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All these years, I've been so wrong.
这么多年来 我都一直在犯一个严重的错误
The tinier the train, the more concentrated the fun.
原来火车越小越好玩
You're a brain scientist.
你是个脑科学家
Can you explain to me why a brilliant man likes playing with toy trains?
你可不可以给我解释一下 为什么这么聪明个人却喜欢玩玩具火车呢
Not without cutting his head open, no.
我必须把他的大脑切看研究一下才能回答你
How about making my eyes like Cleopatra?
把我的眼睛化成埃及艳后怎么样
Really? For a wedding?
真的吗 就为了参加个婚礼
Perhaps you're right.
也许你说得对
My cheekbones and beckoning pelvis already have a certain "hello sailor" quality to them.
我的颧骨和我那诱人的骨盆 对他们来说就已经够具冲击力的了
Ready.
准备好了吗
So handsome.Like James Bond.
帅爆了 就跟007一样
He's better than James Bond, because he's tinier.
他比007还给力 因为他更迷你
I got you this to give to me.
给 把这个给我戴上
Oh, sweetie, guests don't normally wear corsages to a wedding. That's more of a prom thing.
亲爱的 宾客参加婚礼 一般不戴胸花 去毕业舞会才戴
I never went to my prom. My mom paid my cousin to take me, but he just used the money to buy drugs.
我没去我的毕业舞会 我妈付钱给我表哥让他带我去 但他用那钱买毒品去了
Put the corsage on her.
快帮她戴上胸花
Amy, this is for you.
艾米 这是为你准备的
When you're done copping a feel, that goes on my wrist.
你意思意思就好 回头我还是戴手腕上
All aboard!
全员上车
It's official.I'm an H-O trainiac.
我正式宣布 我现在是HO火车爱好者了
So, dinner went nice.
晚餐进行得还不错
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
我想是吧
Does your mother always cut your meat for you?
你妈妈一直给你切肉的吗
Only when it's fatty.
只是切肥肉而已
Well, don't be jealous, babe.Someday you'll get to cut it for me.
别吃醋 宝贝儿 以后你也能给我切
Bernadette!I found the extra head for the Waterpik if you want to use it!
伯纳黛特 我又找到一个洗牙器刷头 你要用吗
I'm okay, Mrs. Wolowitz.
不用了 沃罗威茨夫人
You sure?!I just squirted half a brisket outta my teeth!
你确定吗 我刚洗出来半块胸肉
Hey, Ma, how about a little privacy?!
老妈 留点私人空间好吗
Oh, I know what that means!Hubba-hubba!
唔 我懂的 甚好甚好
Oh, God.
老天
Relax, it'll be fine.
别担心 会没事的
Okay.
好吧
Let me know when you're done canoodling!
你们亲热完了和我说一声
Mommy needs a foot rub!
到时给你老妈子搓搓脚丫子
Would you like to dance?
你想去跳舞吗
No, thank you.I'm really not much of a dancer.
不用了 我真不是个擅长跳舞的人
You're not exactly winning any trophies as a conversationalist, either.
那这么说来你在健谈方面 也失败的很
I'm sorry.
不好意思
The bride and groom seem happy.
新娘新郎看起来很开心
Why shouldn't they be?
他们当然开心了
They have a feverish night of socially-approved copulation ahead of them.
他们马上就可以进行 社会公认的激情交配之夜了
In some cultures, we'd stand outside of their bedroom cheering as they achieved orgasm.
在某些文化习俗里 我们要站在洞房外 欢呼他们达到高潮
That sounds like a late night,and I have work in the morning, so...
这听起来要搞到很晚 而我第二天一早要工作 所以...
Leonard, you may not have noticed,but I am being a delight here.
莱纳德 也许你没注意到 但我在努力逗你开心
And you're not holding up your end of the evening.
而你却觉得待不下去了
Oh, sorry. This wedding just reminds me of my kinda-sorta girlfriend 9,000 miles away.
