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Is anyone else troubled by the SpiderMan theme song?
你们有人觉得蜘蛛侠的主题曲很闹心吗
Why would it trouble you?
那首怎么会让你闹心啊
It's, like, your third favorite cartoon theme song.
那不是你第三喜爱的卡通主题曲吗
It is, right behind Do dodo dodo, Inspector Gadget... and... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a halfshell Turtle power!
的确是就排在嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟G型神探以及忍者神龟背有龟壳大英雄，忍者龟力量
However, the SpiderMan lyrics posit that "SpiderMan, SpiderMan does whatever a spider can." Yeah, so?
但蜘蛛侠的歌词却唱 "蜘蛛侠,蜘蛛侠，蜘蛛能做的他都能"那又如何
I can think of many things SpiderMan can't do that a spider can.
但我能想到一堆蜘蛛能做到而他不能的事
One: crawl in your ear and die.
一：爬进你耳朵死在里面
Two: legally leave Guatemala without a passport.
二：不出示护照也能合法离开危地马拉
Three: have sex with a spider.
三：跟母蜘蛛做爱
Can we change the subject?
我们能换一个话题吗?
Spiders give me the jeebiejeebies. It's "heebiejeebies." I know, but that sounds antiSemitic.
人家铁汉怕怕蜘蛛，是铁汉"犹怕"蜘蛛。有个"犹"字感觉歧视犹太人
Anyway, I was thinking we could have a little film festival tonight.
我是在想 我们今晚可以来个小电影节
The theme: movies that killed their franchises. Like Jaws 4, Indiana Jones 4, Daredevil 1.
主题：把系列搞臭的电影，例如《大白鲨4》《印第安纳琼斯4》《超胆侠1》
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous.I mean, you know a movie's bad when my homegirl Sandy B. can't save it.
还有《特工佳丽2 火爆特工》连我的宝贝桑德拉·布洛克都救不起你就知道这烂片有多烂了
Penny's working tonight; I'm in.
佩妮今晚要工作，我参加
Not me. I'm having dinner with Bernadette and her parents.
我不行。我得跟伯纳黛特还有她父母共进晚餐
Fun. We know how much you love that. It's torture.
有意思。我们都知道你多"爱"这档事。太折磨我了
Especially with her dad. We have nothing in common.
尤其是跟她爸相处我们没有任何共同点
You know what I like to do when I'm forced to speak with those beneath my intellectual station?
当我被逼着跟智商低我太多的人聊天时你知道我都怎么做吗？
I bring up an interesting topic, like the difference between SpiderMan and spiders.
我会提出一个有趣的话题例如蜘蛛侠与蜘蛛的差别
Thanks, Sheldon. I'll try that with my fatherinlaw.
谢谢你啊，谢尔顿。我到时再跟我岳父试试
No, you can't use that one. That's mine. Uh, try this one for an icebreaker.
你不许用这话题，这是我的招试试用这个话题暖场吧
Uh, despite popular lore, there is no place in the continental United States, Alaska or Hawaii from which one can dig straight through the center of the earth and come up in China.
尽管坊间许多谣传，事实上无论从美国本土、阿拉斯加还是夏威夷你都不可能垂直挖出一条能贯穿地球穿到中国的通道
Great, thank you. Actually, you can't have that one either. It's too good. Sorry.
很好，谢谢啦。不行，这个你也不许用。这也是个好话题。抱歉啦
What about you, Sheldon? Do you have any plans tonight? Sadly, yes.
你呢，谢尔顿？今晚有任何安排吗？很遗憾，我有呢。
Amy's taking me to a memorial service.
艾米要拉我去参加一个丧礼
It's for one of her colleagues who is of Asian descent, so my planned conversational gambit is to casually remark that no matter how deep they dig his grave, he'll never make his way back to China.
是她一个有亚洲血统的同事丧礼所以我聊天时就打算不经意地提到无论他们从那人的坟挖多深下去，他永远也回不到中国
That should lighten the mood. What can I say?
这应该能让气氛"轻松不少"啊。哥就是厉害
I put the "fun" in funeral. Amy. Amy. Oh, right, funeral. Amy. Hello, Sheldon.
总能把丧事变喜事。艾米，艾米。忘了是要去丧礼。艾米。你来啦，谢尔顿
I'm not allowed to wear my Silver Surfer neck tie, but you can wear a bathrobe?
我想打银影侠的领带都不行，你却可以穿浴袍啊？
I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral. You're sick? You poor kid. Well, see ya.
我病得太厉害，去不了了。你病啦？真可怜。那我走啦
Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
谢尔顿，你不留下来照顾我吗
Me? No. No, I'm not that kind of doctor.
我吗？不啊。我是"博士生"不是"医生"
But our relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick, the other must take care of them.
但是我们的恋爱合同中明确写道其中一人若是病了，另一方就得照顾对方
Oh, I see the confusion.
我明白你的疑惑
No, the intent behind that clause was to force you to take care of me when I'm ill.
那个条款的用意是要强迫你在我生病的时候照顾我
When you're feeling better, you'll think that's funny.
等你身体好点就能理解箇中幽默了
Never mind. Good night, Sheldon. Amy. Amy. Amy.
算了，晚安吧。谢尔顿。艾米，艾米，艾米
I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this.
我曾白纸黑字地同意过要在这样的情况下照顾你
Additionally, you are my girlfriend, and I care about your wellbeing.
而且，你也是我女朋友我在乎你的幸福安康
Thank you, Sheldon. You're welcome.
谢尔顿，谢谢你。不客气。
Now let's get this over with. So, how have you been? Fine. Good. Fine is good.
