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Did he say what it was about?
他有说是什么事吗?
No, and I tried to get him to tell me.
没有，我试图让他告诉我
He said he'd only speak to you.
但他说只想和你谈
Well, I've got the weeks coming in.
可是，我这个星期都安排满了
They're fighting over the Nantucket house again.
他们又在为楠塔基特岛的房子而争吵了，(楠塔基特岛位于美国马萨诸塞州沿海)
He says he'll only speak to you.
他说只想和你谈
Dwight, how are you?
德怀特你好吗?
Oh, not good, Shirley.
不是那么好雪莉
Why? Jeanie is leaving me.
为什么?珍妮要离开我了
What? Why?
什么?为什么?
And she's trying to have the marriage annulled.
而且她正试图抹杀整个婚姻的存在事实
That's ridiculous, not to mention impossible.
那很荒谬，而且不可能
You've been married over 20 years.
你们已经结婚20多年了
She just wants it all erased
她就是要把一切都抹去
as if, as if I never existed, I guess.
就像，就像从来没有发生过
Why? What's gotten into her?
为什么?她发生什么事了?
Well, it's more of what I've gotten into, I suppose.
那个，事实上，是我发生了点事
I strayed.
我有了外遇
You?
你?
Well, I, I can't pretend I'm not shocked.
好吧，我不能假装我不吃惊
Even so, infidelity isn't grounds for annulment.
就算是那样，也没有理由废除你们的婚姻啊
There's something you're not telling me.
你有事瞒着我
I strayed with Wendy.
我和温迪，好上了
You've met Wendy.
你见过温迪的
Wendy...
温迪...
Your cow?
你的?母牛?
We became very close.
我们变得很亲密
One night, I'd had a bit to drink, I suppose.
有一天晚上，我想我喝多了
Jeanie and I had been a little estranged, and...
而且我和珍妮，有一点疏远，所以...
You strayed...
你和一头畜生...
with livestock?
好上了?
It's not what you think.
并不是你所想的那样
It was all very loving. I know Jeanie.
它实在是很可爱，我了解珍妮
She's gonna try and make me out a big sicko.
她想试图证明我是个疯子
Geez.
咝?
Obviously, I made a mistake,
很明显，我犯了一个错误
but I've been a good husband for 23 years,
但是我23年来一直都是一个好丈夫
a deacon at our church, a model philanthropist,
教堂中的执事，一个模范慈善家
a respected professor at a major university,
一所大学里德高望众的教授
a town selectman, even.
我甚至还是镇里面管理委员会的成员
You sleep with one cow.
你和一头牛睡觉
Please don't make sport.
请别嘲笑我
And don't make light.
也别鄙视我
I don't want to lose my wife.
我不想失去我的妻子
You cannot turf this one to me.
你不能把这个案子丢给我
Shirley... Oh, but I can.
雪莉...噢，我当然可以
Look, I can defend almost
看，我可以为任何人
anyone against almost anything but...
辩护任何事情，但是...
growing up, I had a cow.
我原来养过一头牛
You? Not sexually. As a pet.
你??别乱想，是我的宠物
Bumpy.
叫做Bumpy
I had dogs, cats, a tree frog, but...
我养过小猫，小狗，树蛙，但是...
Bumpy
Bumpy.
I cherished that animal.
是我最喜欢的动物
To think what Dwight...
一想到德怀特...
I can't go there, Denise.
我不能接这个案子丹尼斯
What makes you think I can?
为什么你认为我可以呢?
You're being asked to.
我要你接
The name of this firm is Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
这间事务所的名字是Crane Poole and Schmidt
I'm Schmidt.
我是Schmidt
Shirley, please, I am begging you.
雪莉别，我求你了
Someone's got to do it, Denise
总得有人去接丹尼斯
Can't be me.
不可能是我
Denny Crane.
克兰·丹尼.
I don't know why I'm here.
我不知道我来这干嘛
Denny Crane. I've been summoned.
克兰·丹尼.我是被叫来的
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼.
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼.
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼.
Trial date is set for December the
审判日期定于，12月2日
2nd. We will conference a week from today.
从今天开始的1周内我们会对此案进行商讨
Denny Crane. Who the hell called, and why?
克兰·丹尼.究竟是谁叫我来的，叫我来干什么?
Oh, Denny Crane.
噢克兰·丹尼.
Ah, Mr. Crane, recall Jessel, would you, please?
克兰先生来了，请你重新传召杰塞尔
Docket number 166253, commonwealth vs Ronald Jessel.
案件编码166253联邦政府对杰塞尔·罗纳德
Mr. Crane, you've been assigned to
克兰先生，你被指派
represent one of our indigent defendants.
为我们一位请不起律师的被告辩护
Thank you for coming in.
谢谢你能来
No can do, judge.
不，我不干，法官
I beg your pardon? Indigent are poor.
你说什么?请不起律师就是穷人
Hate the poor. Can't pay.
我讨厌穷人，他们不会付钱
Mr. Crane, this isn't a request. It's a court order.
克兰先生，这不是请求，这是法院的指示
Unless you think that senior
除非你认为事务所的高级合伙人
partners are exempt from civic duty.
能够免除应尽的义务
Was it a hooker? I can do hookers.
是妓女吗?妓女我可以接受
It's a murder case. Your client is right there.
是谋杀案，你的委托人就在那边
Defense pleads guilty.
被告认罪
We accept the district
我们接受地区检察官
attorney's recommendation for sentencing.
提出的判决
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼.
Come back here this instant, or
给我回来
you will be held in contempt, sir.
不然我判你藐视法庭，先生
What did you just say?
你刚才说什么?
You will meet your client.
你必须和你的委托人商量
You will return here this
然后今天下午
afternoon to enter your plea,
回来这里抗辩
and you will give him adequate representation.
你必须遵循他的意愿来进行辩诉
He allegedly killed a 13yearold
他涉嫌杀害一名13岁的女孩
girl, hence the presence of the media.
因此吸引了许多媒体到场
He'll get highprofile representation as well.
