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You know what? I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer.
知道吗？我不要父母控制我的未来。
It's time for a showdown. Somebody give me a computer with a webcam!
是时候摊牌了，谁给我一个带摄像头的电脑！
Okay, sweetie, I think that's the grasshopper talking.
亲爱的，这是酒后之言。
And it's about to tell my parents that I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with Lalita Gupta.
我要告诉我父母，我不要跟拉丽塔古塔骑象走向圣坛。
Okay, calm down. Look, no one can make you get married. Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens?
冷静，没人能逼你结婚，不如跟她见见面，看会怎么样？
Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women.
你没听我说吗？我不能跟女人说话！
Um, Raj ... no, no, let's see how long it takes him.
呃Raj ... 别说，看他多久才醒悟
Um, Raj, honey, you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me.
亲爱的Raj，你说你不能跟女人说话，可你一直在跟我说话。
And now we'll never know.
这将是个永远的谜。
You're right. I ... I am talking to you. Hello, Penny, how are you? I'm fine.
说的对……我正在和你说话。你好，Penny，怎么样？我很好。
Okay, now I just need to make sure I have a Lalita before I meet the grasshopper.
现在我只需确保和草蜢酒见面之前先喝一杯拉丽塔。
It's a sweet, green miracle.
真是甜蜜的绿色奇迹。
Okay, if you're going to drink on this date, just promise me you won't overdo it.
好吧，如果你要靠酒撑过这次约会，向我保证不要太过头。
Overdo what? Happiness? Freedom?
什么过头？快乐过头？自由过头？
This warm glow inside of me that promises everything's going to be all hunky-dunky?
向我保证一切都将顺利无比的这股体内热流？
Yeah, that. Why don't you bring her to my restaurant while I'm tending the bar so I can keep an eye on you. Okay.
没错。你带她来我的餐馆吧，我在吧台可以照看你们。好。
Wait a minute. What's the plan here? Let's say he meets her, he likes her, they get married. What's he going to do, stay drunk for the rest of his life?
等等，你们什么计划？让他俩见面，他喜欢她娶她，然后在酒精的麻痹下度过余生？
Worked for my parents.
我父母就是这样。
I can't believe I'm sitting here next to little Lalita Gupta. Well, you are.
不敢相信小拉丽塔古塔坐在旁边。事实如此了。
Little Lalita. That's kind of fun to say. Little Lalita, little Lalita, little Lalita. You should try it. Oh, it's okay.
小拉丽塔。这个词发音很好玩。小拉丽塔，小拉丽塔，小拉丽塔。你可以试试。谢谢，不用。
You have lost so much weight. That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. Do you remember? Yes, I do.
你瘦了很多，一定很辛苦吧，因为你以前好肥哦，记得吗？是，我记得。
Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat?
当然记得了，肥成那样谁能忘得了？
Well, I've been trying.
我一直在努力。
So you're a dental student.
你现在学牙科了。
Mm, are you aware that dentists have an extremely high suicide rate?
你知道吗？牙医的自杀率特别高。
Not as high as, say, air traffic controllers,
当然没有空中交通管制员高，
but then there are far more dentists than air traffic controllers, so in pure numbers, you're still winning. Yay, me.
但是牙医的基数大大高于空管员，所以单就数量来说，还是你们胜出。我赢咯！
Do you have a drink that will make him less obnoxious?
有什么酒能让他变得不那么烦人？
Drinks do not work that way.
酒没有这种功能。
I'd say he's doing fine. Look at her. The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail.
我觉得他没问题，看她，上次我妈给我安排的相亲对象不但有胡子，还有残留的尾巴
Sorry I'm late. What happened?
对不起我来晚了。怎么了？
Nothing. I just really didn't want to come.
没什么，我就是有点不太想来。
Virgin diet cuba libre, please. Okay.
请来一杯圣洁健怡古巴利布瑞酒。好吧。
In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
用高脚杯，要插柠檬片。
Oh, I'll wedge it right in there.
我这就插。
So how's koothrappali ... oh, my lord. What?
Koothrappali怎么样了？噢我的天。什么？
That's princess Panchali.
这是潘查丽公主。
I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita.
我很确定她叫拉丽塔。
No, no, princess Panchali, from the monkey and the princess.
