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Look, I know you guys don't want to do this, but we have no choice.
我知道你们不想弄这事但我们没得选好吗
So, you can either bitch and whine or we can just get it over with.
你们大可以唧唧歪歪 浪费时间也可以通力合作 早点搞定
I got "whine." I got the "b word."
我负责唧唧。我负责歪歪
Yeah, well, it's in our contract to serve on a university committee.
我们与学校的合约中注明了得为大学委员会服务
And frankly, this is one I believe in. Okay, here we go.
老实说 我也认同这件事。主题就是
Encouraging more women to pursue a career in the sciences.
鼓励更多女性加入科学领域
Come on, if I was any good at convincing women to do stuff,
拜托 我要有本事说服女人去做我想她们做的事
I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20s in the shower.
那我20多岁时 就不用常自己在浴室"自乐"了
If you ask me,this whole thing is a waste of our time.
要我说的话搞这事根本只是浪费时间
Helping women? Yeah, helping anyone.
帮助女性浪费时间吗？帮人就是浪费时间。
People should take care of themselves.
人们应该自己照顾自己
Oh, like yesterday,when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners,the pharmacy and the post office?
比如像昨天你叫我载你去干洗店药店跟邮局那样吗
I'm not saying people can't use tools.
我又没说人们不能使用工具
Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam.
连水獭想吃蛤蜊时都知道用石头敲开了
You don't think it's worthwhile to try to get more women working in science.
你觉得花时间让更多女性加入科学行业不好吗
I think that's incredibly sexist of you.
我觉得你太有性别歧视了
I believe in a gender-blind society like in Star Trek, where women and men of all races and creeds work side by side as equals.
我相信在性别平等的社会比如《星际迷航》中 各个种族信仰各异的男女都平等地一起共事
You mean where they were advanced enough to invent an interstellar warp drive,but a black lady still answered the space phone?
你是说那个先进到能发明出能进行恒星际旅行的曲速引擎却还是让一个黑人女性接太空电话的世界吗
Oh, I did spend a lot of my shower time with Lieutenant Uhura.
我的浴室"自乐"时间有不少是跟乌乎拉通讯官度过的
Howard's disturbing recollections aside, I don't appreciate being forced to do banal committee work.
先不管霍华德的下流回忆我不喜欢被逼去做这些平庸的委员会工作
Yes, I know, you're too smart for this.Exactly.
是是是 太大材小用了。没错
It's like asking the Human Torch to heat up your frozen burrito.Got it.
就跟叫霹雳火（霹雳火是《神奇四侠》里的人物 能让全身变成火焰）来热你的冷冻玉米煎饼一样。明白
All right, I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process,
我想到了一个避免在同行评审阶段遭受歧视的方法
is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names.
就是报告都用中性名字递交
Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
比如S?史密斯而不是沙曼莎?史密斯
I suppose there is a history of professional women using their initials, so as not to be pre-judged.
专业领域的某些女性使用缩写名来避免先入为主的批判 的确行之有年了
Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling,uh, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
《哈利波特》作者 J.K.罗琳《星际迷航》编剧 D.C.丰塔纳
Van Nuys pole-dancer D.D. Melons.
范奈斯市的钢管舞女 DD杯?麦伦（巨乳）
All right, I think we've really helped women today. Let's fire up the old Xbox.
好啦 我们今天有帮到女性了，来打电动吧
Guys, please don't make this a school project where I'm the smart kid doing all the work while the slackers sit back and watch.
你们俩 拜托别让历史重演小时候做报告 聪明孩子做全部其他懒鬼就在旁边看着
No, we're not.
我们才不是呢
This time you're the smart kid doing all the work while the even smarter kids sit back and watch.
这次是聪明孩子负责做全部工作而更聪明的孩子在旁边看着
So, you think I'm one of the smarter kids?
你觉得我也是更聪明的孩子吗
No, you're a tool I was using to make my point.
不是 你只是我用来证明论点的工具
Guys, our topic is "Encouraging Women in Science."
我们的主题是"鼓励女性加入科学领域"
Can you at least play a less sexist game?
你们俩不能玩少点性别歧视的游戏吗
How is it sexist?
这哪有歧视女性
My character wields a battle axe as well as any man.
我的角色能像男人一样把大战锤挥起来
Not to mention she has mammary glands that could nurse a family of 30.
更别说她有着超发达的乳腺足够喂养一家三十口
And have enough milk left over to open a Baskin Robbins.