他也有权获得良好的辩护
Go.
去吧
Hope you die.
去死吧
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼.
Hey! Kid. Front and center.
嘿，小子，过来
Bet you'd lick my shoes for a
我猜为了获得一个谋杀案件
murder case, wouldn't you, kid?
你会舔我的鞋子，对吧小子?
I would, sir.
我会的，先生
Because I like you, you won't have to lick them.
因为我喜欢你，你不必舔它们
Just dust them with your sleeve.
用你的袖子帮我擦擦就可以了
Yes, sir.
是的先生
We can't have a clown waxing
我们不能聘请一个
on about G8 and world issues.
老是把八国峰会和国际时事挂在嘴边的小丑
For god's sake, it's a children's show.
看在上帝的份上，那可是给儿童看的演出
Well, when did you fire him? Friday.
你们什么时候解雇他的?周五
He filed for the TRO yesterday.
他昨天向法院申请临时限制令
Look, this could be a public relations nightmare.
这会对我们公司的形象造成很大的影响
He's the only Zozo the station's ever had.
他可是那个独一无二的Zozo
May I help you ladies?
女士们，有什么事吗?
We're here for the assistant's position.
我们是来应征助手的
Congratulations. You're hired.
恭喜你，你被聘用了
Thank you all.
谢谢各位前来
Let's go inside.
我们进去说
Alan, you can't just do that. Alan
你不能这么做
You have to at least interview.
你起码要进行面试
Why? I have a very strong feeling about this one.
为什么?我觉得这位非常适合
Can you type?
你会打字吗?
Some. See?
还好吧，对吧?
What happened to Shirley?
雪莉呢?
Shirley likes to assign cases to the hot hand and,
雪莉想让最红的律师接手这个案子
right now I'm hot.
而现在我最红
I've known her since we were kids.
我和她算是青梅竹马了
I mean, she knows me. That's, that's why...
我是说，她了解我，这就是为什么...
Which is exactly why you
这正是你应该找其他人
should be with someone else.
接这个案子的原因
Shirley could be too close
雪莉和你太熟了
to see things objectively.
会影响到她的判断力
It's Bumpy, isn't it?
是因为Bumpy，对吧?
I had such a crush on that cow.
我也非常喜欢那头牛
That doesn't make me gay.
但那不意味着我是同性恋
Mr. Biddle, have you, um, Biddle
先生你是否，呃
Gotten counseling for this? Yes.
接受过心理辅导?是的
Yes. I'm working on it.
我有，我正在接受辅导
Look, Jeanie married me for better or worse, right?
关于那个珍妮，嫁给我到底对不对，是吧?
And for 20plus years, it's been a great marriage.
而20多年来，事实证明这是个美好的婚姻
I still love her.
我仍爱着她
I don't want to lose her.
我不想要失去她
Defense enters a plea of not guilty, your honor.
被告提出无罪的答辩，法官阁下
At this time, we would like to
而现在，我们申请
be heard on bail. This matter...
获得假释...
Hold on just a second. Where's Denny Crane?
等一下，克兰·丹尼去哪了?
I'm an attorney from Crane, Poole & Schmidt, sir.
我好像没有把这个案子
this case to Crane, Poole & Schmidt.
分派给Crane, Poole & Schmidt事务所
I assigned it to Denny
我把它分派给克兰·丹尼
Crane, counselor. Where is he?
他在哪?
He's back at the firm, sir.
他回事务所了，阁下
I asked him to do a little research.
我请他做一些调查
Are you making a joke in my
你在我的法庭上
courtroom, counsel? No, sir.
开玩笑吗，律师?不是的，阁下
Step up here, counsel.
过来，律师
Have you ever tried a case before, counsel?
你之前有接过案子吗，律师?
I won my moot court competition at Suffolk, sir.
我曾经赢得过萨克福大学的模拟法庭辩论赛，阁下
Turn around.
转过身去
What are you going to do?
你要做什么?
I asked you to turn around.
我叫你转过身去
I see members of the media here.
我看见在场有许多媒体
Some of you have video cameras.
你们当中有些人带来了摄像机
I invite you to point them this way.
请把镜头对准这边
We like to think that all are
我们都认为
entitled to a fair trial in this country,
我们国家的所有人都有权利得到公平的审判
that we have an advocacy system about truth.
我们自以为我们拥有公平正义的司法系统
But the real truth, the ugly one,
但是真相，丑陋的真相是
is that the indigent get anything but fairness.
穷人通常都得不到公平
On this side, we have a district attorney
一方面，我们的原告
with 50 homicide trials under his belt,
地区检察官手头堆积着50个谋杀案子
and here, representing the accused,
而另一方面，为被告辩护的
we have a boy who won his moot
却是一个只赢过法学院模拟法庭辩论赛的
court competition in law school.
乳臭未干的小鬼
This is how it is, people.
这就是现实，大家看
The poor get the lawyers who
穷人只能获得一个没有任何
can't get real clients of their own.
实战经验的新手律师为他们辩护
We have a system where the state
我们的制度导致了在这种情况下
matches the best and the brightest
我们总是用最好的最聪明的律师
against defense attorneys coming out of
作为原告对着毫无经验
a pool of inexperience and incompetence.
缺乏能力的被告律师
It is an insult to our notion of democracy.
这是对我们国家民主的侮辱
It makes a mockery of criminal justice.
这是对司法系统的嘲笑
I will not indulge a mockery in my courtroom.
我决不允许这种事在我的庭上发生
Turn around, counsel.
转过来，律师
Put one arm behind your back, as if it were tied.
把你的一只手放在身后，就像被绑住一样
Now stand on one leg
然后用一条腿站立
as if your client barely has a leg
就像你的委托人只有一条腿一样
to stand on with you as his counsel.
现在你就这样跳回去
Now you hop on out of here.
告诉克兰·丹尼，如果他
Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't show up to represent his client,
不亲自为他的委托人辩护
he will be jailed.
他就要去坐牢
Hop, now!
现在就去!