不是，是《猴子与公主》里的潘查丽。
Oh, yeah. I tried to watch that online, but they wanted my credit card.
哦，对。我想在线看来着，不过要信用卡号的。
It's a children's story. Oh, no, it isn't.
那是儿童故事。才不是呢。
When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, my mother would read it to me.
我小时候生了病，我经常生病，我妈妈会读给我听，
It's about an indian princess who befriends a monkey who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different.
讲一个印度公主，她对一只猴子很好，这只猴子被所有的猴子嘲笑，因为他的样子不同。
For some reason, I related to it quite strongly.
因为某些原因，我对这个故事感同身受。
I know the reason.
我知道原因。
We all know the reason.
我们都知道。
Sheldon, what are you getting at?
Sheldon你想说什么？
That woman looks exactly like the pictures of princess Panchali in the book.
那个女人像极了书上的潘查丽公主。
How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?
多难得见到一个你喜欢的角色活生生在眼前啊。
Every year at comic-con.
每年动漫大会都能见到，
Every day at disneyland. You can hire snow white to come to your house.
迪斯尼每天都有，你可以花钱把白雪公主请回家，
Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid.
最好是家里有小孩，否则她不太愿意去。
Hey, guys. This is Lalita Gupta. Lalita, this is Leonard and Sheldon and Howard and Penny.
伙计们，她是拉丽塔古塔。拉丽塔这是兰纳德，谢尔顿，霍华德，还有佩妮。
Isn't it great? She isn't fat anymore.
你们说多好？她不是肥女了。
Forgive me, your highness, for I am but a monkey,
请原谅公主陛下，我只是一只猴子。
and it is in my nature to climb, I did not mean to gaze upon you as you comb your hair.
我的天性就是爬树，我不是故意在你梳头时弄乱你的头发。
I'm sorry? You are the living embodiment of the beautiful princess Panchali.
什么？你是美丽的潘查丽公主的真身。
Oh, no kidding. Who ... who is that?
不是吧。那是谁？
A beloved character from an indian folktale.
我最爱的印度童话主角。
Us Indian or "come to our casino" indian?
是我们这样的印度人还是开赌场的印度人？
You indian. Oh. The resemblance is remarkable.
你们这样的。哦。简直太像了，
I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair.
我简直可以闻到你黑发上点缀的荷花香。
Well, thanks. I imagine you smell very nice, too.
谢谢。我想你的味道一定也很好。
I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
我每天洗两次澡，洗手无数次。
Really? So do I.
真的？我也是。
But you're a dentist. He's nuts.
但你是牙科学生，他只是疯子。
Don't be insulting, Rajesh. So, Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like.
不要那样说人Rajesh。谢尔顿，多跟我说说那个公主？
It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars,
她的眼睛是神用星星做的，
and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips.
她艳红的唇令玫瑰都羞于开放
Oh, my. Back off, Sheldon. What?
我的天。滚开谢尔顿。为什么？
If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath.
如果你再跟我的女人调情，你会感受到我炽热的怒火。
I'm not hitting on her.
我没挑逗她。
And I am not your lady.
我也不是你的女人。
And you have no wrath.
你也没有怒火。
You are my lady. Our parents said so. We are, for all intents and purposes, 100% hooked up.
你是我的女人，我爸妈说了的，从各方面来说我们都是铁定在一起了。
Okay, let's get something straight here.
好吧，有些话我跟你说清楚。
The only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case.
我今天来见你完全是敷衍我父母。
I certainly don't need to be getting this old world crap from you.
我才不会嫁你这种老土呢。
That's exactly the kind of spirit with which princess Panchali led the monkeys to freedom.
潘查丽公主就是凭这种精神带领猴子走向自由。
Screw princess Panchali. Hey, you can't talk to me like that. But you're not princess Panchali. Luckily for you — she could have you beheaded.
去他妈潘查丽公主。不许你这么说我。你不是潘查丽公主啊。幸好不是，否则你已经被斩首了。
Sheldon, are you hungry?
谢尔顿你饿吗？
I could eat. Let's go.
吃点无妨。我们走。
What just happened?
刚才怎么回事？
Beats the hell out of me.
我也无法解释。
I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up indian chicks.
我告诉你怎么回事。我想我学会怎么泡印度妞了。
What are we supposed to say to Lalita's parents?
