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Hey.
嘿。
Oh,hey.You work the lunch shift?
今天是中午的班呀
Yeah. I've got eight pounds of salmon that's about to go bad.
是啊 我还带了八磅快坏的鲑鱼回来
Do you know how to cook it?
你知道怎么煮吗
Not really.
不知道
Damn it.Should have liberated the iffy chicken.
该死 早知道就应该拿那些问题鸡肉
What are you and Professor Fussyface up to tonight?
你和那个挑剔鬼今晚有啥节目
Star Wars on Bluray.
看蓝光版星球大战
Haven't you seen that movie, like, a thousand times?
你们不是已经看了N遍了吗
Not on Bluray.
蓝光版的没有啊
Only twice on Bluray.
蓝光的只看了两遍
Oh, Leonard.
可悲啊 莱纳德
I know, it's highresolution sadness.
我知道 都是高清惹的祸
Well, I'm going to take myself out to a movie tonight.You want to go?
我今晚打算去看一场电影 你想去吗
Really? Do we do that?
真的吗 我们能去吗
What do you mean?
你什么意思
You know, we haven't spent time alone together since we broke up.
你也知道 自从咱俩分手以后 就没单独出去玩过
Oh, it's not a date, Leonard.It's just a man and a woman hanging out,not having sex at the end of the night.
莱纳德 这又不是约会 只是一个男人和一个女人出去玩 晚上各回各家 各睡各床
Sounds like most of my dates.
这是我大多数约会的真实写照
Oh, dear Lord, get away from me, you monster!
老天呐 离我远点 你个怪物
What is that about?
这是怎么回事
Well, he's smart and crazy enough,he may have actually created a monster.
他够聪明也够疯狂 没准真造了个怪物出来
Shoo, shoo! Be gone!
去 去 快走
What the hell is going on?
到底是怎么了 hell双关 亦有地狱的意思
There's a bird outside the window, and he won't go away.That is the hell that is going on.
窗户外面有只鸟 死活不肯走 弄得我跟人间炼狱似的
We have no worms or seeds here.Shoo! Shoo!
我们这儿既没虫子也没种子 去去 快走
Really? On top of everything else, you're afraid of birds?
不是吧 这世界那么险恶 你怕的却是小鸟
It's called ornithophobia.And someday it will be recognized as a true disability,and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building.
这叫恐鸟症 而且总有一天 恐鸟症会被视为一种残疾 房东必须按照法律规定给这栋楼加一张大网
Which is unfortunate, because I have a fear of nets.
到时就悲剧了 因为我还怕网
So movies, yes or no?
电影 你去不去
Movies, yes.
去 一定去
Great. I'll see you later.
好 待会儿见
And remember, he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
记住啦 他其实比你还害怕呢
That doesn't help.
说这话一点用都没有
No, I was talking to the bird.
谁跟你说了 我跟鸟说呢
Go away, bird. Go away, bird. Go away, bird.
小鸟快走 小鸟快走 小鸟快走
Sheldon, just ignore him.
谢尔顿 无视它不就行了
Good idea. Attention is what birds want.
好主意 这鸟无非就是求关注
Oh, much better. All right.
啊 好多了 好
Now I'll just get along with my life.
我现在可以安心了
Make a pot of tea, Leonard. It's going to be a long night.
泡壶茶 莱纳德 今晚要跟它抗争到底了
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
The bird's still there?
那鸟还没走呢
Quick, what does a hawk sound like?
快 老鹰是怎么叫的
I don't know
我也不太清楚
Please, that's a seagull.If you're not going to help, don't help.
拜托 那是海鸥的声音 你要是帮不上忙 就闭嘴
Sorry. Do you think I'm overdressed?
对不起 我穿得会不会太正式了
It depends on the activity.
这得看场合了
For a prostate exam, yes.
如果去做前列腺检查 是有点正式
If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins.
但如果是扮维加斯 我会加一些亮片 (惊奇漫画角色)
I'm going to the movies with Penny.I don't want her to think that I think it's a date.
我是要跟佩妮去看电影 我不想让她认为 我认为是约会
Do you think it's a date?
你认为是约会吗
No, but she might think I think it's a date even though I don't.
不 但她会认为我是这么认为 但其实我不是
Or you might think she thinks you think it's a date even though she doesn't.
