
我要怎么开口
"Good afternoon Johnny."
"下午好 强尼
"Exciting news... I have started
好消息 我开了一家
an oddly sexual celery biting business."
尴尬情欲咬芹菜店"
Be right there Johnny!
马上就来 强尼
Yo.
好呀
