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Step 1: worms. Ew!
第一步：虫子。恶心死了
Okay, right there, "ew" is one of the things you're not gonna want to say in front of your fatherinlaw.
打住"恶心死了"这句话你绝对不能再你岳父面前说
It's right up there with "icky" and "get it away." Now pick one up. Really?
一样娘的还有"真讨厌"和"快拿开"这两句。拿条虫子起来。真的假的
You're gonna have to do it when you're fishing. Okay.
你钓鱼的时候就得这么做。好吧。
What are you waiting for? I don't know, for them to die of natural causes.
你在等什么啊？不知道，等它们自然死亡了再下手抓嘛。
Just pick up a worm and put him on this hook. Fine. There.
快点挑一条虫子，然后把它弄到鱼钩上。好啦。好了
I'm no expert, but I think the hook has to go through the worm. Fine.
虽然我不是专家但这鱼钩得穿过虫子才行吧。好吧
Sorry, Mr. Worm. Sherm. Sherm the Worm. Hey, don't name him.
抱歉啦，虫子先生。舍尔曼，虫子舍尔曼先生。别给它取名字
Just jab a hook in his face. You got this, buddy.
麻利地把鱼钩插穿它脸就对了。你行的，哥们。
Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm. You can do it.
是啊，加把油，霍华德。钩穿那条虫。你行的
That's great. Cheerleadingway to man things up.
不错啊。拉拉队加油，你们仨真够"男性雄风"
"And the control group displayed significantly fewer genetic abnormalities.
"随后实验对照组显示了基因变异体的大幅减少
But, because of flaws in the experimental design relating to environment and diet, they lived inconclusively ever after."
但由于实验环境的设计和喂食环节的缺陷它们最终都与世长辞了"
The end. That was great. Rub my chest again.
剧终。故事真好听。再帮我擦擦胸口吧。
No.I need to get you down for a nap.
不行！我得让你睡会儿
For some reason, that VapoRub gets you all fired up.
不知怎么 那伤风膏让你像打了鸡血一样
How's the poor thing?
可怜的小家伙怎么样了
Oh, I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking.
我还撑着呢。谢谢你的关心
Okay, Amy, I brought you some drugs we were working on in the lab.
艾米，我给你带了点我们实验室正在研发的药。
This is proving really good for congestion, but there's a slight chance it can make your tears burn like acid, so if you take ithappy thoughts.
这种对鼻塞很有用但有很小的可能让你的眼泪有强酸的灼烧感吃了药，就求上天保佑吧。
Uh, I'm going to draw you a soothing bath.
我去帮你放一缸能放松身心的水吧
Where's your bath thermometer?
你的水温计在哪
I don't have a bath thermometer.
我没有水温计
Fine. Then I'm going to draw you a nervewracking bath of indeterminate temperature.
好吧。那我就帮你放一缸让神经紧绷的水温不明水吧。
This is a really good expectorant.
这种药的化痰功能很强
Although some test subjects reported lactating uncontrollably when they heard music.
不过有些试药员报告说她们听到音乐时会忍不住分泌乳汁
Okay, okay, here's the deal.
好了，是这么回事
I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.
我不需要你的药，我没病。
I don't understand. I got better two days ago.
我不太明白。我两天前就好多了。
It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.
但谢尔顿把我照顾得太好了 我舍不得
So you've just been lying to him?
所以你就一直骗他啊
See the stuff in my nose? Rubber cement.
看我鼻子的东西？那是胶水。
I don't mean to be judgy, but this is the kind of thing lunatics do. All right. I'll tell him.
我不是想批评你啦，但这种事不是只有疯子才会做吗？好吧。我跟他坦白
Amy, would you be strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
艾米，你有力气自己洗澡吗？还是你需要我帮忙？
I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.
我明天再坦白。老娘想好好洗个澡
Now, let's assume, by some miracle, you actually catch a fish.
现在我们假设奇迹降临你真的钓上来一条鱼
You're going to have to know how to gut it.