Clown goes up first. Why don't you take him?
小丑先开始陈述，不如你来对付他吧?
Do you have a real name on this guy?
他有名字吗?
Yeah, Robert Berrin, but
当然，Robert Berrin
he's been Zozo for 13 years.
但是他已经扮演Zozo 13年了
I figure I'll take our client on direct.
我想我就直接负责我们的委托人好了
This is atwill employment?
他们之间是任意雇佣关系吗?
Yes, but the discharge has to be in good faith.
是的，但是解雇必须要有恰当理由
He was up for a big contract bump. So
他签了一个比较大的合同，所以
my bet is they're gonna argue pretext.
我想这会成为他们的借口
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Could I steal Alan for one second?
我能和Alan，说几句话吗?
We're in a meeting, Melissa.
我们正在开会Melissa
Oh. Yeah. It's, it's just...
噢，我知道，只是...
I started thinking. I think the
我刚才在想
high of getting the job kind of...
我想是得到这份工作让我有点兴奋...
It just hit me. Um, the
你聘请人员的标准
criterion on which I was hired,
让我有点想法
and now that I am hired, I just
既然现在我被雇用了
thought that I should be clear.
我只是在想我应该明确一下
I will not be objectified.
我不想被当作是一个花瓶
I will not be ogled. If I am, I write you up.
我不接受调戏，要不我会投诉你
And no touching, no double
不要身体接触，不能说黄色笑话
entendres, no comments on what I'm wearing.
不要评论我的衣着
If I get any of that, I write you up.
要不然，我就投诉你
I'm your assistant, not your
我是你的助手
subordinate. You cross that line, I...
不是你的性奴，你越线的话，我...
I write you up.
我就投诉你
Follow the rules, we should get along fine.
如果大家都遵守这些，我们会相处的很愉快的
That's all.
我说完了
I told you to interview.
我告诉过你要面试的
I will not indulge a mockery in my courtroom.
我决不允许这种事在我的庭上发生
Turn around, counsel.
转过来，律师
Now stand on one leg,
把你的一只手放在身后，就像被绑住一样
as if your client barely has a leg
然后用一条腿站立
to stand on with you as his counsel.
就像你的委托人只有一条腿一样
Now you hop on out of here.
现在你就这样跳回去
Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't
告诉Denny Crane，如果他
show up to represent his client,
不亲自为他的委托人辩护
he will be jailed.
他就要去坐牢
Hop, now!
现在就去!
That was the scene at the courthouse this morning.
这是今天早上在法庭里发生的一幕
Channel 8 own legal analyst Mike 8
频道的法律分析员Mike Turfer
Turfer said he's never seen anything...
说他从来没有见过...
A judge says to hop, you do it?
法官说跳，你就跳?
All right, Denny, you
好了，Denny
obviously need to take over this case.
你很明显现在必须接这个案子
We can send Alan in as backup.
我们可以让，Alan，当你的副手
Denny... I don't need backup. Denny...
我不需要副手
I can handle this case. I can handle this judge.
我可以搞定这个案子，我也可以搞定这个法官
A homicide, right?
谋杀案而已，对吧?
Homicide and rape.
谋杀和强奸
Mister Rogers, Sesame street,
罗杰斯先生，芝麻街
Thomas the tank engine, the
托马斯火车头
magic school bus, oh, you name it.
神奇校车，噢，这些耳熟能详的名字，(上述均为儿童节目)
All the top children's entertainers are educators.
最好的儿童娱乐节目都是带有教育性的
He never said he'd be in costume.
他从来没有说过他会穿成这样
Always in public.
他总是在公众场合这样穿
But, Mr. Berrin, why global warming?
但是，Berrin先生，为什么要提到全球变暖?
Mainly because it's possibly the
主要是由于这可能是
number one threat to this planet,
对我们地球最大的威胁
and our country's doing almost nothing.
而我们的国家却对其无所作为
Can you do the cross?
你能做交叉询问吗?
Uh, even so, uh,
呃，尽管如此
none of this seems funny, and you're a clown.
可是这不好笑，而你是个负责搞笑的小丑
Global warming could result in a rising sea level
全球气候变暖可能导致海平面上升
that could make a huge part
这会导致地球的
of the world uninhabitable.
大部分地方都不适合人类居住
We as Americans have a responsibility.
作为美国人，我们必须承担义务
The U.S. makes up 4% of the world's population,
美国拥有着世界4%的人口
but we produce 25% of the carbon dioxide pollution,
但是我们制造了
most of any country.
世界上25%的二氧化碳
The United states is the
美国已经成为
leading cause of global warming.
导致全球变暖的主要因素
We need to take a leading
因此我们必须承担起
role in finding the solution.
解决这个问题的领导责任
Let's go. You're up.
去吧，该你了
You go.
你去
What?
什么?
No questions, your honor.
我们没有问题要问，法官阁下
What are you doing?
你在干什么?
If you want to crossexamine him, Brad, you do it.
如果你想盘诘他，你去
What's going on?
发生什么事了?
Nobody ever said he'd be in costume.
没人告诉我他穿成这样
I'm afraid of clowns.
我害怕小丑
How can anybody be afraid of a clown?
怎么会有人害怕小丑?
Keep your voice down.
小声点
Now his testimony goes uncontested.
现在他的证词占了上风
You could have crossed. I didn't prep a cross.
你应该盘诘的他的，我没有准备这部分
What's going on? He's afraid of clowns.
怎么啦?他害怕小丑
I am not.
才不是
It was strategy.
这是一个策略
Hey.
嗨
Any calls?
有电话找我吗?
Not really.
没有
Afraid of clowns, huh?
害怕小丑，嗯?
You cannot enter a plea of guilty.
你不能够就此认罪
Why not?
为什么不行?
It is your intent, sir, to
承认这些指控
plead guilty to these crimes?
是你的意愿吗，先生?
Um, no, sir.
不是的，阁下
You're not gonna take his word for it, are you?
你不会把他的话当真吧?
Come on, judge.
