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I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long.
真不知道我这些年来为什么不看哈利波特系列小说
These are great.
写得很不错啊
I just started number six.
我刚开始看第六册
That's a good one.
那本挺好看的
Dumbledore dies in that one.
邓布利多在这一本里死了
Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either.
我懂你的感觉， 我当初也没料到
Why would you say that?
你干嘛说出来啊
You brought up the subject.
你开始了一个话题
I contributed an interesting fact on that subject.
然后我回以与话题有关的有趣讯息
It's called the art of conversation.
这就叫聊天的艺术啊
Okay, your turn. That was a huge spoiler. Good. What is wrong with you?
换你说了你这是超级大剧透啊。灰常好。你这人有病啊
If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks. Oh, really, Leonard?
换做是我剧透， 你肯定会叽歪一整周。不是吧， 莱纳德
Are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?
你的小暴脾气又要发作了吗
Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
小暴脾气， 我有小暴脾气吗
Yes, and I have a theory why.
没错， 而且我还得出个推论
Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk.
因为你的乳糖不耐症所以你用豆奶替代牛奶
Soy contains estrogenmimicking compounds.
而大豆含有类雌激素的化合物
I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.
你的可可球加豆奶早餐把你变成了一个歇斯底里的八婆
You are unbelievable. I don't know why I put up with you.
你还真够极品啊。我干嘛要这么忍你
You're controlling, you're irritating... There you go againnag, nag, nag.
又是控制狂， 又超级欠扁。又开始叽叽歪歪了， 叽叽， 歪歪， 叽歪
You're only proving my point, little lady.
越叽歪越显得我说得对哦， 小三八
You know what? Screw you, Sheldon.
谢尔顿， 滚你丫的
You are the most annoying person I have ever met.
你是我这辈子见过最烦人的人了
What? I'm annoying?
什么， 我哪里烦人了
You criticize my behavior all the time.
明明是你整天对我的言行意见超多
"Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast."
"谢尔顿， 吃早饭时别提你排便的事"
"Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch."
"谢尔顿， 我们大学校长在丧礼上念悼词时别打哈欠外加指手表催他"
"Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts'cause you think they're ugly."
"谢尔顿， 不要觉得我衣服难看就把它们拿去丢了"
You're impossible. That's it. I don't...
你才难搞好吗？够了， 我没必要...
I don't have to put up with this.
我没必要忍这些极品事
Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do.
事实上， 从你在室友协议上签名的那天起你就注定得忍受
Here's what I think of your roommate agreement.
这就是我对室友协议的意见
You pick that up right now. No.
你马上给我捡起来， 不要
Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground.
室友协议第27章， 第五段写明室友协议书， 与美国国旗一样都不许落地
I don't care. I don't have to do anything you say because...
懒得鸟你。我才懒得管你说了哪些屁话呢
I don't think I want to live here anymore.
我以后不想住这里了
Where are you going? To live with Penny and not you, you crazy bastard.
你要上哪去， 去跟佩妮住不跟你这傻逼混球住了
Crazy bastard? Yes. Leonard, wait. What?
你骂我傻逼混球， 没错。莱纳德， 等等， 干嘛
Dobby the elf dies in book seven.
小精灵多比在第七册也死了。
Here you go.Great. Come on in. What, you don't say thank you? It's my suitcase.
还你太好啦， 进来吧。连句谢谢都不说吗？这本来就是我的
I lent it to you two years ago.
我两年前借给你的
Well, then, I should tell you I broke the wheel and the handle.
行， 那我告诉你吧。我把轮子跟手把都弄坏了
So, is everyone from Bernadette's company going to Vegas?
伯纳黛特全公司的人都要去赌城玩吗
No, just me, her and a couple of the big wigs.
没， 就我跟她， 以及一些高层
It's part of a bonus she got. Cool.
这是她公司的额外奖励啦， 不错
Did she discover a cure for something? going to Vegas?
她是研发出某种疾病的解药之类的吗？不算是啦
They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage.
他们公司砸大钱研发出一种治疗头皮屑的药而那个药的副作用是导致严重拉稀
Is there a good anal leakage?
难道拉稀还能是好事吗
Anyway, it was Bernie's idea to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation.
反正是妮妮的主意让公司把这药物当成治便秘的药物销售
You know, from around the corner where fudge is made.
