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It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, But now you mock me with it?
你让我看那电影还不够，你还用它嘲笑我？
Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships.
绅士们，我有个关于约会和恋爱的问题。
You told me you were going to have the talk with him.
你说你已经和他谈过那个了。
I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.
我还等着有人和我谈那个呢。
More to the point, It's about finding a way to keep leonard and Stephanie together.
更重要的是，想办法让莱纳德和斯蒂芬妮继续交往下去。
Oh, I don't think you can. Well, why not? Look at leonard's record. 27 days with Joyce Kim. During which she defected to north korea.
我认为你做不到。为什么不行？看看莱纳德的记录，与乔伊斯·金交往二十七天，然后她逃跑回了朝鲜。
Two booty calls with leslie winkle. For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard."
与莱斯利·温克尔嘿咻两次，因此得了个昵称光速莱纳德，
And the three hour dinner with penny. Which would have been two and a half if They ordered the souffle when they sat down.
三次与佩妮共进晚餐，如他们没坐下来点蛋奶酥的话，就只能算是两次半。
Based on the geometric progression, His relationship with stephanie should have ended after 20 minutes.
根据几何级数，他和斯蒂芬妮在20分钟后就该完蛋了。
Yes, I'm aware of the math. Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth. The issue remains.
我懂如何计算。Y等于27天除以12的商，问题仍未解决。
How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection?
我们如何能避免他不可避免的失败？
Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie, Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.
如你想确保他在斯蒂芬妮的考虑之列，最有把握的是宰了这星球上所有别的男性。
I'll tell you what you shouldn't do. Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the Commercial where the women undress when they smell it. That doesn't work at all.
我告诉你什么不该做，别怂恿他用那广告上说的，女人闻到就会宽衣解带的香体喷雾，一点都没用。
No matter how much you put on.
不管你洒了多少。
So, that's all you've got? Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"? Yeah. yes.
这就是你们的本事？天启式的种族灭绝和别轻信古龙水？对啊。是的。
Penny. Penny? What? Penny? Zucchini bread. Oh, thank you. May I come in? No.
佩妮，佩妮，什么事？佩妮？西葫芦面包。谢谢。我能进去吗？不行。
I see. Apparently, My earlier inquiry regarding you and leonard crossed some sort of line. I apologize. Well, thank you.
我懂了，显然，我之前关于你和莱纳德的问题越界了，我道歉。谢谢你。
So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium? Yes. great. New topic.
那我们又可以平等交谈了。是的。很好。新的话题。
Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
你现在在你月经周期里的哪一天？
What? ! I've been doing some research online, and apparently female primates, You know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you.
什么？我在网上做了些调查，显然灵长目雌性的猿，黑猩猩，你们，
They find their mate more desirable When he's being courted by another female.
她们觉得她们的配偶被另一个雌性追求时更有吸引力，
Now, This effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.
当竞争的雌性在排卵期分泌激素时，这种效果更强烈。
Which brings me back to my question. Where are you in your
这又回到我最初的问题，你在...
Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.
很显然，我早来了14天。
All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance?
我是说要是能治疗黄热病和疟疾，为何不能治乳糖不耐症？
Leonard, you're going to have to let this go. You had a little cheese dip, you farted. I thought it was cute.
莱纳德，撒手别想了，你吃点乳酪就放屁，我觉得很可爱。
Oh, hi, Stephanie. Wanna more wine? Yeah, I'm not driving anywhere tonight. What are you doing?
嘿斯蒂芬妮。再来点红酒？好的，反正我今晚又不开车去哪。你在干什么？
I have a craving for white asparagus That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied. Excuse me.
我特别想吃白芦笋，但显然未能如愿。失陪一下。
What the hell is wrong with you? I'm helping you with stephanie. By making constipated moose sounds?
你到底怎么了？我在帮你留住斯蒂芬妮。通过像便秘的驼鹿一样叫唤？
When I fail to open this jar and you succeed, It will establish you as the "alpha" male.
当我没打开这瓶盖，而你打开了，这样你就像个男子汉。
You see...When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, She produces the hormone oxytocin.
你知道吗，当女性看到你在展示力量时，她会产生荷尔蒙催产素，
If the two of you then engage in intercourse, This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."
之后如果你们俩交往的话，它会在大脑促生生物化学反应，让人们想当然地以为自己陷入爱河。
Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
那我给你脸一拳管用吗？
Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.
当然可以，但还是让我们看看这个行吗？
I'm not strong enough, leonard, you'll have to do it.
莱纳德，我不够强壮，还是你来吧。
Oh, for god's sakes. Go ahead, it's preloosened.
看在上帝的份上。开吧，已经松动了。
Do you want some help with that? No, no, no.