别这样，法官阁下
If he'd murder, he'd lie.
如果是他做的，他当然会说不是
Step up here, Mr. Crane.
过来Crane先生
Yes.
好吧
You can stop trying to get
别指望可以从
yourself off the case, counsel.
这个案子脱身了，律师
That isn't going to happen.
我不会让你得逞的
Look, judge, I can't defend a man
法官阁下，我不能够为一个
who raped and murdered a 13yearold girl.
强奸并杀害了13岁女孩的人辩护
Somebody's got to do it. Why me?
必须有人帮他辩护，为什么选我?
Because I said so.
因为我要选你
Which brings me to my second issue.
好吧，那我只能想其他办法了
Which is
是什么
You're a douche bag. I
你这个傻逼
don't do well with douche bags.
我不喜欢和傻逼共事
That won't work either.
我不吃这套
You will try this case.
你要接这个案子
All you will accomplish
你要把它打完
with this unfettered insolence
而且由于你的言行
is a jail sentence for
在案件完结后
contempt after you've tried this case.
我要以藐视法庭罪判你监禁
Do I make myself clear, Mr. Crane?
听清楚了吗Crane先生?
I can understand that she's horrified,
我可以理解她的心情
but to annul the marriage?
但是要撤销整个婚姻?
Your honor, it is so aberrant.
阁下，这段婚姻很异常
It is such an abomination. It is so abhorrent.
这个婚姻是那么的恶心，那么的令人反感
And she's just on the "A" words.
她就只会说这些陈词滥调
Let's go to "B" then.
那说点惊世骇俗的吧
Bestiality... Is not, ever
兽交...从来就
has been grounds for annulment.
不能作为撤销婚姻的理由
Mrs. Biddle, why erase the whole marriage? Biddle
女士，你为什么要抹去整个婚姻的存在?
Because it was never real.
因为它从来就不是真实的
He was always in love with her.
他爱的只是它
The cow.
那头牛
Over the last ten years or so,
过去的十年间
sometimes when we'd been
我们有时候会做下那事
together, which was never a lot,
虽然仅有几次
he'd call out her name, Wendy.
但是他总是在叫着它的名字，温迪
And before her, there was another cow.
而且在它之前，还有另外一头牛
Another cow?
另?一头?
Queenie
奎尼。
I never caught them,
虽然我从来没有抓到他的马脚
but I saw the way he looked at her,
但是他看它的那种表情...
and he would call out her name, too,
而且他也会在床上叫它的名字
and then try to cover by saying I was his queen.
然后掩饰说我是他的女皇，（queenie与女皇一词相近）
This marriage is not real.
这场婚姻是不真实的
And it hurts.
而且很伤人
Mr. Biddle, I need to hear from you. Biddle
我想听你的解释
Why? Because I do.
为什么?因为我想听
It's shocking.
真令人震惊
Tomorrow you will sit in that witness chair
明天你要坐上证人席
and tell me why I shouldn't
告诉我为什么我不能
annul this union you've so disgraced.
撤销这场被你如此侮辱的婚姻
See, if you request another lawyer, the judge...
听着，如果你要求换一个律师，法官...
I ain't requesting nothing.
我不准备换
You have to. We don't get along.
你必须换，我们合不来
I like you just fine.
我觉得你很好
You're a big lawyer with big suck.
你是一个出名的大律师
You're just what I need.
你正是我需要的
Look, I can't bring myself to defend
听着，我不能为一个
a man who killed a 13yearold girl.
杀死13岁女孩的人辩护
Oh, come on, man.
别这样，伙计
Probably did her a favor.
我是在帮她呢
What did you say? I got AIDS, Denny Crane.
你说什么?我得了爱滋，Denny Crane
She could have had a lot of suffering
我强奸了她
ahead because I really went to town.
她可能会在往后受到更多折磨
You know what I mean?
你知道我指什么吧?
She's probably lucky I ended it quick.
她也许会庆幸我提早结束了她的痛苦
Well, if you really have AIDS,
好吧，如果你真的得了爱滋
there could be other psychological
那么我们可以借你有心理问题
defenses available to us. Yeah.
来进行辩护， 没错
Like traumatic distress, insanity, perhaps.
像是受到外界的伤害，精神错乱之类的
On the other hand...
另一方面...
What the...
你想...
It was an accident.
这是意外
Oops!
噢!
Freeze! Drop it!
不许动!扔掉枪!
He came at me. I feared for my life.
他向我冲来，我的生命受到威胁
He should probably get new counsel.
他应该换一个新律师了
When's the arraignment?
什么时候进行传讯?
Paul's trying to head it off. Paul
正在试图取消它
Denny, for god's sake. Denny
看在上帝的份上
You know, Alan...
你知道，Alan...
I'm old.
我老了
And I'm not going to spend what time I have left,
所以我不会把我剩下的时间，就算是一天也好
not even a day, defending child rapist killers.
浪费在一个强奸杀人犯身上
I'd rather go to jail myself.
我宁愿坐牢
I hear you're afraid of clowns.
我听说你害怕小丑
First time in my
我第一次在我的职业生涯里
professional career I actually froze.
感到不知所措
What happened?
以前发生了什么事?
When I was 3 years old, my
我3岁的时候
mother put some decorative,
我母亲在我房间里
hideous clown face in my room.
摆放了一些可怕的小丑面具
It so terrified me.
把我吓坏了
I'd wet my bed,
我尿床了
too afraid to pass him on my way to the bathroom.
因为我不敢从它身边经过去上厕所
When I was 8,
当我8岁的时候
I was again terrorized by a clown
我再次被一场游行中的
at a parade, the very same face.
长着相同的脸的小丑吓到了
I wet myself right there in the street.
我当场在街上尿裤子了
And today...
今天...
the same face again.
又是同一张脸
I didn't dare get up for fear I'd...
我甚至不敢起身，我怕我会...
leave a puddle right in the courtroom.
当场在法院里失禁
You do have issues, don't you?
你滴了几滴出来，是不是?
Denny, this is serious. Denny
说正经的
You could be looking at real jail time.
