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Oh! How do you not make a first down there?
噢!你在那儿首攻怎么会不成功呢?
They passed against a nickel defense. They should have run it off-tackle.
他们过了个五防守阵型，他们应该跑躲避拦截的路线
How the hell do you know that?
你怎么知道这个的?
My father loved football.
我爸以前喜欢橄榄球
He always made me watch it before I was allowed to do my homework.
他总逼我看，没看完之前我不许做作业
Well, you'll be happy to know I just spoke to Zack and he's willing to sign the court papers.
现在你会很乐意知道我刚刚和扎克通过电话，他说他愿意在法庭文件上签字
He's on his way here now.
他就在来的路上了
Wait, you invited him here? Yeah.
等等，你邀请他来这儿了? 对啊
I'm getting ready to weigh in again. Come on.
我又准备好发表意见了。来这边吧
What do you think they ought to do now?
你觉得他们现在该怎么做?
I would throw a quick slant to a wideout, given that the defense is showing blitz.
如果是我会做个迅速斜线进攻扔个一个边线，鉴于防守呈现闪电战局面
Oh, I love a good blitz, especially with sour cream.
噢，我超爱绝佳闪电战，尤其是有酸奶油的
Get it? 'Cause it sounds like "blintz."
没听懂吗?因为这听着像"薄饼卷"啊
Did someone say "blintz"?!
有人说薄饼卷吗?
I just don't understand why you invited him here today.
我就是不明白，你今天为什么邀请他来
Because you wouldn't shut up about it.
因为你就是咬着不放
When I called him, he had nothing to do, so I just thought it would... Hey, guys, I'm trying to cook in here.
我打给他的时候，他没事可做，所以我想着...嘿，我在这儿做饭呢
Oh, sorry. We'll keep it down.
噢，对不起，我们会小点声的
No, no, speak up.
不不不，大点儿声
I'm about to use the blender, and I don't want to miss anything.
我马上要用搅拌机了，我可不想错过任何事情
Well, you might have to cook for one more because she invited Zack.
好吧，你可能得再做多一人份了，因为她邀请了扎克来
What? Ooh! My, my. The plot, like my gravy, thickens.
神马? 噢天啊!啧啧啧，剧情如我的肉汁，愈发香浓呢
I don't care for your mother's bathroom.
我不喜欢你母亲的卫生间
There's not an angle to do one's business without a clown figurine staring at you.
没有一个角度可以解决私人问题，而不被一个小丑雕像盯着的
That's why I sit.
这就是我坐着的原因
Yeah, that's why.
对，原因是这个
You remember the Thanksgiving game when it snowed in Dallas?
你记得那场感恩节时的比赛吗，达拉斯州下雪的时候
1993-Leon Lett blew the game in the final seconds and the Dolphins emerged victorious.
1993年，Leon Lett在最后一秒毁了比赛，然后Dolphins获胜了
Then I finally got to do my calculus.
而我终于可以做微积分去了
I was so pissed, I wanted to shoot my TV.
我当时气得想一枪射了我的电视
So was my dad.
我爸也是
And then he did.
而且他也那么做了
Anyone need a beer? Yeah. Thank God.
有人要喝啤酒吗?好的。谢谢老天爷
So, does your dad still live in Texas?
那么，你爸爸还住在德克萨斯州吗?
No. He died when I was 14.
不，他在我14岁时去世了
I'm sorry to hear that.
听到这个真难过
So was the man who owned the local liquor store.
当地小酒馆的老板也很难过
He cried and cried.
他哭了一遍又一遍
Here you go. Oh, thanks.
给，哦谢谢
So, if your dad died when you were 14, you were never old enough to have a beer with the man.
这么说，如果你父亲在你14岁时过世了，你年龄还从未大到可以和他喝啤酒
No, sir. He did try to give me one for my high school graduation, but I was 11 and my mom said no.
是的。他确实试图在我高中毕业时给我一瓶，但我才11岁，我妈说不行
Well, you're having one with me.
