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Except on a date with anybody. Literally anybody.
除非有任何人愿意和你约会。真的任何人都可以
You know, you and I have so much fun hanging out.
我们在一起总是很开心
If you were a girl, all our problems would be solved.
如果你是个女孩的话，我们所有问题就迎刃而解了
What? Oh, yeah, think about it.
什么？你仔细想想
We'd hang out, we'd read comic books, we'd see movies.
我们可以总在一起玩，可以一起看漫画 一起看电影
It'd be like the best relationship ever.
这算得上是世间最美妙的关系了
That does sound nice.
听起来是挺好的
Then I'd take you home, slip off your little black dress and just piledrive you into oblivion.
然后我送你回家 脱下你的小黑裙把你搞到七晕八素分不清南北
What? Oh, I can't believe he's going to marry the girl he cheated on me with.
什么？真不敢相信他要和破坏我们感情的小三结婚了
Isn't it kind of nice?
这不是挺美好的吗
I mean, he was with the wrong person, and now he found the right person.
他曾经爱上了错误的对象，如今终于找到他的真爱
What, so I'm the wrong person?
怎么 我成了错误的对象吗
Maybe you want to be with Gretchen, too.
那你是不是也想和格雷琴在一起啊
They do look happy. Yeah, maybe tonight.
他们看起来挺开心的。就算是今晚开心
But a year from now, he'll be crawling under the sink looking for his Xbox. Well, he will.
但一年以后 他就会潜伏在水槽底下摸寻他的游戏机了。他肯定会的
You know what? Why don't we just forget about them and enjoy our Valentine's Day? Yes, absolutely.
算了吧 何不忘掉他们好好享受我们自己的情人节 好的 没问题
Now they're doing that phony linkarmdrink thingy.
现在他们居然玩那种假到爆的交杯酒把戏
I totally taught him that.
这一招还是我教他的呢
I thought we were letting it go.
我以为我们说好不管他们了
We were; it's just... it's not fair, okay?
当然 只是 这太不公平了 好吗
They're bad people.
他们不是什么好人
It's not supposed to end happy for them; it's supposed to end happy for me.
不配拥有幸福大结局，明明应该是我找到最后的幸福
It did end happy for you.
你已经找到你的幸福了啊
You're here with me. Yeah, yeah, I know.
你现在和我在一起 是 是 我知道
Okay, this is getting a little hard to not take personally.
你这么敷衍的样子 很难不让我受伤
Oh, come on, don't make this about you.
得了 别又扯到你身上去了
Oh, I'm not. It's about you.
不是我 这是你的问题
Yeah, well, whatever, okay?
随便怎么都好 行吗
I told you, Valentine's Day sucks.
我告诉过你 情人节就没好事
This one does, and you're the reason why. What?
这个情人节不好过 而你就是罪魁祸首，什么
You know, compared to them, I'm feeling pretty good about us. Me, too.
和他们比起来，我觉得我们俩还过得挺不错的。我也这么觉得
How about we blow off dessert, go home early... I'll do that laundry.
不如我们不吃甜点 早点回家然后我把衣服都洗了
Thank you. I love you. Love you, too.
谢谢你。我爱你。我也爱你
So where'd you hide it?
你到底把游戏机藏哪里了
Where you'd never look.
你永远想不到去看的地方
Damn it, it's in the washing machine. Hello. Hello. Happy Valentine's Day. Okay. Shall we go to dinner? Hang on.
见鬼 原来是藏在洗衣机里了。你好，你好，情人节快乐，好的，我们去吃饭吧。等一下
As you know, I had planned a traditional evening of romance and gifts.
你知道 我原本计划了传统式的浪漫之夜还有互赠礼物
Yes, and as you know, I planned to pretend to enjoy it.
是的，而你也知道我计划全程假装乐在其中
I've been working on this facial expression all day.
我已经练习这种面部表情一整天了
And I appreciate your effort, but upon contemplation, I decided I was being selfish.