你得知道怎样清理内脏
So, what you're going to do is you're going to take your knife, slice him right up the belly.
所以你要做的就是拿起刀从它的肚皮上切下去
You want me to stop?
要我停下来吗
No, I'm fine. Keep going. All right.
不，我没事。你继续。好
Now, you don't want to cut too deep into its guts, or the blood will just squirt all over your face.
千万别切得太深不然血会溅得你满脸都是
Oh, my God. What is with you guys? It's not our fault.
我的天啊。你们这群阿宅是怎么回事？不是我们的错啊
Our dads never did anything like this with us. What, never?
我们的老爸又没和我们做过这些事。从来没有过吗？
My dad was an anthropologist.
我爸爸是个人类学家
The only fatherson time he spent was with a 2,000yearold skeleton of an Etruscan boy.
我们唯一的父子活动都献给那个有两千年历史的伊特鲁里亚男孩的尸骸了
I hated that kid. Mine just took me to his gynecology office.
我可讨厌那小子了。我爸只会带我去他的妇科办公室。
I got so bored, I'd put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretend I was iceskating.
我甚至无聊到把阴道润滑剂涂在鞋底然后幻想我是在滑冰
Yeah, well, my quality fatherson time was spending my adolescence looking out the window waiting for my dad to come back someday.
我小时候美好的父子时光都用来盯着窗外等我爸会不会回心转意回家来了
Yeah, okay, Howard wins.
好吧，霍华德赢了
You know, maybe we didn't have opportunities like this when we were growing up, but right now, there's a dad that wants to take you on a fishing trip.
也许我们在长大的过程中没有这样的机会但现在有位父亲真的要带你去钓鱼了
You're right. I should do this. Great. Here you go.
你说得对。我得好好学。很好。拿着
What you're going to do is you're going to stick your thumb down its throat, grab the guts and pull.
你现在要做的是把你的手指伸进它的喉咙抓住内脏往外拉
Here we go. Oh, look, it's a female. You can see all the eggs.
我要动手啦。瞧，这是鱼妈妈，快看她产的卵。
I'm walking on sunshine And don't it feel good And don't it feel good Oh, Sheldon, am I glad you're back.
在阳光下漫步感觉多么爽快感觉多么惬意。谢尔顿，你可算回来了。
Taking a turn for the worst. I think I'm going to need another bath. I'm surprised to hear that.
我又严重了。我觉得你得再帮我洗个澡，听你这么说真是意外。
See, the other day, I was concerned that you weren't recovering, so while you were sleeping, I took a cheek swab and had it cultured in the lab. Oh?
那天我担心你怎么一直没有好转所以趁你睡觉时取了你的唾液样本 到实验室进行细菌培养。是吗？
I got the results back. Have you developed any of the following symptoms?
结果出来了。你有出现如下症状吗？
A growing nose, or perhaps a warm sensation in the trouser region?
鼻子变长或是裤子区域有温热感觉？
Also known as fullblown"Liar, liar, pants on fire." All right, all right.
也就是大家熟知的"撒谎撒谎裤裆烧光"好啦，好啦。
But I really was sick at the beginning. It's just been so nice having you take care of me.
但最开始我真的病了。只是有你照顾我的感觉真是太好了。
It hurts that you would lie to me, Amy.
你骗我我会伤心的，艾米
I thought our relationship was based on trust and a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.
我以为我们的关系是建立在信任以及倾向于对我有利的相互欣赏之上
I feel terrible I did this.
我很抱歉我这么做了
It pains me to say it, but I think some form of penalty is in order, so as to discourage this type of behavior in the future.
尽管这么说我也不好受，但我觉得惩罚是必须的以防日后再出现这样的行为
I suppose that's fair. What do you suggest?
这无可厚非 那你想怎么惩罚我
In a perfect world, I'd lock you in a stockade in the public square.
在理想世界里，我会把你关在广场上的围笼里
That probably requires a permit.
