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Actually, all I did was invite you.
其实， 我只是邀请了你而已
Well, put your mind at ease.
好了， 你就放宽心吧
I'm here to make sure your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass.
有我相助， 霍华德的晚宴一定会被你的晚宴打得落花流水
Now, the first thing we need is a theme.
现在我们首先需要确定一个主题
I'm thinking... ah, turnofthecentury Moulin Rouge.
我在想19到20世纪之交时期的红磨坊
I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch.
我觉得你需要贴睾酮贴片增加雄性激素了
Penny and I just want to do something lowkey.
我和佩妮是想以低调为主
You know, cocktails,light jazz music, hors d'oeuvres.
就像鸡尾酒轻柔的爵士乐， 开胃小吃
So your theme is "I saw a rerun of Mad Men and bought some crab puffs from Trader Joe's"?
所以你的主题是"我看了一集《广告狂人》的重播然后从连锁超市买来蟹肉酥"
Hate to miss that.Hey, where have you been? Oh, Leonard.
我可不想错过。你去哪里了？莱纳德
If I was prone to sarcasm,I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets.
如果我要讥讽你的话我会说我刚在洗衣篮博物馆里干了一票大劫案
One, two, three, four, five,six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
一， 二， 三， 四， 五六， 七， 八， 九， 十（愤怒控制）
I meant, "Golly, Sheldon, you've been gone a long time."
我是说， "天啊， 谢尔顿你刚去了有够久的"
Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy.
因为我被佩妮和伯纳黛特还有艾米拦住问话了
They made me reveal confidential information about Howard's father.
她们让我泄露霍华德父亲的机密信息
What information? I can't tell you that.
什么信息？我不能告诉你们
I am bound by closet organizer/ organizee confidentiality.
我必须遵守衣橱主人和整理者之间的保密协议
Well, come on, we won't tell anyone.
拜托啦， 我们不会告诉任何人的
Sorry, badgering me won't work.
抱歉， 纠缠我也没用
What you should have said is, "It's pointless to keep this a secret because Penny will tell us."
你应该这么说，"没必要保守这个秘密因为佩妮会告诉我们的"
Fine, then that. All right, I'll tell you.
那我问佩妮， 好吧， 我告诉你们
My goodness, everyone's on their game today.This is really fun.
天啊， 今天每个人都很会找理由嘛。这真的很好玩
Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up once in a while.
是啊， 偶尔穿正装也不错
Yeah, and hors d'oeuvres are delightful.
对啊， 开胃小吃令人愉悦
As is the company.
就像我的女伴
My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.
我的衣服痒死了， 真希望死了算了
Hey, uh, listen, everybody.
大家， 听着
Before Howard gets here, let's all just agree to not bring up the letter from his father.
在霍华德来之前， 我们统一口径不要提起他父亲的信
Of course. Sure. Absolutely.
好，知道。当然不会。
If I say yes, can we turn off that Latin orgy music?
如果我也同意，能不能关掉那拉丁的放荡音乐
Ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these flights of stairs.
我们还得走这么多层楼梯真是太荒谬了
Yeah, try doing it in heels.I am. Wait.
对啊， 尤其是穿着高跟鞋。我就穿着呢。慢着
There's something I have to tell you.What?
我有话要对你说。什么？
I know what was in your dad's letter.
我知道那封信的内容了
Sheldon, I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you! I made him tell us.What? "Us"?
谢尔顿， 我发誓我一定要杀了你！是我逼他告诉我们的。"我们"
Who else knows? I know. Me, too.Same here.
谁还知道？我， 我也是。还有我
Shame on all of you. You know, too.
真为你们感到羞耻。你不也知道了吗
Couldn't leave him with one friend, could you?
非得全军覆没， 就不能给他留一个朋友吗
So everybody knows what's in that letter except for me?
所以除了我大家都知道那封信的内容
Yes, it's six against one. Stand down, sir.
对， 现在是六对一。别轻举妄动， 先生
How could you do this? I'm sorry.
你怎么能这样呢？对不起。
If you want, we could tell you.
如果你想知道， 我们可以告诉你
No, I don't want to know!
不， 我不想知道
I mean,I do, but...I got to go. Used me as a human shield?
我是说我是想知道， 但...我要走了用我来当人肉盾牌
I panicked. He looked taller than usual.
人家慌了嘛。他比平时看起来高大
Howard? In here.I'm sorry.
霍华德， 这里。对不起
I should have left it alone.It's okay.
我不应该多事的。没关系
Sorry I ran off like that.
抱歉我就这么走了
What are you looking at?
你在看什么
Uh, pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid.
我小时候跟爸爸的合照
That's nice. I got to tell you,
那很好啊， 不得不说
as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing,
虽然谢尔顿泄密让我很生气
he did a hell of a job organizing this closet.Look at this.
但他的确把这个衣橱整理得很好。瞧瞧这个
"Photos of Wolowitz family before father left forever."
"父亲永别前， 沃罗威茨一家照片"
Check out nineyearold Howie with cornrows.
瞧九岁时满头小辫子的华仔
Neither race was happy to see me with those.
无论黑人犹太人， 看了都会不爽
Think you could take a break? Why?
你想不想休息一下， 为什么
Got a little surprise for you.Come on.Oh, honey...
我有个惊喜要给你。来吧，亲爱的
I am in no mood to have sex tonight.
我今晚没心情做爱
I'll lay there if you absolutely have to have it, but...
如果你一定要做那我就勉强躺在下面好了
What are you guys doing here?