说不定是你认为她认为你这么认为 其实她不是
Are we overthinking this? Not at all.
我们是不是想太多了 绝对没有
You're right. I'm fine. I'm wearing this.
你说得对 算了 我就这么穿吧
Really? A blazer? All right.
不是吧 西装? 好吧
Yes, hello.This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.I'm at 2311 North Robles Avenue.I'd like to report a dangerous wild animal.
喂 你好 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士 我住在罗夫莱斯北大街2311号 我这里有一只危险的野生动物
A blue jay.
一只蓝冠鸦
I'm sorry, this is Animal Control.I don't understand the laughter.
不好意思 我找的就是动物管理部门 我不明白你笑什么
No, the bird is not in my home.If he was in my home, I obviously would have called 911.
不 那只鸟不在我家里 它要是在我家里 我早就打911报警了
Sir, I have no doubt that there are things that you're frightened of.
先生 我相信你也有害怕的东西
Being stuck in a deadend public service job.
比如从事没前途的公共服务工作
Or your wife stepping out on you because you're stuck in a deadend public service job.Or spiders.
或者你老婆背叛你 因为你从事的是没前途的公共服务工作 又或者你怕蜘蛛
Don't you think I tried making cat noises?
学猫叫有用的话 打电话给你干嘛
Too casual?
会不会太休闲了
For an audience with the queen, yes.
去觐见女王的话 是太休闲了
For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can, you look great.
不过晚上去着火的垃圾箱旁边扔一瓶烈酒 你的着装正合适
What am I thinking? Whiskers.
我想啥呢 居然没画胡子
Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
现在买票的话 能赶上珍妮弗·安妮斯顿的新电影
Oh, yeah, sure.There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on a river in South America.
对 没错 不过还有一场精彩的纪录片讲述在南美洲的一条河上建一座水坝
Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston,and she's not building a dam.
可珍妮弗·安妮斯顿的电影里有珍妮弗·安妮斯顿而且她不会建什么水坝
Can't argue with that.
这倒是真的
I'll get the tickets. Okay.
我去买票 好
Actually, you know what?I think it's about time I picked a movie we see.
等等 其实呢 我觉得现在该我挑电影了
You pick plenty of movies.
你都挑过好多次了
No. You always picked,and it was always the same.
不 都是你挑的而且每次都一样
An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
前面90分钟都在说雨中的海滨别墅最后女主角顿时醒悟发现原来爱一直在身边
Come on, that is a great movie, and it starts in ten minutes.
拜托 那电影很棒 而且还有10分钟就开演了
I hate those movies.
我讨厌这种电影
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
你不讨厌 我真的讨厌
The only reason I went is because you wanted to see them,and I wanted to have sex.
我之所以以前和你一起看 是因为你想看而我想和你滚床单
To this day, I can't see a Sandra Bullock movie poster without getting both bored and aroused.
而今天 我既然不能兴奋和性奋还看什么桑德拉·布洛克的电影啊
Okay, so while we were going out,how often would you pretend to like things just to have sex with me?
好吧 这么说我们约会的时候 你有多少次是假装听我的其实只是为了和我滚床单
All the time.
一直都是
You're kidding.
不是吧
Does this sound familiar?I'd love to go shoe shopping with you.
那你觉得这些话耳熟不 我喜欢和你去逛街买鞋子
Hiking? It's great.
远足 棒极了
It' 2 a.m., of course I want to go to Korea Town and sing karaoke with your friends.Who wouldn't?
凌晨2点啊 我当然想去韩国城和你们朋友唱K啦乐意之极
Okay, we were going out.You were going to get sex anyway.
好吧 我们每次约会 哪次没有滚床单的
Really? You would have slept with me after a three hour documentary on dams?
是吗 你要是看了三小时水坝的纪录片 你还有性致吗
No. No woman would.
没有 没女人会有
See? Now, that's the great thing.
瞧 这就是最棒的地方
We're out as friends. This is not a date.Sex is off the table.So, let's go learn how hydroelectric power might not be the environmental bargain you think it is.
我们现在是朋友 不是在约会滚床单没戏 所以 我们就去看看水力发电 也许不是你想的那么环保
Sorry. Spoiler alert.
抱歉 剧透了
All right, fine.
好吧
Thanks.
谢了
Tickets are 11 bucks.
电影票十一块
Not a date.
