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"The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door.You manage to open it only to find yourself" "Face to face with a hideous, foul smelling,moss covered ogre."
你设法打开门 结果发现自己 通往地下城的入口是一道布满苔藓的大门 布满苔藓的食人魔 面对着一个丑陋恶臭
What do you do?
你该怎么做
I say, "Hey, Ma, what's for dinner?"
我会跟他说"老妈 今晚吃点啥呢"
Seventeen.
十七点
The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass.
食人魔被你的玩笑打动 允许你进入了
By the by, I liked it, too.
顺便说一句 我也喜欢
How go the wedding plans, Howard?
婚礼筹备得如何了 霍华德
Great. We spent five hours last night at Macy's registering for gifts.Looks like I'm finally going to have that darling little earthenware asparagus dish I've always wanted.
很好啊 我们昨晚花了五小时 在梅西百货挑选礼物 看上去我终于能够品尝到我那梦寐以求的小巧可爱的陶盘芦笋菜肴了
See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9,000 miles away.
看吧 这就是 女友远在天边的好处了
I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
我起码可以在晚上为所欲为
You mean like playing nerd games with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?
你指的是跟我们玩完书呆子游戏后 再去冲个可疑的长时间热水澡吗
Maybe.
也许吧
We enter the dungeon.
我们进入了地下城
You see a dragon.
看见了一条龙
Really? So we're playing Dungeons & Dragons and we walk into a dungeon and see a dragon?
不是吧 我们玩的这叫《龙与地下城》 然后进入地下城就看见一条龙
Isn't that a little on the nose?
不觉得有点太直接了吗
When you play Chutes and Ladders, do you complain about all the chutes and all the ladders?
当你玩梯子滑道游戏时 你抱怨过 所有的滑道和梯子吗
Are you gonna eat that whole pie?
你要把整个馅饼都吃了吗
Maybe. Why not?Who do I have in my life to watch my figure for?
也许吧 为啥不行 我的人生又有谁值得去为之奋斗呢
Oh, God, did you watch Bridget Jones again?
天哪 你是不是又看了一遍《BJ单身日记》
No, it's just that everybody's got someone.
不是啊 因为大家都有了归属
Sheldon's with Amy, Howard's getting married,
谢尔顿和艾米在一起 霍华德要结婚了
you're dating my sister.
你在跟我妹妹约会
Now that Howard's getting married,maybe he'll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you.
既然霍华德要结婚了 他可能会在众多充气娃娃中 挑一个前女友送你
You know who I blame for my loneliness?
你知道我的孤独是谁的错吗
The United States of America.
就是美利坚合众国
Your movies and your TV shows promised streets paved with beautiful blonde women with big bazongas.
你们的电影和电视剧承诺这里的街道 满是漂亮的金发巨乳美女
Eat another pie, you'll have your own bazongas.
再吃个馅饼 你就能拥有自己的巨乳了
That's cruel.You know it goes straight to my hips.
你太伤人了。你知道我的肥肉只会长在屁股上
Gentlemen, please focus.You're facing a fire breathing dragon.
先生们 请专心点 你们现在面对着一条喷火龙
I don't know if I want to play anymore.
我不想玩下去了
Because you don't have a girlfriend?
就因为你没有女朋友吗
Well, good Lord,if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons,this game's in serious trouble.
我的亲娘七舅老爷 如果因为这就不玩《龙与地下城》那这游戏算走到头了
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
Now, I assume we use this same wax later on to neaten up each other's bikini regions.
等会儿我们还用这些蜡剂 来互相清理我们的比基尼部位(比基尼部位:女性的三个隐私部位)
Yeah, my bikini region is fine.
我的比基尼部位很干净
Who's shocked? I'm not.
谁震惊到了 我没有
So, Bernadette, how's the wedding planning going?
伯纳黛特 婚礼筹划得怎样了
And I'm not asking as a prospective bridesmaid.Pick me! Pick me!
我这么问可不是想成为伴娘候选人哦 快选我吧 选我吧
We went cake tasting yesterday.Raj came along.
我们昨天去试吃婚宴蛋糕了 拉杰也来了
He cried and ate half the samples.
他痛哭流涕 还吃掉一半的蛋糕样品
Oh, the poor guy's so lonely.We should set him up with someone.
那可怜的家伙太孤独了 我们应该给他找个伴儿
You know, I met a really cute girl at work.She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials.