那可能需要申请准证
I could not be allowed to go to the opening of the next Star Trek movie.
可以不允许我参加下一部《星际迷航》电影的首映啊
Oh, that seems overly harsh.
这惩罚也太重了
You gave in to a human weakness.You didn't kill a man.
你只是向人性弱点屈服，你又没杀人
You know, it's a tad oldschool, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.
这惩罚可能有点传统但我哥溜进我爸的卡车偷喝他的驾车威士忌时我爸奉行的是"不打不成材"
Are you saying you want to spank me? I don't want to.
你是说 你要打我屁屁吗？我也不想啊。
But it looks like you left me no choice. That's true.
但我别无选择了啊。的确是。
I've been a very bad girl. Hiho, hiho, it's off to fish we go.
我是个非常"淘气"的坏女孩。走起，走起，咱们去钓鱼
That's what you're wearing? No good?
你穿成这样啊？不行吗？
The guy at the sporting goods store said these are what fishermen wear.
体育用品店的人说钓鱼就要穿这个
Maybe in cartoons.
在卡通片里差不多
Wish I had known that before I posted all those pictures on Facebook.
真希望在上传照片到网上前就知道这点
All right, let's hit the road.
好了，出发吧
I wouldn't mind shooting some ducks in the morning.
大早上去猎几只鸭子也不错
Wait, now we're shooting things?
等等，咱们还要猎东西吗
I like using a big shell.
我喜欢用大口径的子弹
You can't eat them afterwards, but it's fun watching them blow up.
虽然之后没法吃但打爆它们很有趣
Sir, I'm flattered
先生，您邀请我一起去
that you invited me, and I really want you to like me, but...
我真是受宠若惊我真的很想让您接受我但是
I don't think this trip is the way to do it.
我想这趟行程不是什么好主意
And I can't return these things if there's chunks of duck all over them.
而且如果上面满是鸭子残骸我也退不了这身行头
So, why'd you agree to come?
那你为什么同意一起去
'Cause Bernadette made me.
因为伯纳黛特逼我去
I tried to back out, too. My wife said I had to go.
我也尝试不去。我老婆也逼我去。
Really? Your wife makes you do stuff?You're a big, scary cop.
真的吗？您老婆也逼你做事吗？您可是吓人的大个儿警察
You're an astronaut, and your wife makes you do things, and she's only four feet tall.
你是个宇航员，不也一样被老婆牵着鼻子走，而且她只是个小不点
So, what do we do now?
那我们现在怎么办
They expect us to go away for the weekend.
她们是要我们出去玩一整个周末呢
There's an Indian casino near Palm Springs.
棕榈泉附近有家印式赌场
You know how to shoot craps? No, but I'm not a stranger to dice games.I was the Temple BethEl Hebrew School Yahtzee champion. Mazel tov.
双骰会玩吗？不会，但我对骰子游戏也略知一二我是希伯来圣地庙学校的"快艇骰"冠军。恭喜恭喜（希伯来语）。
I'll teach you how to play. Really? Thank you, sir. Call me Mike. Okay.
我会教你怎么玩。真的吗？谢谢，先生。叫我麦克吧。好的
Oh, boy, we're just married to a couple of ballbusters, huh, Mike?
老天，我们真是娶了两个蛋疼女回家啊，麦克？
That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
你说的可是我的老婆和女儿
Great couple of gals. I wouldn't go that far.
她们是贤良淑德的典范，那又有点过了。
Are you prepared to receive your punishment? One second.
准备好接受惩罚了吗？等等。
I want to put on some music. Why?
我要放音乐。为什么？
I don't want to disturb the people next door while you discipline me.
你教训我乖乖听话时我不想动静太大扰邻
Very well, then. Get over my knee. Let's begin. Oh, my. Excuse me.
那好吧。趴我膝盖上，开始了。天啊，正经点。
You're not supposed to be enjoying this.
你不应该觉得享受才对
Then maybe you should spank me harder. Maybe I will.
那你要不要再打大力点，也许我会哦。