而且剩下来的量都够开冰激凌店用了
Mother, warrior-princess, franchise owner--I hear glass ceilings shattering all over town.
母亲 战士公主 冰激凌加盟店老板女性职场障碍全被打爆啊
Sheldon, you're always saying how much smarter you are than me.
谢尔顿 你老说你比我聪明无数倍
Spend five seconds and come up with one idea on how to get more women into science.
那你能用五秒钟想出一个能让更多女性加入科学领域的方法吗
All your ideas address the issue at a university level.
你的所有点子都仅限于学术界阶段的问题
By then it's too late.
但那阶段已经太晚了
You need to design an outreach program that targets girls at the middle school level
你应该设计一个扩展研究把目标延伸到中学阶段的少女们
and sets them on an academic track towards the hard sciences.
把她们导向追求学术迈向硬科学的道路之上
That's actually good. Why didn't I think of that?
还真是个好点子。我怎么就没想到呢？
Some people are otters, some people are rocks.
有些人是水獭 而有些人就只是石头
I wonder if there's a way we could give the idea a trial run.
有没有什么方法可以先试验一下这点子呢
Maybe I could call my old middle school, see if we can talk to some of the female students.
我可以试试打电话给我以前的中学看我们能不能跟一些女学生聊聊
That's great-- try to set up something for the three of us to go over there. Oh, hold on.
这不错啊 安排一下让我们三个去那里试试，先等等吧
While I'm comfortable speaking about science,
虽然我对谈科学没有任何问题
I'm not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren.
但我不确定能否勾起中学女孩的兴趣
Better Google it. What exactly are you looking up?
我先上网搜搜吧。你打算搜什么关键句
"How do I get 12-year-old girls excited." No! No!
"如何让12岁少女兴奋"不要 快住手
Thanks again for letting me crash "girls' night."
再次感谢你们让我参一脚"闺蜜之夜"
Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue.
开什么玩笑？你带来上好的红酒 还给我们做芝士火锅
I've slept with guys for less.It's a joke.
比这小的好处我都"睡"过了。开玩笑啦
Based on real events.
基于真实故事的玩笑
Anyway, I was hoping I could, uh,pick your brains a little.
总之 我希望可以向你们请教一下
I'm supposed to take Lucy out Friday and I need a killer first date.
我周五要跟露西约会我需要一个超棒的初次约会
Well, evolutionary biology says that women are attracted
进化生物学说 女人容易被
to a man who is steady in the face of danger, so I recommend an unsafe environment.
临危不乱的男人所吸引所以我建议去危险的地方
Seedy bar on the wrong side of the tracks... picnic near a lunatic asylum... a wine tasting on Skid Row.
去贫民区破旧的酒吧去疯人院附近野餐去贫民窟品酒
Eh, Lucy has some, uh, social anxiety issues.
露西有社交焦虑症
Maybe we could start with something simpler.
或许我们可以从简单点的地方着手
Why don't you take her to Disneyland?
你何不带她去迪士尼乐园
You go on Space Mountain,you're in the dark, she's holding onto you.
你们可以玩室内过山车两人处于黑暗中 她紧紧抓住你
Yeah, but you just have to remember,that ride is shorter than you think
但千万要记住那比你想象中还快结束
and they take a picture of you at the end,so make sure you got your clothes back on.
终点前还会给你俩拍照所以记得在那之前就穿回衣服
It's a joke. Based on real events.
开玩笑啦。基于真实故事的玩笑
Mm, Disneyland? I don't know.
迪士尼乐园 我不知道该不该去
With all the crowds and the weird characters walking around, just reminds me too much of India.
人挤人 还有奇怪的角色玩偶人四处游走会让我有一种在印度的错觉
I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a kid.
我从来没去过迪士尼
We should definitely go one weekend.
真应该找个周末去玩玩
Weekends are too crowded.
周末人太多了
So, blow off work, go on a weekday. Hooky?
那就不去上班 工作日时去。翘班吗？
I've never played hooky in my life.
我这辈子连课都没翘过
My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music.
我妈说翘课的女生最后都会沉迷于大麻和爵士乐
It's more like how girls end up at a Best Western hotel with a 34-year-old guy named Luther.
其实翘课的女生更有可能在酒店跟一个34岁的老头开房
Joke? I can laugh about it now. So, what do you say?
也是玩笑吗？我现在对此能一笑置之了。你们觉得怎么样
This Friday we ditch work and go to Disneyland?