靠人家做巧克力软糕(拉屎)赚钱
Hey, I got a favor to ask. Sure.
我有件事想请你帮忙， 说吧
My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck since that dentist she was dating dumped her.
我妈被之前好上的那牙医抛弃之后心情就落到了谷底， 郁郁寡欢
Dumped her? What, did he use a forklift? Sorry.
抛弃她， 得用叉车才能吧？对不起
There's nothing funny about morbid obesity.
不应该取笑病态肥胖的人
She's huge. It was funny.
她肥爆了， 是很好笑啦
Anyway, I was just hoping that maybe you could check in on her tomorrow night and make sure she's doing okay.
我是希望呢你明晚能去她那里， 看看她确保以下她没事
Dude, I'm a single man.
兄弟， 我可是黄金单身汉
Saturday night is my party night.
周六夜是我的狂欢夜呢
Really? What do you got going on?
是吗， 你有什么安排
I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood, hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky.
不知道， 可能开车去好莱坞那里去几个泡妞圣地转转， 看有无妹子上钩
Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar.
告诉我这个场景你是否似曾相识
You pay $15 to park, you stand on the sidewalk for an hour until you break down and give the bouncer20 bucks to let you in.
你花了15块停车费然后站在人行道一个小时犹豫直到你忍不住， 然后给了门卫20块门票费， 让你进去
You push your way to the bar, where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan, then you stare at a pretty girl and imagine your perfect life together.
你努力挤到吧台，喝杯18块的大都会鸡尾酒然后盯着一个美女在脑海中幻想你们一起的美好人生
Your children, grandchildren.
幻想你们的孩子， 孙子
Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy who claims he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
然后看着她被自称是电影《比佛利拜金狗》编剧的男人给泡走
Then you give up on anyone ever loving you, go to Marie Callender's, buy a pie and eat it in your car in the parking lot.
然后你就自暴自弃跑去连锁派店买了个派然后回到停车场， 在车上默默吃掉它
What time should I be at your mother's?I told her around 7:00.
我明天该几点到你妈家来着?我跟她说你晚上7点到
I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.
我发誓， 那家伙是我这辈子见过最傲慢自大， 最难以忍受的人类
Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Burt and Ernie.
话是没错， 但你们这对很有爱呢。就像伯特和厄尼（《芝麻街》的两个木偶角色同住在一起， 虽然经常吵架但又很快和好）
You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.
你们俩甚至还教我词语和数字（《芝麻街》是美国家喻户晓的儿童教育节目教授基础阅读算术，颜色的名称，字母和数字等基本知识）
Well, I've had it. I am done.
我受够了， 真的够了
I can't... I can't live with him for one more minute.
我连跟他同住多一分钟都忍不了
Where are you going to go?
那你打算去哪里住
I was thinking here with you. That a problem? No, not at all. No, it'sit's great. It's terrific. I...
来这里跟你住啊。有问题吗?没有， 完全没有。真没， 这样很好啊。简直太棒了
You know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon.
我只是忍不住替谢尔顿难过而已
I mean... how's he going to get by without you? Ernie.
我是觉得...他没有你怎么活啊？厄尼
He's got Amy now. Yeah, he does, but it's not the same. Why? Well, um, all right.
他现在有艾米了。的确， 但不一样的啦。为什么？好吧， 这么说吧
Youyou know how in Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince, Ron didn't abandon Harry just because Harry started dating Ron's sister?
在《哈利?波特与混血王子》（第六册）中罗恩没有因为哈利，跟自己妹妹恋爱而抛弃哈利啊
Harry and Ginny get together? Sorry. Spoiler alert.
哈利和金妮在一起了啊？抱歉，剧透警告。
My point is, as much as I want to live with you, I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you.
我的重点是， 尽管我很想跟你住在一起但谢尔顿需要你，我不能这么自私
Please, the only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy, his his stooge, his doormat.
拜托， 他唯一需要我的地方是当他的替罪羔羊他的傀儡和出气筒
Well, you know what they say: if it ain't broke...
人家不是都说，"不要没事找事嘛"（源自谚语"If it ain't broke, don't fix it"意思是不要随便改变现状，小心弄巧成拙）
It sounds to me like you don't want us to live together. No. No, no, I do. I do. It's just...