让我怎么跟拉丽塔的父母交待？
I play golf with her father. I won't be able to look at him.
我和她爸爸一起打高尔夫，我都无法面对他了。
Maybe you should keep your eye on the ball, papa.
也许你应该看着球，爸爸。
Oh, now you're a funny man. This is not funny, Mr. Funny man.
你现在懂搞笑了，这不好笑！搞笑先生。
Dr. And Mrs. Koothrappali, in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Raj's fault.
Koothrappali医生及夫人，说句公道话，也不全是Raj的错。
This is a family matter, Sheldon. I'm Leonard.
这我们的家事，谢尔顿。我是兰纳德。
Oh, sorry. You all look alike to us.
不好意思，对我们来说你们全都一个样。
But he's right, papa. Listen to him.
他说的对爸爸，听他解释。
You! You are the one who ruined everything.
你！一切都是你搞糟的
Who is it? We can't see. Turn us. Turn us.
是谁？我们看不见。转过去，转过去。
Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren.
说吧，告诉我父母为什么他们抱不上孙子。
How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?
我怎么知道？你精子密度不足？
This has nothing to do with my sperm count.
跟我的精子密度完全没关系。
You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you, Rajesh? Yes, mumi.
我们寄给你的四角裤你穿着吧，Rajesh？是的，妈妈。
Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities.
因为你知道如果穿那种紧身三角裤，你的“印度三角饼”会发生什么。
Can we please stop talking about my testicles? Sheldon, tell them what you did.
能不能别提我的睾丸？谢尔顿，告诉他们你做了什么。
What did I do?
我做了什么？
You left with his date. Friends don't do that to each other.
你拐跑了他的对象，朋友之间不能这样
All right, noted. Sorry.
好吧，知道了。对不起。
Sorry? That's all you can say is sorry?
对不起？你就说一个对不起完事？
Take it, Raj. It's more than I've ever gotten.
接受吧，Raj，我连一句对不起都没收到过。
And may I point out, she wouldn't have asked me to go with her, if you hadn't been drunk and boring.
我能否指出，她本来不会跟我走，如果你不是喝醉了又无聊
Drunk? And boring — her words.
喝醉？还有无聊，她的原话
I knew it. He moves to america and he becomes an alcoholic.
我就知道！他去了美国变成酒鬼了
I'm not an alcoholic.
我不是酒鬼！
Then why were you drunk?
那你为什么喝醉？
It was just this one time, papa, I swear.
就这一次，我发誓爸爸。
Are you in denial? Do we have to come over and do an intervention?
你现在是属于否认阶段？我们要不要来帮你做心理治疗？
Don't embarrass him in front of his friends.
别让他在朋友面前落面子。
All right. Carry us outside. We want to talk to you in private.
好吧，带我们出去，我们要私下谈
But, papa, please ... now, Rajesh! I have to go.
爸爸别……马上Rajesh！我出去一下
Now, listen to me ... at least wait till I get into the hall.
你给我听好……至少等我走到走廊里
Okay, well, good night. Hold on. What happened with you and Lalita?
好吧，晚安。等等，你和拉丽塔怎么样？
We ate, she lectured me on the link between gum disease and heart attacks, nothing I didn't already know, and I came home.
我们吃饭，她告诉我牙周病和心脏病有关，都是我早就知道的东西，然后我回家。
So you're not going to see her again?
你要和她再见面吗？
Why would I see her again? I already have a dentist.
为什么要和她再见面？我已经有牙医了
I wonder who's going to tell his parents they're not having grandchildren?
谁来告诉他的父母永远都抱不上孙子了？
To life, to life, l'chaim l'chaim, l'chaim, to life.
敬生命敬生命我致敬，我致敬我致敬敬生命，
life has a way of amusing us blessing and bruising us drink, l'chaim, to li ... fe.
生活给我们欢笑，有福有祸干杯，我致敬敬生命
I don't believe it. What's gotten into him?
不敢相信，他中了什么邪？
Maybe a couple virgin cuba libres that turned out to be kind of slutty. You did it. Hey, you do your experiments. I do mine.
也许一点圣洁古巴利布瑞酒让他变得淫荡了。你不是吧。你们做你们的实验，我做我的。