你可能真的会被判入狱
Dwight, have you sought professional help? Dwight
你有没寻求过专业的心理辅导?
Yes.
有
My therapist, he said the genesis of my infatuation
我的医生说，我这糊涂事可能源自
could have the unconditional
我从中得到的
adoration and acceptance I get from...
自信和肯定...
Wendy.
从温迪那
Yes.
是的
And didn't your therapist also tell you
那么你的医生有没和你说
your love for your wife Jeanie is in play here?
你对你妻子的爱只是逢场作戏?
Yes.
有
Could you elaborate?
你能解释一下吗?
Well, Jeanie looks a little like a cow.
那个...珍妮长得有点像牛
You see?
你看
I fell in love with Wendy
我爱上温迪
because she reminded me of you.
只是因为它让我想起了你
I won't insult you, Scott,
我本不想打搅你的，Scott
by condoning Denny's actions. Denny
的确动了手
Selfdefense. But a district attorney,
正当防卫，但是作为一个社区检察官
and I know you know this because I taught you,
你应该知道，因为是我教你的
a district attorney should not bring a case
如果一个检察官缺乏
when he lacks a good faith
足够的证据定罪
belief of conviction. Hero.
他就不应该提出诉讼，英雄
Even if you could refute selfdefense.
即使你可以驳倒正当防卫的证词
Can't.
不能
No jury is going to convict him of wounding a man
没有法官会因为他伤害一个强奸
who raped and strangled a 13yearold girl.
并且杀害13岁少女的犯人而判他有罪
What message are you asking me to send, Paul?
你想我怎么做，Paul?
If a crime is popular enough, don't prosecute?
因为犯人罪有应得，我就任其由之?
You haven't got evidence.
你没有确凿的证据
It's Denny's word against the
只有丹尼和那个凶手
child rapist's. Feared for my life.
两个人在场，我的生命受到威胁
And since you broached the topic of popularity...
而且你会因此处于舆论的焦点当中...
you want to make attorney general, Scott.
我知道你想成为总检察官，Scott
One needs public support to accomplish that.
这需要得到公众的支持
How popular do you think you'll
如果你为此起诉，Denny Crane
be if you prosecute Denny Crane?
你认为这会对你的声望造成什么影响?
Denny Crane
克兰·丹尼
It's a children's show, for god's sake.
这是给孩子们看的表演，看在上帝的份上
He's a clown, and he's waxing
他只是一个小丑，但是他不停地
on about the end of the world.
提及世界末日
Did you talk to him?
你和他谈过吗?
Over and over and over.
一而再，再而三
He said he had a social responsibility.
他说他是个有着社会责任感的人
My god, we had viewers clicking
我的天，简直就像我们的观众期待着
over to Aaron Brown for a laugh.
亚伦·布朗 能够逗他们发笑一样，(Aaron Brown是CNN的著名新闻主持人)
Our show became preachy, unfunny.
我们的表演变得不好笑了，像说教一样
Ratings started to reflect it,
我们的收视率节节下滑
and we simply had to get a new clown.
因此我们必须找个新的小丑
Zozo talked about 9/11? Zozo
曾经谈及911事件?
Yes, to help children cope.
是的，帮助孩子们克服恐惧
The Columbine shootings?
哥伦比亚大学枪杀案?
Many times he discussed tragic current events.
他曾多次提及目前发生的各种惨案
So you're firing him for
你因他不理会你的反对
discussing serious subject matter,
坚持谈论严肃话题
when he's done so in the past with your approval?
而要解雇他?
There is a line.
凡事都有底线
Telling our viewers the planet is
告诉我们的观众地球就要毁灭
about to become extinct crosses it.
这种话题越过了这条线
After he told the kids to ask
因为他要求孩子们
their parents about hybrid cars,
向他们的父母推荐混合动力车
that's when he got fired, wasn't it?
然后他就被解雇了，是吗?
This has nothing to do with hybrid...
这和混合动力车没有关系...
WKNW is owned by an oil and gas company. WKNW
电视台为一家石油天然气公司所拥有
Nothing to do with our
这和我们的母公司没有关系
parent company. He wasn't funny.
他只是不够好笑
We needed a funny clown.
而我们需要一个好笑的小丑
How's it going?
进展如何?
I'm sitting here trying to come up
我坐在这里尝试做一个
with a closing to defend bestiality.
结案陈词来为兽交辩护
That's how it's going.
就这样
You don't have to defend it so much as...
你不必在这方面过多的辩护...
What's this?
这是什么?
Research.
研究报告
Do you realize that studies show
你知不知道研究表明
10 to 30% of sexually active adults
10到30%处于性活跃期的成年人
have fantasized or had some
曾经有过和动物发生关系
form of encounter with an animal?
的性幻想?
Denise, I...
丹尼斯我...
Are we ready?
准备好了吗?
All set.
好了
You don't have to treat me like a leper, Shirley.
你不要把我当成神经病，雪莉
I don't have a disease.
我没有病
Dwight, you're my friend, Dwight
你是我的朋友
and I will try to stand by you through this but,
我会支持你熬过这场官司，但是
let's not pretend you don't have a serious illness.
不要装作你没毛病
There are worse things than loving an animal.
比爱上动物更糟的事情多了去了
Really? Name three.
真的?举三个例子看看
You know, I was never gonna tell you this.
你要知道，我本来不打算告诉你这个的
When you were 13, and your parents sent Bumpy away,
当你13岁的时候，你的父母把Bumpy送走了
it wasn't to some greener pasture
那可不是送去草原上
where he'd be happier like they told you.
当然他们是这样对你说的
Bumpy went to a slaughterhouse.
Bumpy其实被送去了屠宰场
And then he returned to your freezer.
然后回到了你家的冰箱
You ate him, Shirley.
你吃了它，雪莉
So don't get so high and mighty with me.
所以，不要这样对我
You ate your precious Bumpy!
你吃掉了你最喜欢的Bumpy!
Why should I have to close?