听起来似乎你不想咱俩住在一起。不， 不是， 我想。我当然想， 只是...
I mean, it's a really big step. Is it? We're together all the time.
这可是很重要的一步。是吗？我们总是在一起
Financially, it makes great sense.Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this?
钱方面来看，同住好处多多啊.你能想出一个我们不该住在一起的理由吗
Well... um... I'm just a little thirsty. Yeah. I got nothing. Great. I'll go get my stuff. Good.
这个嘛...我突然有点口渴，喝吧。想不到。很好， 我去收拾东西。好
Okay, all right, don't freak out. You can make this work.
好吧， 别慌别慌。你能搞定这件事的
Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom?
你能帮我在浴室整理出一个架子放东西吗
Oh, please let some of it be Xanax.
拜托一定要有抗焦虑的药
I take a lot of medicine.
我每天要吃超多药
Are you ready for dessert?
准备好要吃甜点了吗
No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.
不了， 谢谢， 沃罗威茨太太
As it is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant.
老实说， 我撑得都要抱着肚子走出去了就像消防员小心翼翼地救出婴儿那样
Oh, please. You're a tall glass of brown water. Have dessert. Well, II really couldn't.
拜托。你是个又高又瘦的帅阿三。吃了甜点再走吧。我真的吃不下了
But, uh, I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you've had removed from your body over the years.
但我今晚过得很开心， 边吃你炖的牛胸肉边听你说你这些年从自己身上切除下来的各种东西
Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
真不知道原来肿瘤里能长出瘤中瘤
The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.
医生说它们就像俄罗斯的套娃一样
Well, if you have to go, how about I put a little doggie bag together for you?
如果你坚持要走那我把东西打包到一起让你带走吧
That would be lovely. Thank you.
那真是太好了， 谢谢你
Mrs. Wolowitz, uh... how about I put a little doggie bag together for you? Don't mind me.
沃罗威茨太太你没事吧。别理我
I just cry when I'm lonely and have nothing to live for.
我一觉得孤单没什么活头， 就会想哭
I, uh... I suppose I could stay for some dessert. Great.
要不...要不我吃完甜点再走吧，太好了
You like chocolate chip cheesecake? Sure.
你喜欢吃巧克力碎乳酪蛋糕吗， 喜欢
I'll make one. One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure.
那我做一个。一个捣蛋先生古董模型玩偶（《超人漫画》里面的角色来自其他宇宙，以戏弄超人为乐）
That's Leonard's. Children's toy.
莱纳德的儿童玩具一把《星际迷航:下一代》里的相位枪
One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword.
一把《权力的游戏》收藏版长爪剑
Oh... Leonard and I bought that together.
莱纳德和我一起买的
That's a bit of an ethical conundrum.
这是个伦理难题
Eh, I'll keep it. So, uh, what's your plan moving forward?
算了， 我留着吧。你接下来有什么计划？
Uh, suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate.
估计我得找一个新室友， 然后教化他
What a task that will be.
这是一项多么艰巨的任务啊
Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in? No.
你知道莱纳德一开始进来住的时候多没教养吗？不知道
Oh, it took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule.
废了好大功夫， 才让他有固定的如厕时间
He would just go whenever the mood struck him.
他以前只要感觉一来， 想去就去
Like a dogboy. Exactly.
就像小狗整天拉撒， 完全正确
What if you could find a roommate who was a scientist and already familiar and comfortable with your ways?
假设你能找到一个室友既是科学家同时熟悉并喜欢你的生活方式
That would be ideal.
那当然最理想啦
If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked. Great. Here I am! Wait.
如果真有那么一个人存在我会什么都不问， 立马签协议。太好了， 那个人近在眼前。等等
Here who is where? Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate?
那个人是谁，眼前是哪里？我啊。我难道不是最佳室友人选吗
Think about it, Sheldon.
好好想想， 谢尔顿
I'm not a stranger, we're intellectually compatible, I'm willing to chauffeur you around town, and your personality quirks, and your personality quirks, I find cute as a button.
我既不是陌生人我们的智商又是同一等级我愿意开车载你满城转还有你个性怪癖别人会觉得厌恶或烦人，而我却觉得超级可爱
What do you think?
你觉得怎么样
