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Okay, I've got the kosher cookbook, salt, flour, sugar, new mixing bowls,
我买了犹太洁食食谱，盐，面粉，糖，新的搅拌碗
and I stopped at the goodwill and got us two appropriately sad schmatas to wear for tomorrow. Let's start.
还去了趟善心二手店，买了两件明天穿的端庄素色衣服。开工吧
Start? I'm already half done.
什么开工，我都做一半了
How could you be half done? You didn't have any kosher ingredients.
你怎么可能做完一半了。你又没有洁食用的材料
Oh, they'll never know, we'll just tell them they're kosher.
他们又吃不出来，我们说是洁食的就行了
Oh, my God, we can't do that.
天啊，不可以这样
Oh, my God, we just did.
天啊，已经这样了
They have to be kosher. Do you want God to smite us?
必须做成洁食才行。你就不怕遭天谴吗
What's he gonna do? Take away all my good luck and your fortune?
老天还能怎么惩罚我们？收回我的好运和你的亿万家财吗
You think all those things labeled low fat are low fat? It is just a sales gimmick.
难道写着低脂的食物真是低脂的吗？不过是销售把戏罢了
I had a low cal ice cream bar once that popped my top Jean button.
有次我吃了根低卡冰棒，我牛仔裤的扣子立马就给崩了
Kosher isn't a sales gimmick. It's thousands of years of tradition. We have to respect that.
犹太洁食不是销售把戏。是人家千年来的传统。我们得尊重人家啊
I don't respect anyone's tradition. That's kind of my tradition.
我从不尊重任何人的传统。这就是我的传统
Well maybe that's because you didn't grow up around a family.
也许是因为你成长过程中没有家人陪在身边吧
Hey, I grew up with a lot of families. The Manson family, the Jackson family, the Menendezes.
我成长过程中有无数家人好吗？曼森家，杰克森家，米南德兹家
Wait, is that Menendezes or Menen-di? Either way, they were like brothers to me.
等等，是念米南德兹还是米南戴兹？反正他们都待我如兄长
Max, we are doing these straight up kosher.
麦克斯，我们就老老实实做洁食吧
Fine. But return those new bowls, I don't need them.
好吧。你把新搅拌碗拿去退了吧，不需要
I can just dump the bacon bits out of this old one.
我把培根都捞出来就能接着用了
Max, please, let's just start the cupcakes over, drop them off, get me some antibiotics, come home, and put me to bed.
麦克斯，你就得重新做吧，明天交货，收钱，买抗生素，然后回家，让我上床养病
All right, I'll make them kosher.
行行行，我做成洁食就是了
I mean, it's the least you could do after you lied to that woman and let her think you were one of them.
这也是你欠人家的，谁让你骗了人家还让她误以为你是犹太人
Hey, I don't know who my father is. I could be half Jewish.
我又不知道我爹是谁。我很可能有一半犹太血统啊
Although it's more likely I'm half bartender who demanded my mom figure out a way to pay her tab.
不过我更可能是酒保的女儿，可能当年我妈被拐着"酒债肉偿"