你们来这里干嘛
When you left, you weren't sure whether or not
你走时并没有很明确表明
you wanted to know what was in your dad's letter,
自己是否想知道信上的内容
so we came up with kind of a cool solution.
所以我们想出了一个很酷的解决办法
Oh, yeah, what's that? It's simple, really.
是吗， 是什么？很简单
It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing
我突然意识到， 知道和不知道
can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example of quantum superposition.
可以通过创造量子力学叠加状态的宏观例子来完成
Thethe principle that a physical system exists partially in all its possible states at once.
原理是物理系统部分存在于所有可能状态
We were all thinking it, really.
我们都是这样想的， 真的
It was kind of the elephant in the room, so...
这就像房里的大象一样（显而易见）
Anyway, um, I realize if we each present you with an account of what your father wrote to you,
总之， 我意识到如果我们每人对你父亲信件的内容作出一番陈述
only one of which is true, and then we don't tell you which one it is,
但只有一个是真的我们不告诉你哪个是真的
you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence.Yeah.
你会永远处于认知的矛盾状态中。对
And I said if it wasn't epistemic, we might as well not do it.
我说如果不是认知的咱们就干脆别忙活了
Sit down, honey. Raj, you're up.Okay, um...
坐下， 亲爱的。拉杰， 你先来。好的
It was a card for your 18th birthday.
那是一张庆祝你18岁的生日卡
Inside it said,"Happy birthday, Howard. I love you. Dad."
上面写着"生日快乐， 霍华德。我爱你， 老爸"
Oh, and it was a Far Side card,the one where the frog has its tongue stuck to the underside of an airplane.
而且还是一张搞笑贺卡一只青蛙的舌头粘在了飞机的下面
Thinks it's a fly.Silly frog. So funny. Sheldon.
它以为飞机是苍蝇。白痴青蛙， 太搞笑了谢尔顿
It was a map leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate OneEyed Willy.Nice try.
那是一张藏宝图， 可以找到着名海盗独眼韦利传说中的宝藏亏你想的到
That's the plot for Goonies. Told you. Don't.Amy.
这是《七宝奇谋》的情节早说了， 闭嘴，艾米
You didn't know it,but your father was in the auditorium at your high school graduation.
你并不知道，但你高中毕业时你父亲在观众席上
And he cried because he was so proud of you.Really?
他哭了， 因为他为你骄傲。真的吗？
Or that's complete poppycock which Amy made up.It still could be the map.Penny.
也有可能完全是艾米瞎编的废话，藏宝图才是真的。佩妮
It was a letter explaining that your dad wasn't who he said he was.
那封信是解释你父亲的真实身份
Eventually, his other life caught up to him,
当时他另一个身份的麻烦找上了他
and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave.
唯一保护你们母子安全的办法就是他离开
I would like to change mine.
我想改变我的故事
The pirate's name was PegLeg Antoine.
海盗的名字其实叫假腿安托万
Now it's completely different from Goonies.
现在和《七宝奇谋》就完全不同了
No, it's not. Don't.Okay, my turn.
没什么区别， 闭嘴。到我了
Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing,
你爸写的是， 家庭是世界上最重要的
and that you should never throw it away like he did. Bernadette.
希望你不要像他那样不懂珍惜。伯纳黛特
Inside the envelope was a picture of your dad holding you the day you were born.
信封里有张照片拍的是你出生时你爸抱着你
On the back he wrote,"Howard, my son, my greatest gift."
照片背后他写着"霍华德， 儿子， 你是我最好的礼物"
You okay? Yeah. I'm terrific.So...? Which one do you think it is...matey?
你还好吗？没事。好得不得了。那么你觉得哪一个是真的好兄弟（海盗用语）
Actually, I don't want to know. I...want all of them to be true.
事实上， 我不想知道我希望这些全是真的
Well, one of them is. That's pretty cool. Thank you, guys.Hey, it's still early.
有一个是真的，那非常好！谢谢各位。时间还早
Why don't we go back and have that party? Yeah, cool.
不如回去继续开派对吧？好的
You know, surprisingly,uh, the letter from your father wasn't the most interesting thing I read in the closet.
出人意料的是你父亲的信并不是我在衣橱里看到的最有意思的东西
Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages.
伯纳黛特日记的内容相当有料啊
Sheldon, don't you dare!
谢尔顿， 你敢
ThThere's nothing to worry about.
不用担心
Your secret's safe with me.
我不会泄露你的秘密
That's more like it.
这还差不多
Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the context of a review.
不过版权法允许我在回忆时引用其中的片段
Glad you're feeling better. Me, too.
我很开心你心情好些了。我也是
If I'd known we were gonna be dancing, would have worn my flats.
如果我知道我们要跳舞就穿平底鞋来了
This turned out pretty well, huh? Yeah, I think so. I agree.
派对真不错啊？我也这样想。我同意
That is, if you've never been to or heard of a party before.
前提是从未参加或听说过派对
If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place, you'd be happy all the time.
如果你让我在你脑袋上正确的位置用根滚烫的针刺一下， 你就会永远开心了
Uh, Penny, II have a couple of questions about your closet.
佩妮，关于你的衣橱， 我有几个问题
Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
你保留这只死鱼是有原因的吗
Damn, I forgot to feed him.And that I had him.
见鬼， 我忘记喂食了也忘记我养了鱼
Well, now, did you also have a dog?
你还养了狗吗
Because I found what appears to be a batteryoperated chew toy.Party's over! Party's over!
我找到了一个电池驱动的咬咬玩具。派对结束， 派对结束