那咱们速战速决吧。近来如何？还行，不错。还行就不错了
How you liking retirement? It's fine. I'm sensing a theme.
还享受退休生活吗？还行啦。这让我想到
You ever really think about the SpiderMan theme song?
您认真想过蜘蛛侠的主题曲内容吗
How's that dinner coming?
晚餐做得如何了
I just put it in. It's gonna be a while. I like rare chicken.
刚放进去烤。还得好一阵呢。我就爱吃生鸡肉
Let's do this. You could die. Death by chicken.
咱们来大快朵颐吧。会吃死人的。吃鸡吃死
That's a pretty "fowl" way to go.
挺"鸟"的一种死法啊
Here's another beer, honey. Thank you.
再给你来瓶啤酒，亲爱的。谢谢
So, Mrs. Rostenkowski,
罗斯滕科斯基太太
you took that trip to the Grand Canyon. How was it? It was good.
听说你去大峡谷国家公园玩了。好玩吗？好玩
Had no idea you were the chatty one. 102.2.
才意识到原来您是健谈的那个。102.2华氏度
Exactly what it was half an hour ago.
跟半小时前一模一样
It's like you're not even trying to get better.
好像你一点都不想好转一样
Sheldon, you don't get over the flu in half an hour.
谢尔顿，流感哪能过半小时就好啊
Well, not with that attitude.
你这种态度怎么好
I have to say, I'm finding your bedside manner a little lacking. I'm sorry.
我不得不说我觉得你对病人的态度不够耐心。抱歉嘛
I just want you to get better as soon as possible.
我只是想你能尽快好起来
And with that goal in mind, let me ask you a question.
抱着这个目标 我要问你个问题
Do you believe in the placebo effect?
你相信安慰剂效应吗？（病人虽然获得无效的治疗但却"预料"或"相信"治疗有效从而让其症状得到舒缓的现象）
Of course I do. There have been many studies proving its validity. Great.
当然相信。很多研究证明了其有效性。很好
Now, this may look like a Tic Tac... ...but it is really a powerful medication specifically designed to cure your illness as well as freshen your breath.
这可能看似是薄荷糖但它其实药效强大，还特别设计成能治疗疾病的同时帮你清新口气
Sheldon, this isn't helping. Why don't you just let me get some rest.
谢尔顿，这一点帮助都没有你何不就让我睡一会呢
How can you sleep?
你怎么能睡觉呢
I'm not done making you feel better.
为了让你感觉好点 我还有好多事要做呢
I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you and apply VapoRub to your chest.
我还得在你额头放一块冷毛巾唱歌给你听，帮你在胸口擦伤风膏
YYou want to rub something on my chest? Yes. All over it.
你要帮我在胸口擦东西？是啊。整个胸口都得擦
Maybe we should start with that.
或许我们应该从那个开始
Now you're being a responsible patient.
现在你才是个尽责的病人
Now, you may notice some tingling.
你可能会有些刺激感
Oh, I'm counting on it. Okay, dig in. Hold up.
不刺激还不要呢？好了，开动吧。慢着
Bless us, O Lord for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.
主，求你降褔我们並降褔你惠赐的这次晚餐我们的主基督，阿门
Took the words right out of my mouth.
把我想说的话抢了
So, Dad, have you done any fishing lately?
爸 你最近有去钓鱼吗
I'm going next weekend. Oh, you like to fish? Yes.
下周末去你喜欢钓鱼啊？是啊
Sure. I can hear it in your voice.
也是。我能从你声音听出来
Oh, if he didn't like it, he wouldn't go.
如果他不喜欢，就不会去了
You know, I hadn't thought of that. Help me.
我还真没想到这点救我
Hey, Dad, maybe you could take Howard fishing sometime.
爸，有时间你可以带霍华德一起去啊
Give you guys a chance to get to know each other better. No, no.
让你们俩有机会更了解对方。不，不用了。
We know each other well enough.
我们已经够了解对方了
He's been talking my ear off all night. Howie, I think you'd have fun.
他整个晚上都在叨叨个不停。华仔，我觉得你会喜欢的
Fine, you can tag along. Terrific.
好吧，你可以跟着去。太棒了
My two favorite fellas gone fishin'. Well, hang on a second, Bernie.
我最爱的两个男人一起去钓鱼。等一下，小妮妮
Next weekend, we have that thing. What thing?
下周我们有事。什么事？
You know, the thing. Oh, that thing.
就是那件事啊。那件事啊
No, I cancelled that thing. All right, it's settled.
没了，我取消了。行，就这么定了吧
You and I are going fishing. Great. Thanks for the help.
你和我一起去钓鱼，真好。谢谢你落井下石
I've never even been fishing. This is gonna be a disaster.
我从来没去钓过鱼，场面肯定会很糟糕
If you don't want to look foolish doing something, you should practice.
如果不想在干某事时看起来笨手笨脚，你就应该多多练习
Do you know how many beef Wellingtons I made by myself before I invited you guys over?
你知道在邀请你们来我家之前我做了多少次惠灵顿牛排吗？
I'll give you a hint.
给你们个提示
You can see them here, here... and here. Raj is probably right.
你们可以从这里，这里还有这里看出来，拉杰说得对
You should get someone to give you some pointers.
你应该找人给你些建议
Do either of you guys know how to fish? No.
你们俩有谁知道怎么钓鱼吗？不知道
But if you catch anything, I know how to steam it in banana leaves.
不过如果你真钓到鱼我知道怎么用香蕉叶子包着蒸
Come on, we must know somebody who can do manly stuff like this. What's up?
拜托，我们肯定有认识懂这种爷们事情的人。干嘛？