我感谢你的努力，但仔细一想，我觉得自己太自私了
So, I canceled our dinner reservations and came up with an even better way to celebrate Valentine's Day.
所以 我取消了晚餐订位想到了另一个更好的办法来庆祝情人节
What is that? By doing none of it no dinner, no romance, no gifts.
什么办法？就是什么都不干不吃什么晚餐不要什么浪漫 不送任何礼物
We stay here, order a pizza and watch one of your beloved Star War Trek things.
我们留在家里 点个披萨外送看一部你最爱的，星际大战之类的片子
Really? Well, that's what you'd love, isn't it?
你说真的吗？这才是你真心最爱的 不是吗
More than anything.
胜过世上的一切
Well, then... that's what we're going to do.
好吧，那我们就这么做吧
Well... I don't know what to say.
我不知该说什么了
This is the most thoughtful gift that anyone's ever given me.
这可是我收到过的所有礼物中最有心的一件了
And that's including an amazing gift that I gave myself earlier today.
比我上午送给自己的一件超级棒的礼物还要好
I'm your girlfriend. That's my job.
我是你的女朋友 这是我的责任
And I know giftgiving puts a lot of pressure on you, so whatever you got me, you can return. No.
我知道挑礼物这事总是让你倍感压力所以不管你准备了什么给我 你都可以退掉它。不行
No, after everything you didn't do for me tonight, I want you to have it.
不 就因为今晚你什么都没为我做，我希望你收下这个礼物
What's this? Read it.
这是什么？读读看
"Sheldon Cooper, Caltech University employee information"? At the bottom.
谢尔顿?库珀加利福尼亚理工大学员工资料？读读下面
"In case of emergency, please contact... Amy Farrah Fowler."
一旦发生紧急情况 请与艾米?菲拉?福勒联系
And there's my phone number.
还有我的电话号码
This is the most beautiful gift you could've ever given me.
这真是你给我的最美好的礼物了
Well, I thought, if I have a stroke or a kidney stone, who would I want to share that with?
反正我想，如果我中风 或者得了肾结石我会愿意和谁分享这件事呢
And you picked me.
而你选择了我
It's like you said you're my girlfriend. Oh, Sheldon. Okay.
就像你刚才说的你是我的女朋友。谢尔顿可以了
Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza. Night. Yep. You know what?
别扫情人节的雅兴 快给我叫披萨外送。晚安，好的，知道吗
That was pretty crappy of you.
你刚才真够差劲的
I mean, all I wanted to do was give you a great night, and it's like youyou went out of your way to destroy it.
我只想给你一个浪漫的情人之夜而你却竭尽所能地搞破坏
Yeah, I know. I'm a total bitch. I'm not saying that. Well, I am.
没错，我就是一个贱人。我没这么说 我是的
Fine, you win. You're a bitch.
好吧 拗不过你 你是贱人
Why couldn't we just have a nice time? I don't know.
我们为什么不能好好过一个情人节？我不知道
Maybe 'cause things are going so well between us lately and I've been really happy.
也许是因为最近我们进展太顺利了我真的很开心
Okay, you're gonna have to make a lot more sense than that.
好吧 你这解释让我更混乱了
Obviously, I have some commitment issues.
显然 我有承诺恐惧症
Glaringly obvious. Go on.
有眼睛的人都看得出来 继续说
As long as things keep going great between us, you'll keep asking me to marry you, and eventually I'm gonna end up saying yes,
只要我们继续顺利交往下去，你会不断向我求婚，最终我会答应，
and then we're gonna be married forever, and the whole thing just freaks me out.
然后我们就会天长地久整件事让我想起来就头皮发麻
Okay. I know I propose a lot. So how about this?
好吧，我知道我这人有喜欢求婚的毛病。你看这样行不行
I promise I will never ask you to marry me again.
我发誓 我再也不会向你求婚
What... what do you mean?
你这是什么意思
Are you breaking up with me? No. No, no, no, no.
你是要和我分手吗？不，不是的
But if someday you decide you want to get married, you have to propose to me.