为什么要我做结案陈词?
Why should I have done everything else?
为什么要所有东西都要我一个人做?
Exactly.
没错
You've got a connection going that...
因为你有我所没有的...
I lack.
能力
Why are you afraid of clowns? Really.
你为什么那么怕小丑?说真的
Because...
因为...
they're evil.
他们是魔鬼
And it simply isn't right
而且家长们不应该
for parents to tell their children to just...
让他们的孩子...
trust them so.
相信这一点
Did a clown ever... do anything to you?
是不是曾经有小丑对你做过什么??
No!
当然不是!
They're just...
他们只是...
evil.
魔鬼
Alan...
艾伦...
you need to close.
你必须做结案陈词
First, you have a better grip on
首先你
this whole global warming issue,
对全球变暖这个主题比较熟悉
which I tend to dismiss as...
而我对这方面...
Fuzzy math.
一窍不通
And second,
其次
at some point, every man,
某种意义上说，每个人
even the halfevolved kind,
就算是小孩子
needs to confront his fears.
也必须学会面对自己内心的恐惧
You need to stand up and deliver this closing.
你必须站起来，进行结案陈词
Will the clown be there?
那个小丑会在那儿吗?
Animal rights activists are obviously very upset,
动物保护主义者明显很愤怒
though it should be noted there is no
虽然没有证据表明
evidence that the cow ever complained.
那头牛有过任何抱怨
Your client's behavior doesn't shock you, counsel?
你委托人的行为没有让你感到很吃惊吗，律师?
Of course it does. But sex with animals?
当然有，但是和动物发生性关系?
It's hardly a new concept.
那已经不是什么新闻了
Greek literature is full of it. So is art.
古希腊的文学已经提到了它，而且作为艺术
Chagall. Picasso.
夏卡尔，毕加索
Rembrandt. They've all depicted it.
伦布兰特，这些画家都曾画过这个主题
To this day, men still dream of mermaids.
迄今为止，人们还在希望遇见美人鱼
And what woman hasn't had a friend with a halfman,
而且哪个女人没有幻想过
halfbull fantasy?
拥有一个有着野兽般体魄的朋友?
Your honor, I need you to listen.
法官阁下，我要求您倾听我的话
Look, if you intend to romanticize the idea...
如果是试图将这个事情浪漫化...
Shakespeare already did that
莎士比亚已经在《仲夏夜之梦》里写过了，(仲夏夜之梦为莎士比亚著名喜剧)
in "A midsummer night's dream."
叶芝也在他著名的诗歌《丽达与天鹅》里提过，(叶芝为爱尔兰诗人1923年的诺贝尔文学奖获得者)
So did yeats in his famous poem "Leda and the swan."
"这受惊而茫然的手指"
"How can these "push the feathered glory terrified, vague fingers" from her loosened thighs?"
"又怎能推开那侵入微张的双腿间的白羽的荣耀?"
Lord, love a duck!
天啊，爱上一只鸭子!
So did Leda.
勒达的确爱上了它
And who can forget King Kong and Fay Wray?
还有我们耳熟能详的金刚和Fay Wray
And where did Stuart Little come from?
还有，“精灵鼠小弟”呢?
Sex with a cow is outrageous.
和一头牛发生性关系是不可容忍的
It's gross.
是令人厌恶的
And it's every bit as
而且令人震惊
shocking as the plaintiff contends,
如同原告所说的一样
but it is not grounds for annulment.
但是不是撤销婚姻的依据
And if you suddenly declare that it is, watch out.
如果你因此宣布撤销婚姻，看着吧
Because there very well
那将会有更多的
may be more of this out there
更加超出我们想象的
than any of us want to believe.
此类案子出现
He cheated on his wife.
他对他的妻子不忠
She's entitled to a divorce.
她有权利要求离婚
But bestiality is not, never
但是，兽交
has been grounds for annulment.
绝对不能成为撤销婚姻的理由
By the way, in some states
话说回来，在某些国家
it's not even expressly outlawed.
这根本就不是违法行为
Of course, she's humiliated and feeling disgraced.
当然，她受到侮辱而且感到羞耻
But that doesn't change the fact
但是这不能改变事实
they had a marriage.
他们有过一段婚姻
None of this is to say we
这并不代表我们相信
believe in Mr. Crane's innocence.
克兰先生是无辜的
We don't.
我们并不相信
But we have to face the reality
但是我们必须承认
we lack a good faith
我们缺乏足够的证据
belief of securing a conviction.
来起诉他
We're therefore declining to
因此我们目前
make an arrest at this time.
并不能够逮捕他
Personally, I am disgusted by his conduct,
个人而言，我对他的行为表示愤概
and I will report his actions
而我将会向律师业监管委员会
to the board of bar overseers.
反映他的所作所为
The putz.
这个傻逼
You ought to be happy. I'm not happy.
你应该感到高兴，才不呢
He insulted me on live television.
他竟敢在电视上侮辱我
You dodged a bullet, Denny.
你避过了一场刑罚，Denny
And took one right in the ass. The putz!
可是他在我背后放冷箭，这个傻逼!
He had incorporated many
他过去多次在他的节目中
serious subjects into his programs,
加入严肃的主题
all with the station's approval.
而电视台都同意他这么做
But when he moved on to global
但是当他谈论到
warming, carbon dioxide pollution,
全球变暖，二氧化碳污染
he suddenly had to be stopped?
他就突然间被禁止了?
Because he was suddenly less funny?
因为他突然间不好笑了?
No.
不是的
Because the station was owned by Globoco oil.
因为这间电视台属于Globoco，石油公司所有
This discharge was wrongful. It was in bad faith.
这次解雇是不正当的，是不守信的
My client has built this company's
我的委托人为这间公司扮演Zozo
fortunes for 13 years being Zozo.
在13年里为他们创造了大量的财富
It is his livelihood.
这已经变成了他的生命
He's perhaps the most popular clown in this country.
他可能是这个国家里最受欢迎的小丑
And this court should issue a TRO
因此法院应该颁布临时限制令
to stop this outrageous travesty of justice.