需要帮助吗？不要不要
I got it. No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising. This is something I long ago came to Peace with in my role as the beta male.
我能搞定。没错没错他能搞定，这不足为奇。很久以前，当我陷入爱河的时候，我是可以打开的。
Open it. Oh. Are you okay? no, I'm not. I'm bleeding. Like a gladiator!
快开。天。你还好吗？我不好。流血了。像个角斗士一样。
Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches. Stitches? with a needle? Well, yeah, I mean, just a few. Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.
哦，亲爱的你得缝几针。缝几针，用针缝吗？对，就几针。好的，稍等一下。
Fyi, I was defrosting a steak in there.
顺便一提，我正在那解冻牛排呢。
What a beautiful job stephanie did.
斯蒂芬尼缝得可真漂亮。
I might have gone with a mattress suture instead of a blanket stitch. But you can't argue with her results.
我只会缝床垫，不会缝毯边。但她缝成这样，你也只能认了。
It's a shame it won't scar. The war wound is a timehonored badge of masculinity.
没留伤疤真是太可惜了。战伤可是古时男子汉的荣誉徽章。
I can't remember a time when you weren't talking.
你什么时候能安静一会。
Just for the record, My efforts to establish you as the alpha Male were not aided by you bursting into tears.
言归正传。我费心费力把你打造成男子汉，你这么痛哭流涕可没啥帮助。
I did not burst into tears, my eyes just got a little watery. Watery? She stuck a needle into my hand!
我没痛哭流涕，只是眼睛湿润了一下而已。湿润了一下？她用针刺我的手。
Hey, how is my big cry baby?
我的小泪孩怎么样了？
I didn't cry. Okay, I'm just teasing you. But, yeah, you did.
我没哭。好吧，我只是在逗你。不过，你确实哭了。
All right, it's all good. What do you say we get you home and put you to bed?
好的，没问题了。我们送你回家，扶你上床怎么样？
Oh, are you still going to spend the night? Uh, no, I think that you probably need to rest.
那你还在那过夜吗？不行，我想你需要休息。
She's right. As long as you're vomiting, coitus is contraindicated.
她说得对，你呕吐的时候交媾是禁忌的。
Thank you, dr. cooper. You're welcome, dr. hofstadter.
谢谢你，库珀博士。不客气，霍夫斯塔德博士。
Okay, I'm going to go get your discharge papers.
好吧，我去拿你的出院单。
What? Well, you seem like a perfectly pleasant person. I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.
怎么了？你就像只可爱至极的小鸟，我真不明白为什么你那么不招女人待见呢。
Hey, can you open this for me? Can I see your stitches? Sure.
能替我打开吗？我能看你的缝针吗？可以。
Answering the question once and for all why Wolowitz bailed out of medical school.
终于明白为什么沃罗威茨会退出医学院了。
Leonard, congratulations. What for? Your facebook status update. Leonard hofstadter is "in a relationship."
莱纳德，可喜可贺啊。为啥？你在facebook里的资料更新了，莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德恋爱了。
What? no. no, that's not right. Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did?
什么？不对，这不对。伙计，在她更新前你就更新你的了。
Speaking as an expert, way to look needy.
以我专业人士的眼光来看，真是饥不择食啊。
Seriously? You went first, after only two weeks? That's bold... It's not bold, it's a mistake. I didn't change my status. Well, then who did?
动真格的吗？才两周，你就先表白了。真是有胆。这不是有胆，这是个误会。我没更新我的资料。那是谁干的？
I had no choice. he cried in front of her.
我别无选择，他都在人家面前哭了。
You hacked my facebook account? Oh, it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything, "kalel."
你侵入了我在facebook里的账户？这算不上侵入，做什么你都用这个密码，卡尔艾尔
Are you insane? Now she's going to think I'm desperate.
你疯了吗？她现在会以为我是没人要的。
You've destroyed this relationship! And you want to know what the worst part is? You don't even understand what you did wrong because you Can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in!
你毁了我们的关系。你知道最糟糕的是什么吗？你根本不知道自己哪里做错了，因为你自以为在任何方面你都是专家。
In which I am not an expert. Don't even!
在那方面，我不是。不要说话。
I don't want to hear another word out of you.
我一个字都不想听。
What's wrong, Lassie timmy fall down the well?
怎么了，莱西·蒂米掉到井里了吗？
She just updated her facebook status.
她也更新了自己在facebook里的资料。
"Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship with Leonard Hofstadter." Really?
斯蒂芬尼·巴内特和莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德相恋了。真的吗？
Oh, look at that. I have a girlfriend.
瞧瞧，我有女友了。
If I am permitted to speak again, Dr. sheldon cooper for the win.
容许我再说一句，谢尔顿·库珀博士，为胜利而生。