好吧，你来跟我一起喝一罐吧
All right. To your dad.
好吧。敬你的父亲
I never had a beer with my dad, either.
我也从未和我爸喝过啤酒
Do you mind? We're having a moment here.
不好意思，我们在这共度时光呢
I can't believe Penny's married to Zack.
难以置信佩妮已经嫁给扎克了
Wonder what she saw in that guy.
不知道她看上那小子什么了。
I don't know. He's sweet, he's tall, handsome.
我不知道，他又温柔，又高，又帅
Broad shoulders, good hair.
宽厚的肩膀，漂亮的头发
Hmm. Wonder what she sees in Leonard.
嗯，不知道他看上莱纳德什么了
How's it going out there?
外面怎么样?
Sheldon and your dad are bonding and completely ignoring me.
谢尔顿在和你爸联络感情，我被完全忽视
I know how you feel.
我了解你的感受
Sheldon ignored me for a week when he got that Roomba vacuum.
谢尔顿有Roomba自动吸尘器的时候，忽视了我一周
I kick it when he's not looking.
我会趁他不注意的时候踢它
What are they doing?
他们在干嘛?
They're drinking beer and watching football. So why don't you do that with them?
喝啤酒看橄榄球， 那你怎么不一块儿?
They don't want me.
他们不想让我一起
What do you mean?
这是什么意思?
Well, Sheldon started talking about how his dad isn't alive anymore, and they were toasting, and I tried to tell them about how sad I was when my dad abandoned...Zack's here!
谢尔顿说起他爸爸已经不在了，然后他们就开始祝酒，我也试着去告诉他们，他爸抛弃我时有多难过...扎克到了!
Stir the gravy.
搅拌肉汁
Sorry. I really want to hear how sad you are. I'll be back in like five, ten minutes.
抱歉，我真的想听你有多难过，我会在五到十分钟后回来
Sorry she made you come over here on a holiday.
抱歉她让你在节日里跑一趟
It's all right. I didn't have anything going on.
没什么，我反正也没在做什么
Plus, Penny told me we're married, and Thanksgiving's a time to be with family.
再说佩妮告诉我，我们结婚了，感恩节就是亲人团聚的日子嘛
Yeah, okay, great. Can we just get this over with?
行行。那就赶紧签了吧?
Yeah, uh, you guys have to sign here and here.
好，你们要在这里...还有这里签名
On Monday, we'll file for the annulment, and this "marriage" will be over.
周一就可以申请废除婚姻，然后这场"婚姻"就结束了
Okay. I don't know if I want to sign it. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
签好了，我还没想好要不要签。唔? 唔。
Why won't you sign it?
为什么你不想签?
I just think splitting up can be rough on kids.
我只是觉得离婚了，孩子们不好过啊
We don't have any kids.
我们又没小孩
Are you sure? 'Cause you didn't know we were married until this morning.
你确定吗?因为你也是今天早上才知道我们结婚了
Okay, look, Zack, come on. You know neither of us thought this was real. I mean, we were married by an Elvis impersonator.
扎克你听我说，你清楚我们俩谁也没以为那是真的啊，我们的证婚人还是猫王模仿达人啊
Of course it was an impersonator.
当然是找模仿达人啦
We could never afford a real Elvis.
我们哪有钱请猫王本人啊
You married him instead of me?
你嫁给他，而不嫁我?
Good call.
有眼光
Sign the papers. Hang on. You know what? You have been a jerk about this all day.
快签，等下，你知道吗?你一天都因为这事咄咄逼人
You always do this... whenever I mess up, you're right there to make me feel even worse about it.
你老是这样...我每次搞砸什么事，你就不遗余力地让我感觉更糟
That is not true. Yeah, we could've waited till Monday, signed the papers, this all would have been over.
才不是呢，是吗，我们明明可以等到周一，直接签字，这件事就可以结束了啊
You're the one who invited him here. Oh, there you go again... just another mistake you're throwing in my face. Not cool, bro.