来停止这场藐视公平的闹剧
I could be wrong, but a
我也许错了，但是
clown's main job is to be funny.
小丑的主要任务就是使人发笑
Global warming is not.
而全球变暖不好笑
Your honor, the Arctic polar ice cap is
法官阁下，北极冰川面积正以
declining at the rate of 9% per decade.
每10年9%的速度递减
We're talking about a rising sea level
我们正在谈论的是
that could wipe out huge
海平面逐年升高
pieces of the world's landmass,
正在逐步的侵蚀地球的陆地
more importantly, us.
而且与我们密切相关
Massachusetts, California, our coastlines.
麻省，加州，我们的海岸线
That simply isn't funny.
这一点都不好笑
Unless, of course, you live in Nevada.
当然，除非您住在内华达州
Don't get me wrong.
打个不恰当地比喻
Millions of Americans go to sleep at night
就好像数以百万计的美国人在每天睡觉前
praying that the nation's number one clown
都要祈祷我们国家最好的搞笑小丑
will finally start caring about global warming.
也开始担心全球变暖的问题
But this is a children's entertainment show.
但是这是一个儿童娱乐节目
And let me ask you.
我想问
If our own government is allowed to
如果我们的政府被允许
edit and alter scientific findings,
对科学发现进行编辑和修改
if it can control the
以控制这些信息的蔓延
information flow on this subject,
而引起民众的恐慌
why then shouldn't a private television station
为什么一家私营电视台
get to enjoy that same freedom?
不能够拥有同样的权力?
You're a clown.
你是一个小丑
Be funny.
你的任务是搞笑
Global warming is not.
全球变暖不好笑
In 35 years, Denny, I have
35年来，丹尼
never forbidden you to do anything.
我从来没有阻止过你做任何事
Don't start now.
那现在也别这样做
I will call the partners together right now.
我现在就召集合伙人开会
What's going on?
怎么了?
He's going on...
他要去...
"Larry King"
拉里·金现场 (CNN脱口秀节目)
What? Tonight. He's
什么?今晚
catching the 7 o'clock shuttle.
他去赶7点钟的通告
Denny, you can't be serious. Denny
你不会是认真的吧
Why does everybody insist I can't be serious?
为什么每个人都认为我在开玩笑?
The district attorney
地区检察官
slathered me on live television.
电视直播里诽告我
I think you mean "slandered."
我想你说的是"诽谤"
Well, I'll have the last word
随便，我会让他好看的
Listen to me.
听着
They could still bring charges,
他们仍然可能起诉你的
if you say something to incriminate yourself.
如果你在电视上说错话的话
Give me some credit, will you, Paul?
对我有点信心，Paul
Credit?
信心?
You shot out your client's kneecaps!
你射穿了你委托人的膝盖!
The public needs to hear from Denny Crane!
公众期待着听到兰克·丹尼的声音!
TiVo me, will you?
记得帮我录下来，好吗?
Please, god, have mercy.
上帝保佑
How could you not stop him?
你怎么不阻止他?
We tried to stop him. We
我们尽力了
tried to get you to stop him.
我们也想让你阻止他
Larry King
拉里·金
Alan, judge is back with a ruling. Let's go.
艾伦法官要宣读判决了，走吧
Tonight? Come on.
今晚?来吧
Can't you go by yourself?
你自己去不行吗?
It's just a ruling. You're doing this.
只是判决而已，你和我一起去
Disgusting.
真恶心
Regrettably, this fetish with animals
令人遗憾的是这种迷恋动物的
may indeed be more
行为的确比我们想象的
prevalent than we'd like to think.
要普遍
And it's a slippery slope.
这属于滑坡论，(滑坡论指的是裁决会对日后的其他案件的判决造成影响)
Many women derive sexual
正如许多女性会因为骑马而
pleasure from riding on a horse. Sick.
获得性快感一样，恶心
But we can't just go around annulling marriages
但是我们不能因为一个女人
every time Debbie goes for a canter. Gross.
经常骑马而撤销婚姻关系，真下流
I'm afraid your only legal recourse, Mrs. Biddle,
因此，比德尔夫人，我恐怕你能做的
is divorce.
就是和他离婚而已
Sick!
真肮脏!
We're adjourned.
休庭
Congratulations. Thank you.
恭喜你，谢谢
I may have manifested my love for
也许我对你表达爱意的方式
you in ways that brought you shame,
让你感到羞耻
perhaps revulsion,
甚至是强烈的反感
but I do love you.
但是我真的爱你
And love is hard enough to find, Jeanie,
但是珍妮 ，真爱通常要经过种种考验
without attaching a lot of restrictions.
才能够找到
"A lot of restrictions"?
"种种考验"?
It's not like I set a lot of ground rules.
我并没有设下种种障碍来
But limiting yourself to a
限制你只能喜欢
single species is one of them,
所有物种中的一种
our species, Dwight.
我们是人，德怀特
I broke it off.
我不会再这样做了
I'm gonna get rid of her.
我会远离它
I think I'd like to sell the whole farm,
我想把整个农场卖掉
move to the city, outside of all temptation.
搬到城市里住，远离它们
You broke it off?
你不再做这种事了?
Yes.
是的
You're never going to see her again?
你绝不再见它?
I promise.
我保证
Welcome back to "Larry King live."
欢迎回到"拉里·金现场"
And with me now is Denny Crane, the
和我在一起的是Denny Crane
legendary Boston attorney who just yesterday...
波士顿律师界的传奇人物...
apparently opened fire on his own client.
他昨天向自己的委托人开火
It was selfdefense. You're kidding.
正当防卫，你在说笑
Selfdefense? You're not really
正当防卫?你不会
asking people to believe that?
认为人们真的相信吧?
Larry, it's a crime to shoot people, Larry
向人开枪是犯罪
even childraping, murdering
对算面对的是一个强奸犯和杀人犯
schmucks like my client was and still is.
