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So, Bernadette, how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
伯纳黛特 伴娘的礼服找得怎样了
Well, if you don't mind looking like an orange traffic cone, great.
如果你不介意看上去像个橙色交通锥的话 已经找到了
Girlfriends, I have the answer to our dress problems.
闺蜜们 我有办法解决礼服的问题
Really?
真的吗
12 years ago, my cousin Irene and her entire family died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident the night before her wedding.
十二年前 我表妹艾琳全家 在她结婚前晚 全死于一场可怕的 一氧化碳中毒事故
That's horrible.
人间惨剧啊
Yes and no.
这倒未必
All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused and available to us for free.
那些还没被穿过的伴娘衣服咱们就能免费享用了
So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas had a silver lining after all.
只能说 大难全死必有后福啊
Check it out,still in the bags. The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
你们看 都还在袋子里呢不是说尸袋 是说礼服防尘袋
I don't know.Dead people's dresses?
这个嘛 穿死人剩的衣服不太好吧
Yeah, and cap sleeve...
是啊 而且那超短袖...
Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
我还希望你们不会注意到呢
Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes,and sadly as it turned out, space heaters.
艾琳总对打折的服饰毫无抵抗力超短袖太冷 开暖气才一氧化碳中毒的
Ladies, please.These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach.
女士们 自制啊 这间屋子曾是一个智慧的集合地 在这里 大脑和胃袋都能吸收到营养
But through no one's fault,Penny,
虽然没人有错佩妮
the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined.And again, I'm looking at no one in particular,
但晚餐谈话的质量的确下滑了再次重申 这事谁都不怪
Penny.
佩妮
Fine.What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
好吧 那你想聊什么 谢尔顿
What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?Why do you hate us?
你居然问谢尔顿想聊什么 你何苦要逼死大家呢
I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to both the advanced and novice conversationalists.
我准备了一些应该能同时吸引 高阶谈天霸 与低档聊天人的话题
Okay, that time you looked at me.
你明显意有所指的瞄了我
Who didn't?Your skin is like alabaster.Do you even have pores?
谁不想瞄你啊 你的皮肤白璧无瑕 感觉根本没毛孔啊
Topic one:Faster than light particles at CERN paradigm shifting discovery or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese? And converse.
第一个话题 欧洲核子研究中心宣布超光速离子的存在这是范式转换的新发现 还是像它们的乳酪一样千疮百孔的笑谈 开始高谈阔论吧
All right, who wants to go to my apartment and look at bridal magazines?
好吧 谁想来 我屋子里看看婚礼杂志
Oh, me.
我去看
Through no one's fault, Sheldon, we're leaving.
完全不怪任何人 谢尔顿 我们闪人了
Wait for moi.
等等人家啦
You're leaving?
你也要走吗
Sheldon, sometimes you forget, I'm a lady.
谢尔顿 有时你忘记了我也是一名女士
and with that, comes with an oestrogen fuel need to page through thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.
女人天生带一种雌激素 促使我们一边 翻阅光鲜厚重的杂志 一边暗恨自己身材不佳
New topic: women.Delightfully mysterious or bat crap crazy?
新话题: 女人们 讨人喜爱的谜女还是令人厌恶的八婆
Totally.What's wrong with cap sleeves?If you have the right figure for it, they're adorable.
说得好 超短袖有哪里不好了 只要身形适合 穿起来超卡哇伊啊
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
Hey, Amy, what brings you to our neck of the woods?
哟 艾米 什么风把你吹来这了
Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
你们神经科学部门借了我朊病毒培养箱来协助我牛海绵状脑病的研究
She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.
她是来讨一杯疯牛病
It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious,and yet somehow you do it.
把脑部退化疾病说得诙谐可不容易 但你总能化正经为笑料
That's fun to have in a lunchroom.
餐桌上谈这个还 真 有意思啊
The real fun starts when you get to pick the rat you're going to feed it to, and maybe you choose the beady eyed little mother who's been biting you all week.
真正的乐趣始于你能挑选 任意小白鼠来注入病毒 搞不好选中的就是那只老咬你的鼠妈妈
Please, we're eating.Can we get that off the table and change the subject?
拜托 我们在吃饭呢 可不可以把那东西拿下桌 然后换个话题聊啊
Can we? Stand back...屏息以待吧
换话题吗
while I turn this conversation into a Conver sensation.
看哥怎么将聊天打屁升华到指点江山
This time, it's your fault.
这次完全是你自找的
I have 100 alphabetized topics from Artichoke come on, people, it's just a giant thistle,to Zzz the onamona poetry of sleep.
我有一百个按字母顺序排列的话题 从洋蓟:这不过是蓟长得大一点罢了 到 《打鼾》:以鼾声为诗
Amy, how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me?
艾米 疯牛病毒得多久才弄得死我啊
I don't know, four or five years.
我也不知道 四五年吧
No, it's not gonna do it.
不行 远水救不了近火
Oy. Bernadette keeps texting me pictures of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
伯纳黛特一直发给我 佩妮试伴娘礼服的照片
They're out shopping right now?
她们现在在逛街吗
Yeah.
是啊
Just the two of them?
只有她们两人吗
I guess.
我想是吧
That's cool, that's cool.
很好 非常好
Why are they asking me about this stuff? What guy knows what a sweetheart neckline is?