不好意思 只是这场婚礼让我想起 我那所谓的远在天边的女朋友
I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend who's playing with a model train right now,you don't hear me bitching about it.
我那个所谓的男朋友 现在正沉迷于玩具火车中 我还没跟你吐槽呢
Leonard, a word of advice-- moody self-obsession is only attractive in men who can play guitar and are considerably taller than you.
莱纳德 友情提示一下 装忧郁只适合那些玩吉他 跟身高比你有优势的男生
I'm not moody. I'm fun.
我不忧郁 我很风趣
You have any evidence to support that statement?
那你有什么证据证明吗
Well, hey, I'm just as much fun as you are.
我就和你一样风趣
Really? Are you willing to draw a mustache on your finger as a conversational icebreaker?
是吗 你会在手指上画个小胡子用来活跃气氛吗
I am.
我就会
Okay, fine, what do you suggest?
好吧 你有什么建议
We just had a lovely meal,the band... is on fire...
我们刚刚大吃了一顿 而现在乐队正嗨得火热
and you're sitting next to a beautiful woman wearing whorish makeup.
你旁边是位漂亮的女士 还浓妆艳抹地涂得像个妓女
Why don't we head out on the dance floor
我们干嘛不去跳个舞
and see if I can sweat through these dress shields.
看我能不能跳得一身湿
Once again, I-I'm really not much of a dancer.
再强调一下 我真的不擅长跳舞
Don't worry...I'll lead.
别担心 我来领舞
("The Chicken Dance" playing)
著名的"小鸡舞"
Howard?
霍华德
Ready for bed?
准备好觉觉了吗
No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother's been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.
没有 我要刷牙 但你妈妈 已经霸占了厕所快一个小时了
Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on.
嗯 她有时候那方面的确有点困难 等下
Ma, give up!Tonight's not your night!
妈 放弃吧 今晚你没戏了
You don't know that! I just sat down!
你怎么知道 我才刚坐下
Come on, take a break!Bernadette needs to brush her teeth!
得了 歇会吧 伯纳黛特要刷牙
She can come in and brush her teeth!I'm not embarrassed!
她可以进来刷牙啊 我又不介意
Problem solved.
问题解决了
No, it's not. I'm not going in there.
才没有 我才不要进去
Oh, come on, honey.
没事的 亲爱的
She's just sitting in there reading a magazine. You can't see anything. I go in all the time.
她只是坐那看杂志罢了 你什么都看不到的 我向来都是直接进去的
Ha! The eagle has landed!
哈哈 "鹰"总算降落了
And we have splashdown.
人类首次登陆月球时发出的报告：鹰已降落 而且是降落在"大海"中
Wait here, I'm gonna go light a candle.
稍等下啊 我去点蜡烛
And then we make passionate love.
然后我们来激情爱爱
There we go, last floor.
快了 马上到了
I just can't figure out what happened.I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out,I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.
我真不明白怎么回事 我把左腿放进去 再拿出来 再放进去 然后什么东西就噼啪乱响
The hokey pokey is a young man's game.
变戏法不适合你这老胳膊老腿了
I did have a great time.Thank you for reminding me it's okay to have fun once in a while.
今晚真的很开心 谢谢你提醒我 偶尔找找乐子也是可以的
You're welcome.And also for breaking the head off the ice swan so I could hold it against my pulled groin.
不客气 再谢谢你掰下冰天鹅的头 让我敷着拉伤的腹股沟
I excel at spatial reasoning,and I had a hunch that the graceful slope of its neck would cradle your genitals nicely.
我擅长空间推理 当时预感到天鹅脖子那优美的弧度 能恰好做你生殖器的支架
Well, okay. Again, thank you.
明白 再次感谢
And again, you're welcome.
再次不用谢
Want to come in, have a cup of tea?
想进来喝杯茶吗
No, thanks. I'm gonna head home.
不用了 谢谢 我该回家了
'Kay. Well, good night.
好吧 晚安
Good night.