我工作时遇到了个可爱的女孩儿 她嫁给了我们那儿一位药品临床试验者
Well, hello?She's married.
喂 她都已婚了啊
Yeah, but her husband is in serious congestive heart failure,and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group.
是啊 但她老公目前 处于充血性心脏衰竭状态 据称 他现在已经被安排到安慰剂组了(安慰剂：并不能使病人得到有效治疗，但却"预料"或"相信"治疗有效，而让病患症状得到舒缓)
Okay, so future grief stricken widow is the one to beat.
好吧 未来又多一位悲伤的寡妇 亟待他人的抚慰了
Are we ready to order?
我们准备点菜了吗
One moment.
稍等
I'm conducting an experiment.
我现在正在做一个实验
With Dungeons & Dragons dice?
用《龙与地下城》的骰子吗
Yes. From here on in, I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice,thus freeing up my mind do what it does best enlighten and amaze.
是的 从这刻起 我决定以后不重要的决定都通过掷骰子决定 这样可以为我的头脑腾出时间做它最擅长的事儿:启迪思维 震惊世界
Page 14, item seven.
第14页 第7条
So, what's for dinner?
那么我们到底吃什么
A side of corn succotash.
一份豆煮玉米
Hmm. Interesting.
真有意思
Um, Howard, can I see you for a minute, please?
霍华德 我能找你有点事儿吗
I don't want to show any more of your friends how I can fit in the booster seats.
我不想再给你的朋友们表演我是如何坐进幼儿加高座椅里了
Uh, no, that's not it. Just come with me, please.
额 不是让你做这个 请跟我来吧
Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with.
我们看看喝点什么来配豆煮玉米
A pitcher of margaritas.
一大壶玛格丽特鸡尾酒
Do you really want that?
你真想这样吗
That's the great thing.It doesn't matter.My mind is freed up to think about more important things.
这才是最精彩的地方 选什么无所谓 我的头脑能够有更多时间思考更重要的事情
What's it thinking about now?
那你的头脑现在想什么呢
Hamburgers and lemonade.
汉堡和柠檬水
Um, Raj, there's someone I want you to meet.This is my friend Emily. I know her from my spin class.
拉杰 我这有个朋友想介绍给你认识 这是我的朋友艾米丽 我在健身课上认识的
Raj, relax. She can't hear you. She's deaf.
拉杰 淡定 她听不见你说什么 她是聋人
Emily, this is our friend Raj.
艾米丽 这是我们的朋友拉杰
Look at you guys just hitting it off.I am so good.
看你俩多合得来呀 我真是超级红娘
Hi.
你好
She says, "it's nice to meet you""
她说"很高兴认识你"
Does she really mean that or was she signing it sarcastically?
她是认真的 还是在损我呀
Raj says it's nice to meet you, too.
拉杰说他也很高兴认识你
She says she has to go back to her family,but Penny has her number if you want to text her and get together.
她说她得回去陪家人了 但你若想发短信给她 约她出来聚聚的话 你可以找佩妮要她的电话
Okay, I'm going to play it cool.Tell her, "Maybe. Whatever, babe."
好吧 我决定扮酷 跟她说"再说吧 到时候再看 宝贝儿"
He'll text you.
他会发短信给你的
Look at that. I have a date.
瞧瞧 我有约会了
I love America again.
我又开始热爱美国了
And now for dessert...Come on, hot fudge sundae, come on, hot fudge sundae.
现在到甜点了 拜托 朱古力新地 我要朱古力新地
Bam! That's what I'm talking about!
哦耶 这就对了
Okay, as soon as she gets here,so she knows I'm cool with it,I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf.
好吧 等她一到 为了让她知道我不介意她听不到 我要就她的耳聋开个玩笑
I was thinking, "Hey, did you hear the one about...? Oh, no, I bet you didn't."
比如说 嘿 你听说过那个什么没有 对哦 我忘了你听不见了
Maybe we should revisit your lonely fat guy plan.
你还是老老实实当回你的单身肥男好了
Oh, she's here.
她来了
No joke.
别开玩笑
She says she's sorry she's late.
她说她很抱歉来迟了
Tell her it doesn't matter.
跟她说没关系
Tell her, her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens.
跟她说她的眼睛就像是天女宫 湖中乳白色百合一样闪烁
Really?That's the first thing you want to say?
真的吗 你一上来就要说这句话吗
I worked on it all night. Use it.
我想了整晚了 就这么说
Look, I don't know the sign for opalescent.