她们为毛问我这种事情啊 哪个男人能知道鸡心领是什么玩意
Leonard's coming down the home stretch!
莱纳德要终点前冲刺啦
Come on, horsey, you can do this!
加油啊 马儿 你能行的
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles, you can do this!
该死 拜托 大腿肌肉 你也能行
Yes! First place.
太棒了 冠军
I would have been a great jockey if I weren't too tall.
我肯定能当一名好骑士 要不是小时候太高...
and scared of horses.
和害怕马的话
Sheldon, you're up.
谢尔顿 该你了
What?
什么
Come on, it's your turn.We said we'd get more fresh air.
快点 该你了 我们说好要呼吸新鲜空气的
Sorry. I'm a little distracted.
抱歉 我有点心烦意乱
I can't seem to get in touch with Amy.
我联系不到艾米了
I tried e mail, video chat,tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
不管是发邮件 邀请视频 在推特上找她 或在她主页上留言 发短信 都没用
Did you try calling her on the telephone?
你打过她家里电话吗
The telephone.
对呀 打座机
You know, Leonard, in your own simple way,you may be the wisest of us all.
莱纳德 在你的简单世界里你是个举世无双的天才
Voice mail.Curiouser and curiouser.
语音信箱 真是奇了怪了
If you're worried, we can go over there and see if she's all right.
要是你不放心 我们可以过去 看看她是否有事
Okay.You know, I heard in the news a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.
好吧 话说我看到一条新闻 她家那一带有人目击山猫出没
I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
艾米很安全 不会被山猫吃掉的
Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?
谁说艾米被山猫吃掉了
You do?
你呀
Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item.
莱纳德 我不过是说说当地新闻
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
都怪你 害我开始担心艾米被山猫吃掉了
Forget about the bobcat.
就忘了山猫这档事吧
How can I? You won't stop talking about it!
你猛提山猫 谁忘得掉啊
*Everybody hurts*
*世间伤心事*
*Sometimes*
*时有心伤*
*Everybody cries*
*惟见泪千行*
*Everybody hurts*
*世间伤心事*
*Sometimes.*
*时有心伤*
She sounds weepy.I don't like weepy. Let's go.
她哭哭啼啼的 我讨厌人家哭哭啼啼 咱们走吧
She's your friend.Step up.
她可是你朋友 爷们点
Amy. Amy. Amy.
艾米 艾米 艾米
Bye.
撤了
Where are you going?
你要去哪
I'm single, I don't need this crap.
爷我是单身 不用搅和这破事
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
谢尔顿 你来做什么
You didn't respond to any of my electronic communications.
我和你的电子通信 你全都没回应
I wanted to be alone.
我想一个人待着
Would you like to talk about it?
你想聊聊吗
And keep in mind that No is a perfectly viable answer.
友情提醒 想回答 不想说 可别客气
Sheldon, my world is crumbling around me.
谢尔顿 我的世界要崩溃了
Point of order.
按照程序
As you're in distress, it would be customary for me to offer you a hot beverage.
因为你不开心 按照惯例 我该给你倒杯热饮
But I'm a guest in your home, so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage.
但我是你的客人 按照惯例 你该给我倒杯饮料
How do you want to proceed vis à vis beverages?
你想要怎么来面对面互倒饮料呀
It doesn't matter.Nothing matters.
无所谓 都无所谓了
If you'd like to take your mind off what's troubling you,uh, word on the street is a bobcat has been spotted.
如果你想聊别的 不谈这事 坊间传言 有人目击这附近有山猫出没
Penny and Bernadette went shopping for bridesmaids dresses without me.
佩妮和伯纳黛特没叫我 就自己去买伴娘礼服了
And that made you feel...sad?
这让你...不开心吗
Yes.
是的
I knew it.
我就知道
Just keep going.I guess I'm good at this.
继续说 我好像还挺会读心啊
It's just, I thought they liked hanging out with me,but I guess I was fooling myself.
我以为她们是喜欢和我一起玩的原来我只是自己骗自己
When they were over here,did you fail to offer them a beverage?
是不是她们来你家的时候 你没给人家倒饮料啊
'Cause I can see how that could stick in someone's craw.
某些人对这事很在意很不爽
Sheldon, I'm going to ask you something,and I'd like you to keep an open mind.
谢尔顿 我想请你做件事 希望你不要用异样眼光看待
Always.
一贯如此
At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
此时此刻 我很渴望 与人有亲密行为和肢体接触
Oh, boy.
亲娘咧
You know ours is a relationship of the mind.
你知道我们的关系仅限于精神层面
Proposal.
我提议
One wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
咱俩一夜激情 大战数千回合 既能抚慰我心 也令我胯下湿热
Counterproposal.I will gently stroke your head and repeat, aw, who's a good Amy
反提议 我会轻轻地梳你的头 然后反复地说 谁是乖乖艾米宝贝啊
How about this? French kissing seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base.
那这样如何 法式热吻 七分钟的巅峰体验 在你上我二垒后划下句点
Neck massage... ..then you get me that beverage.
我帮你揉脖子然后你给我倒杯饮料
We cuddle. Final offer.
我们抱一下 不商量了
Very well.
好吧
Oh, boy.
真要命
I'm just saying, second base is right there.
我就说说 二垒你触手可得...