周五我们放下工作去迪士尼 好吗
I'm in. Me, too.
我赞成。我也赞成
Excuse me, I thought we were trying to solve my problem?
打断一下，你们不是要帮忙解决我的问题吗？
Oh, yeah, right. Wait, what was your problem again?
对哦，没错。等下，你的问题是什么来着？
I am a man who can't talk to women,trying to figure out how to go on a romantic date with a girl
我是一个无法跟女性正常交流的男人试图想出如何跟一个患有严重社交焦虑症
who suffers from such crippling social anxiety she can't be around other people.
而无法跟人共处的女孩进行一次浪漫约会
Yeah, that's a toughie.Let's think.
对哦 这还真有难度。我们好好想想
We doing just Disney or California Adventure, too?
我们是光去迪士尼 还是也去加州冒险乐园呢
It's nice of your old school to let us try out our science talk on some female students.
真是太好了 你的母校肯让我们试验在一群女学生面前宣讲科学
Well, they're actually pretty excited.
他们其实挺开心的
I'm their most famous alum.
我是他们最出名的毕业生
If you don't count the serial killer who ate all those prostitutes.
如果不算那个奸杀妓女还吃掉她们的连环杀手的话
This must feel pretty good for you,coming back to your alma mater as an astronaut.
你的感觉一定很好吧以宇航员的身份荣归母校
Yeah, last time I was here,I was just a scrawny little nerd.
那是 我上一次在这里时我只是个骨瘦如柴的小阿宅
And now you're also an astronaut. So many memories.
现在还是 不过是多了宇航员的身份。这里有我很多回忆
I mean, how many times in these hallways was I tripped, punched and spit on?
我经常在这些走廊里被人绊倒 被人打 还被吐口水
Oh, look, here's my old locker.
瞧 这是我以前的储物柜
I have a masters in engineering and I still can't figure out how Scott Kapinski got me and my briefcase to fit in there.
虽然我是工程学的硕士但我还是想不明白斯科特?坎宾斯基是怎么把我和我的公文包一起塞进里面的
What?Nothing.Smart. We don't want any problems.
干嘛？没事。明智 我们可不想惹麻烦
I can't believe I ditched work for Disneyland.
真不敢相信 我居然翘班去迪士尼
What did you tell your boss?
你怎么跟老板说的
Oh, I was very clever, I did it in stages.
我相当聪明 一步一步铺好哏
At 7:00 last night, I called about a problem at the lab and casually mentioned I was going out for seafood.
昨晚7点，我打去跟他说实验室的问题然后不经意地提到我要出去吃海鲜
At 9:30,I called and told him that one of my scallops tasted weird.
9点半我打去告诉他 我其中一个扇贝吃起来怪怪的
At 11:30 I called and told him thatI was throwing up like a fire hose.
11点半 我打过去说我吐得天昏地暗
At 12:45.I called and made nothing but dry heaving sounds,and now I'm going to Disneyland.
12点45分我打过去 什么也不说就一直干呕而现在我在去迪士尼的路上了
Penny, what did you say?
佩妮 你怎么说的
I work at the Cheesecake Factory,I said "Bye."
我在芝士蛋糕工厂上班，说声再见就能甩头走人
So, what are we gonna do first?
我们先玩什么
I don't know about you guys,but I'm gonna make a beeline for the place that gives you a princess makeover.
我不知道你们俩想玩什么，但我要直奔一个地方可以把你装扮成公主
Ooh, that sounds like fun. You're kidding, right?
听起来很好玩。你说笑呢，对吧？
We're not just gonna get drunk and go on rides?
我们不是要喝个大醉 然后去坐游乐设施吗
Come on, do it with us.All right, whatever. How does it work?
别这样，和我们一起玩嘛。好吧，随便吧。要怎么玩
Okay, so, you pick your princess-- Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella--they give you hair, makeup, the works.
你先选个公主睡美人 白雪公主 灰姑娘他们会帮你弄头发 化妆 弄全套
Guess it would be fun to be Cinderella.Oh, I want to be Cinderella, too. Yeah.
打扮成灰姑娘肯定很好玩。我也想当灰姑娘 对啊
We can't all be Cinderella.
我们不能都当灰姑娘
Then how do we decide? Well, it's simple.
那要怎么决定呢？很简单
This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella.
这是我的主意，开车的是我。所以我是灰姑娘
You bitches got a problem with that,
你们两个小贱货要是有意见
we could stop the car right now.
我们现在就可以停车