我不知道"乳白色"的手语
Then spell it.
那就拼出来给她看
I don't know how to spell it.
我不会拼
You're blowing this for me!
你就非要给我搞砸了
He likes your eyes.
他喜欢你的眼睛
You're making me sound like a caveman.
这下好了 我听上去就像是个山顶洞人
She says, "Thank you. You have nice eyes, too."
她说 "谢谢 你的眼睛也很漂亮"
Really? Ask her how many children she wants,and whatever number she says, say, "Me, too."
真的吗 问她想要几个孩子 不管她说多少 你就说"我也是"
No.
不要
Fine. Tell her I have a deep, sexy voice like James Earl Jones.
好吧 那就跟她说 我的声音低沉性感 就像詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯一样(美国影星 曾给《狮子王》中老国王配音)
She doesn't know what James Earl Jones sounds like.
她哪知道詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯的声音什么样啊
Great. Then she won't know I'm lying.
正好 那她就不会知道我在骗人了
Let's see, what else can I tell you about me that would make you like me?
让我想想 我还能跟你说点我的什么来让你喜欢我呢
Ooh, I love music.
我热爱音乐
Do you love music?
你喜欢音乐吗
You really want to ask her that?
你真的要问她这个吗
You're right. Everyone loves music.
也对 是人都热爱音乐啦
She says, "Do you play an instrument?"
她问 "你会弹奏乐器吗"
No,but when I was six years old,I tried to start a boy band called Frankie Goes to Bollywood.
不会 但是我六岁的时候 曾经想要成立一个男生乐队叫"法兰基到宝莱坞"(模仿Frankie Goes To Hollywood英国老牌乐队)
But I couldn't get any other boys to join,so my parents asked the servants to be my backup dancers.
但是我找不到其他男生肯跟我组队 于是我父母就只好叫我家的仆人 来做我的候补舞者
Wait, when you sign "servants",don't sign it like I'm bragging.Sign it in a way that I sound humble with just a hint of "That's right, I had servants."
等一下 你比划"仆人"的时候 别比划得好像我在炫耀一样 要比划成我很谦虚 同时又透露出"没错 我有仆人"那种感觉
Do you hear yourself?
天啊 你还真是满嘴胡话呀
Yes, but she doesn't. So get signing, hand monkey.
怕啥 反正她又听不见 快比划呀 长臂猿
I think I wrote a letter to Santa Claus every day.And then on Christmas morning,under the tree is a little puppy with a red ribbon.
我每天都给圣诞老人写一封信 终于到了圣诞节的早上 我在圣诞树下找到一只 系着红缎带的小狗
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
Texting Bernadette that I'm gonna be late.
给伯纳黛特发短信 告诉她我今晚要晚点回去
Dude, what is she saying?
哥们儿 她说什么呢
It's a funny story about a puppy.Just smile and laugh.
她在讲一个关于狗狗的搞笑故事 你就跟着笑就对了
Quick, quick, stop smiling.
好了 好了 不要笑了
What? Why?
怎么了
The puppy died it choked on a doll head. Sad face, sad face!
小狗后来死掉了 它吞了一个娃娃的头 表情悲哀 表情悲哀
It's a little hard to see with the city lights,but that W shaped constellation is Cassiopeia.
在城市闪耀的灯火下有点看不清楚 但是那个W形状的星座就是仙后座
And she was the mother of Andromeda who's over there.
旁边的是仙女座 也就是仙后座的女儿
Look, pretty stars.
看呀 一闪一闪亮晶晶
This is her car.
这是她的车
She hopes she can see you again sometime.
她希望下次能再见你
Good, good.Oh, boy,help me out here.
好呀 好呀 天啊 帮我一下
Does she want me to kiss her or not?
她想不想让我吻她
I speak sign language, I don't read minds.
我只会打手语而已 又不会读心术
If you were me, would you kiss her?
如果你是我的话 你会不会吻她
Yeah, but I'm a make out king.
会 但哥是调情高手呀
I was so smooth on that date.
哥真是太会泡妞了
You? I made you smooth.
就你 是我帮你泡的好不好
You were an idiot.
你就是个蠢货
Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
随便你咋说 反正她亲的是我
It might've been on your lips,
也许她亲的是你的嘴唇
but it was my kiss.
但其实她亲的是我
Oh, fine. Let's agree she kissed both of us.
好吧 那就当她亲了我们两个
Okay.
成
