You missed the party.
你错过了派对。
What is that? That.
那是什么? 这个?
Yes, see, I fell on the box.
那个 我刚才摔了一下
The squirrel?
松鼠
That's on us.
是本店的赠品
You know, I tried to keep my body between the ground and the box, but, you know, I think I got a little bruise.
我用尽了浑身的解数 阻止盒子落地 可是我好像把屁股给擦破了
See anything back there?
看得见伤口吗?
Hear that, honey?
听见了吗 老婆?
The clown we paid to be here an hour ago fell on our son's hatchday cake.
我们付钱请的小丑 不仅迟到了一个小时 还把儿子的蛋糕压坏了
That's why our son's hatchday party is ruined!
儿子的破蛋日派对彻底被搞毁了
And the next time you mess up, don't tell me a story, just take responsibility.
下回你再出什么岔子 最好别再编故事 而是给我好好负起责任
Hey, man, it wasn't a story.
嘿 大哥 我没有编故事
"I'm a screwup that woke up late and fell on the thing you paid for!"
我是一个笨的水稻大猪 比乌鸦会打弹弓
It wasn't a story. I almost drowned.
我没有编故事 我还差点溺水
Why don't we just settle this out and say the cake's on you.
以我看 这个蛋糕的钱应该算在你头上
I'm sorry, it's on me?
你刚才说算在我头上?
Well, who else would it be on?
不然算在谁头上?
Well, you know, I... I'm not sure you're gonna like this, but since you asked.
好吧 那个我...这么说你可能会不高兴 既然你提出来了
Rather than being on me, as you suggested, this cake is on you!
要说这个蛋糕应该算在谁的头上 它应该算在你头上
So, you wanna hear a story?
你想听故事 对吗?
I run my butt off, literally, mind you, to get the "glutenfree cake."
我拼了老命地跑 我真的是蛮拼的来送这个无谷蛋白蛋糕
What the heck is gluten?
谷蛋白是个什么鬼?
I mean, does gluten even exist?
世界上真有这种奇葩的东西吗?
Who are you?
你到底是谁?
Get outta here!
你快给我滚
Already? But you're the only one that's had cake.
这么快? 我连蛋糕都还没吃呢
What... That's good stuff.
什么? 味道还不错
Anybody want to eat some cake off their dad or husband? Who needs plates when you got this guy's face, right?
要不要尝尝你老公 你爸爸脸上的蛋糕? 家里有张大鬼脸 连盘子都省了