像我委托人那样的人渣，这也是犯罪
Okay. But clearly you're not saying
好吧，就算你没说过
if the defendant is repugnant enough, fair game,
但是如果被告罪有应得
you're entitled as a criminal
你作为他的律师有权
defense attorney to shoot someone?
开枪射他?
No, no, no. Come on.
不，当然不是，别这样
It's self, it's selfdefense.
这是自卫，正当防卫
But even if I did
但是就算我真的选择
simply choose to shoot him, which I
因此开枪射他
didn't, because it's against the law,
虽然我没有做因为是犯法的
so what?
那又怎么样?
Larry "So what"?
拉里, you "那又怎么样"?
know what the real problem is?
你知道真正的问题出在哪吗?
Too many criminals get away with it.
有太多的罪犯逃脱了法律的制裁
We got hundreds of thousands of
我们还有成千上万件
unsolved murders in this country.
待解决的谋杀案
So what you're saying is
因此你认为
it's okay for defense lawyers
作为辨方律师
To take the law into their own hands.
可以代替法律进行判决
No! Come on.
当然不是!别这样
You know what's gonna happen with
你知道这个强奸儿童的人渣杀人犯
this child rapist murdering scum?
的下场是什么吗?
Ashcroft
阿什克罗夫特。
God bless him, he's gonna swoop in,
愿上帝保佑他，他会盯上这个案子
and he's gonna transfer
把它转移到
this case to the federal court
联邦法院
so we can impose the death penalty.
以死刑告终
Denny, Ashcroft is no longer the attorney general.
丹尼...阿什克罗夫特已经不再是大法官了
Well, whatever. The Spanish guy.
随便吧，那个西班牙人大法官
Even better.
还更好
My client's gonna get the death penalty,
我的委托人会被判处死刑
bad knees and all, because he deserves it.
膝盖伤了也好，什么都好，他是罪有应得
And all the bleeding liberals and all of Hollywood
然后那些感觉自己被冒犯的自由主义者
will come running to defend
和整个好莱坞都会开始为他辩护
him, make him a cause celebre.
把他当作一个明星看待
But who's crying for the 13yearold girl?
但是有谁为那个13岁的女孩伸冤呢?
The problem with the criminal justice system,
整个司法系统的毛病就在于
the criminals have more
罪犯会得到更多的权利
rights, they have more attention,
受到更多的关注
they get more sympathy than the victims.
他们比受害者得到更多的同情
It's disgusting, Larry.
令人作呕啊，Larry
It's, it's...
这，这真是...
It's disgusting. Let's go to the listeners.
令人作呕啊，好了，让我们听听观众的看法
Hey! Donna in Cincinnati, what do you got?
你好!来自辛辛那提的Donna，你有什么要说?
And while I find that the petitioner may
我认为原告的请求
very well have a legitimate cause of action,
非常合理
I don't find such a
但是我找不到
substantial likelihood of victory
充分的根据
that would allow me to issue a TRO.
让我批准临时限制令
Accordingly, I find for the defendant.
因此，我判被告胜诉
I wish you all good luck
同时我希望你们双方好运
and a satisfactory resolution.
而且找到满意的解决方式
Adjourned.
休庭
Oh, thank you both. That's a relief.
谢谢你们，真是松了一口气
We're going to have to settle this.
我们还必须把剩下的事情处理完
We will.
没问题
Okay then. Let's go home.
那么好吧，我们回家吧
Alan
艾伦.
You have to do this.
你还有事要做
You're 44 years old.
你已经44岁了
Tell him you're a fan. Shake his hand.
去告诉他你是他的仰慕者，和他握握手
Will you go with me?
你会和我一块去吗?
Right by your side.
我会在你身边
Mr. Zozo, I, uh... Zozo
先生，我，呃...
I just wanted to say...
我想说...
how much I've always enjoyed your work.
我非常喜欢你的表演
Thank you.
谢谢
Would you like to squeeze my nose?
你想要捏我的鼻子吗?
No, no, no.
不，不用了
You've been more than kind.
你实在是太热情了
Alan
艾伦.
Well, perhaps one little squeeze.
那好吧，也许，捏一下
You waited up for me.
你一直在等我
And I've been frantic.
我快闷死了
You, out at all hours.
你这么久才回来
Did you see the show?
你看了我的节目吗?
I did.
看了
You were inimitable.
你的表演真是无与伦比
Denny, what possessed you? Denny
你当时在想什么?
Everybody's so convinced I lost it,
每个人都认为我会输
I was becoming convinced myself.
我也快被他们说服了
So I decided to sail right into it.
所以我决定不想那么多了
And I was Denny Crane.
而且我可是克兰·丹尼
Yes, you were.
是的，你是
I squeezed a clown's nose tonight.
我今晚捏了一个小丑的鼻子
Good for you.
对你而言很不错
Guess we're never too old to conquer our fears.
我想我们无论年纪多大，都可以征服内心的恐惧
I got a call from the
我今晚接到一个电话
Republican national party tonight.
是共和党方面打来的
They think I might have a future in politics.
他们认为我也许很适合从政
They want to put some feelers out.
他们想让我尝试一下
Maybe me running for mayor.
也许让我竞选市长
Of Boston?
波士顿市长?
We wouldn't get to be flamingos again.
那我们就不能在一起扮火烈鸟了
Of course we would.
我们当然可以
What would you do as mayor, Denny, really?
你当了市长后想干些什么Denny，说真的?
Oh, I don't know. I'd, uh...
哦，我也不知道，我，嗯...
attack Rhode island.
也许会去攻打罗德岛
It's small.
那个地方很小
What was the word you used to
你刚才用来形容
describe me on the show tonight?
我今晚表现的词是什么?
Inimitable. That's it.
无与伦比，没错
That's the kind of mayor I would be.
我要做这样一种市长
Inimitable.
无与伦比
It's fun being me.
做我真有趣
Is it fun being you?
做你有趣吗?
Most of the time, yes, actually.
事实上，绝大多数时候，是的
Well, what else is there?
很好，那就够了
Indeed.
确实