但如果有一天你想结婚，你得向我求婚
Really? Yes. It's all on you.
真的吗 是的。主动权在你
But I got to tell you, when the time comes, I want the whole nine yards.I want you down on one knee, flowers.I want to be swept off my feet.
不过我得提醒你 真到了那个时候，你一点也不能含糊。你得给我单膝跪地 满地鲜花，你得把我哄得芳心犹如小鹿乱撞
Yeah, you got it. And I'm cool with surprises.
没问题。我不反对来个惊喜
But nothing on a Jumbotron.
但千万别来个大屏幕求婚
I don't want to cry on a big screen like that. Okay. You know what?
我不想满球场的人看着我泪如雨下。好的，知道吗
This might be the wine talking, but I have a very important question to ask you. You do?
可能酒劲上来了，我有个非常重要的问题问你，是吗
Leonard Hofstadter... Yes? ...will you be my valentine?
莱纳德?霍夫斯塔德，什么事?你愿做我今夜的情人吗
Sorry. Maybe next year. I'm just kidding!
抱歉 咱们明年再说吧.开个玩笑
Romance ninja. Let's have sex!
浪漫忍者杀到 咱上床去吧
Thank you, guys, for doing this.
多谢你们办这场派对
We're glad you could make it.
很高兴你能来
Usually I spend Valentine's Day sad and alone.
通常我在情人节这天是悲伤寂寞的
This year, I'm just sad.
今年 我只是悲伤而已
What is it about this holiday that makes people so unhappy? I know.
你说这个节日怎么就令大家这么不开心呢?就是说啊
I hate myself most of the time, but tonight's the night I know everyone else does, too.
大多数时候 我都挺讨厌自己的但今晚 我知道其他人也好不到哪里去
I think you're cool. Great.
我觉得你挺酷的。多谢你看得起
I got to tell you, we've got to stop beating ourselves up like this.
我跟你们说，我们不能再这样自我折磨了
Excuse me, everybody.
各位 不好意思
Can I have your attention, please?
请大家听我说几句
We're all here tonight because... we have no one to be with.
今晚我们齐聚一堂是因为我们没有另一半相陪
But... that doesn't make us mutants.
但这样并不代表我们是异种
The only mutants here are in these comic books.
这里真正的异种全在漫画书里
We've got to stop defining our selfworth by whether or not we're in a relationship.
我们不能再以是否有恋爱对象来定义我们的自我价值
You know what I see when I look around?
知道我放眼过去看到什么吗
I see a room full of great people.
我看到一屋子了不起的人
So let's give ourselves a break.
我们别再跟自己过不去了
We are a community, and as long as we have each other, we're never truly alone.
我们是一个联盟只要我们团结在一起我们就不是寂寞的
That was cool. What you said. You really think so?
真是不错。你说的那些话。你真这样想吗
Yeah, I do. Thank you. Would you like to, uh... get a cup... A cup of coffee or...? Okay.
是的，谢谢，你想不想去喝杯咖啡？好的
Later, losers! Hello?
哥先走一步了 废柴联盟！喂
Another medical emergency?
又是急诊
What's wrong with him now?
这次他又怎么了
I seriously doubt he was bitten by a Chinese bird spider.
我严重怀疑他是不是真被虎纹捕鸟蛛咬了直译名为中国鸟蜘蛛
How exactly does a bump feel Asian?
一个肿块怎么可能有亚洲感
Just put him on the phone.
让他接电话
Sheldon, I am not driving over there again.
谢尔顿 我不会再开车过去了
Because I drove over there yesterday for a brain tumor that turned out to be an ice cream headache.
因为我昨天开车去了你说得了脑瘤 结果却是冰淇淋吃快了导致头痛
Yes, I still want to be your emergency contact.
是的 我依然想做你的紧急联系人
Yes, you can eat your ice cream too fast and also have a brain tumor.
是的 你可以吃冰淇淋吃得过快同时又有脑瘤
I'm on my way. Brain tumor would explain a lot.
我马上来。真是脑瘤很多事情就说得通了