不是约会嘛
Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
快点 谢尔顿 来看《星球大战》
I'm pushing play. I mean it.If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.
我要按播放键啦 我说真的 要是我们再不快点看 乔治·卢卡斯又要出新版本了
This would go a lot faster if you put your trade school diploma to work and helped me set up this highfrequency tone generator.
要是你那职业学校的学历有点用 就过来帮我倒腾一下这台高音频发生器 那我们的问题就解决了
I have a Masters degree from M.I.T.
我可是麻省理工的硕士生
Yeah, but you've got a cando attitude and that's what's important.
好吧 你好歹有乐观苦干的态度 这才是重点
I really don't get your problem with birds.
我真不懂你和鸟有什么仇
The question you should be asking is what is their problem with me?
你该这么问 鸟对我有什么仇
My first memory: A hummingbird divebombing my stroller to get at the apple juice in my sippy cup.
我刚开始记事起 一只蜂鸟俯冲进我的婴儿车 偷吃了我吸管杯里的苹果汁
Hummingbirds are pretty.
蜂鸟很美的
Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
蜂鸟是鲜花界的吸血鬼
Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo.
还是我在脚踝纹身图案的首选
Or a dolphin I go back and forth.
或是海豚 我在这两者间犹豫不决
Age seven, a bloodthirsty chicken chases me up a tree.
我7岁时 一只丧心病狂的鸡追着我爬到树上
Age 12, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth.
12岁时 一只喜鹊想从我嘴里抢走牙套
Age 16, a parrot in a pet store calls me fat ass.
16岁时 宠物店的一只鹦鹉骂我胖仔
Need I go on?
我还要继续说吗
Yes, please. This is way better than the movie.
当然 这可比电影有趣多了
All right, Sheldon,your bird death ray is ready.
好吧 谢尔顿 你的"杀鸟死光"准备好了
It's not a death ray.It's just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off.
这不是"死光" 只是弄点超声波好吓跑他
Trust me, if I had a death ray,I wouldn't be living here.I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
相信我 如果我有"死光" 我就不会住这儿了 我会坐在用不完的钱堆上 都是人们送来贿赂我求我别用"死光"
All right, and in three,two, one.
好吧 三 二 一
That is one tough birdie.
这只小鸟真霸气
Come on, you enjoyed the movie.
拜托 你明明很喜欢那电影
I saw you tearing up when the village got flooded,and everyone had to relocate.
村庄要被淹没 所有人要搬家时 我看你都哭了
No, I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't.
不 我是想为什么他们能走而我不行
I'm going to get some fries.You want anything?
我要去买点薯片。你要来点吗
Uh, no, thanks.
不 谢了
Are you sure?You always say no, and then you eat half my fries.
你确定吗 你每次都说不要 却把我的吃掉一半
I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like.
我只是吃那些酥脆的 反正你不喜欢
No, I love them. I save them for the end,but they're gone because you ate them.
不 我超喜欢 我只是留到最后吃 结果却被你吃光光
And why did I let you eat them?
我为什么让你吃呢
To get sex.
你想滚床单
Exactly.
没错
But this is not a date.So I ask again, would you like anything?
但这不是约会 所以我再问一次 你要来点什么吗
All right, I'd like an order of fries.
好吧 给我来份薯条
Great. That'll be five dollars.
好极了 五块钱
I am having the best time.
这是我有史以来最开心的夜晚
I'm so glad you suggested we do this.
我真高兴你约我出来
Oh, sorry.
不好意思
No problem.
没关系
What you writing there?
你在写什么
A screenplay.
剧本
It's about a guy whose roommate is having sex and tells him to go to a bar and work on his screenplay.
叙述的是一个宅男的室友因为要打炮 所以把他赶来酒吧写剧本的悲惨故事
I Hope Alex Gets Crabs: The Movie.
电影名《我希望艾力克斯染上阴虱》
It's a working title.
这只是暂定名
I'm Kevin. Oh. Penny.
我叫凯文 我叫佩妮
Nice to meet you.
幸会幸会
I'll let you get back to your date.
我就不打扰你们约会了
Oh, no, no. This isn't a date, no.
不不 我们没在约会 完全不是
Right?
对吧
Uh... right.
对
So have you written anything I might have seen?
那你的作品有没有我可能看过的呢
That depends. How much time do you spend on Yelp?
不好说 你喜欢逛大众点评网吗