是你请他过来的，又来啦...又一个推卸到我身上的错误。这可不对哦，兄弟
I'm starting to think you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife.
我开始觉得我不喜欢你这样的人和我老婆约会
Yeah, well, she's not gonna be your wife for long.
那个...她很快就不是你老婆了
Oh, no. Are you dying?
不是吧，你快死了吗?
I'm about to. Sign the paper.
快了...签字吧
Know what they say: "Happy wife, happy life." Let's eat.
俗话说得好，媳妇开心，夫复何求。开饭吧
Two, three, eight, four, six.
二，三，八，四，六
That's all I can do without throwing up.
我只能做到这里了，不然就吐了
That is not what I expected when you said you were gonna burp "pie."
你说你要打嗝打出个“派”的时候我可没想到是这样的
Did somebody say "pie"?!
是不是有人说要"派"呀?!
I don't know what's scarier: the bathroom clowns or the woman that put them there.
我都说不清以下哪样更恐怖:浴室小丑呢，还是把小丑放在浴室的女人
All I know is you can only fit one of her in a car.
我只知道你只能把一个她放到车里去
And there's the clown that came out of her.
这就是她生出来的那个小丑
I really didn't want to come here, but this is shaping up to be one of the best Thanksgivings I've had in a long time. Me, too.
我本来挺不想来的，但是这马上就要变成多年来我过的最棒的感恩节了。我也是
Hey. Howie says you've been making fun of him all day!
嘿， 华仔说你们一整天都在拿他开涮
Now, both of you apologize right now!
你们俩现在就向他道歉，现在!
She's so tiny.
她好迷你啊
It's funny when she's mad.
她发飙了好有趣哦
All right, mister, I think you owe Howard and Bernadette an apology.
好了，这位先生，我觉得你欠霍华德和伯纳黛特一个道歉
Perhaps you're right.
你说得对
I'm sorry for my behavior.
我对我的所作所为感到抱歉
I've had alcohol, and it's caused me to be inappropriate.
我喝了点酒，导致我行为不端
It's okay. Don't worry about it. Thank you.
没事，别放心上。谢谢
Ain't she great? Mmm.
她是不是很棒?是呀
Sheldon. Now, how's about you get us a couple of beers?
谢尔顿别闹，那去给我们拿点啤酒来吧
Thanks again for cooking.
再次谢谢你下厨掌勺
Yeah, everything was delicious.
是呀，每样都很好吃
Well, I couldn't have done it without my two favorite girls.
要是没两位我最爱的姑娘帮我，我也搞不定
Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray.
玛莎·斯图尔特(富商及专栏作家)和蕾切尔·雷(电视烹饪女王)
Hey, Sheldon, what do you say we go outside and throw around the old pigskin?
谢尔顿，我们要不要出去，去玩玩老猪皮(即:橄榄球)?
This is a Jewish house. I don't think they have pigskin.
这是个犹太家庭，我觉得不会有猪皮
Did someone say "pigskin"?
是不是有人说到"猪皮"啦?
Hey, honey, I'm sorry about today.
亲爱的，今天的事我很抱歉
And I promise, next time I get married, it won't be a joke.
我向你保证，下次我结婚的时候，不会再当玩笑了
It'll be for love. Or money.
我会为爱而结婚，或者为钱
I'm sorry, too.
我也很抱歉
Don't be. It's my fault.
别内疚，都是我的错
I was a terrible husband.
我是个糟糕的丈夫
I was never around.
我从来没好好陪她
I know I'm hard on you, but you're not the worst son-in-law in the world.
我知道我对你很严格，但你还不算是世界上最烂的女婿
Mike, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Mike
这是你对我过说的最感人的话了
Well, I'm drunk.
是呀是呀，我喝多了
I just vomited on a lot of clowns.
我刚刚吐了很多小丑一身