晚安
Ames, hi. How was the wedding?
小米 嗨 婚礼怎样
Great. Until I accidentally made Leonard fall in love with me.
棒极了 直到我不小心让莱纳德爱上我
Come in, let's talk.
进来吧 我们得聊聊
Do you want a glass of wine?
想来杯酒吗
Wine is one of the reasons I'm in this fix.That and this dang pelvis.
酒就是我陷入此困境的罪魁之一 还有个祸首就是这该死的骨盆
Okay, I'm sorry, what exactly happened?
好吧 抱歉 到底怎么回事
The inevitable--he was lonely and vulnerable from missing his girlfriend,while I was charming, supportive and, let's face it, in this dress,the perfect combination of Madonna and whore.
这是不可避免的 他思念女友 孤独又脆弱 而我迷人又支持他 还有 面对现实吧 穿着这身裙子 我就是麦当娜和浪女的绝妙组合
Oh, God, did he make a move on you?
天哪 他对你下手了吗
No, but it's only a matter of time.
没 但这只是时间问题
How could I have not seen this coming?
我怎么会没早料到呢
Now I'm gonna have to break the little sad sack's heart.
现在我得伤了这小糊涂虫的心了
Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay.
没事 我相信他挺得过去
Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that the two of us had been defiled by the same man, Leonard just doesn't get my motor running.
佩妮 我最多只是知道 我们俩被同一个男人玷污了 莱纳德完全提不起我的性致
So, um, what are you gonna do?Do you want me to talk to Leonard, let him down easy?
那你想怎么做呢 你想让我去告诉莱纳德 让他好受点吗
No. I'll let him have tonight.
不 就让他痴心妄想一晚吧
Then in the morning,I'll send him an e-mail letting him know this body is never gonna be his wonderland.
然后明天早上 我会给他发电邮 让他知道 这具身体无法成为他的极乐仙境
I mean, frankly, you've got a better shot than he does.
老实说 你的机会还比他大呢
Leonard.Check it out.I bought an N-gauge locomotive.Half the size of H-O.
莱纳德 快看 我买了辆N轨距火车 N轨距：比例1:160 轨距9mm HO轨距的一半 HO轨距：比例1:87 轨距16.5mm
Look, it fits in my mouth.
看 正好能放我嘴里
Sounds like you had a great night.
看来你今晚过得很愉快
I did.
没错
How was yours?
你呢
Not bad.I had a lot more fun with Amy than I thought I would.
也不错 跟艾米在一起比我预想的更有乐趣
What exactly do you mean by that?
你这样说到底指什么
Well, it turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time.
事实证明 她的确懂得怎样帮助男人放松和愉悦
Although, truth be told, my groin's a little worse for wear.
虽然老实说 我下阴被磨损了点
Ah...Why did you do that?
你干嘛啊
To send a message: she is not for you.
我是要告诉你 她不属于你
What?
什么
Not for you!
她不属于你
Good morning, handsome.
早啊 帅哥
Morning, Mom.
早 妈妈
It's me.
是我
Yes, it is, and you're so pretty in the morning.
没错 是你 你早上真漂亮
Your mom and I made you breakfast.
我和你妈妈做了早餐
So you guys are getting along?
你们俩相处得不错吗
Yeah, I guess.
差不多吧
We're very different people, Howard,so communication's a little tricky.
霍华德 我们俩是不同类型的人 交流起来需要点技巧
Does he like the pancakes?!
他喜欢薄烤饼吗
He didn't try them yet!
他还没吃呢
Is there any butter?
有黄油吗
It's butter-flavored syrup.
这是黄油味糖浆
So, what's the word?!
你们在说什么
He wants butter!
他要黄油
It's butter-flavored syrup!
那是黄油味糖浆
I just told him that!
我刚跟他说了
I don't need any butter.
我不用黄油了
If you want butter, I'll get you butter.
你要黄油 我就给你去拿黄油
Well, I guess I'll cut these by myself.
看来哥只能自己切了
