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Excuse me. I have to break up with my girlfriend.
失陪一下，我必须要去和我女朋友分手
Oh, Sheldon, wait. No.
不，谢尔顿，等等
You've opened my eyes to the truth.
你让我看清了真相
Amy has made me a more affectionate, open-minded person.
艾米把我变成了一个更深情，更豁达的人
And that stops now.
不能再这么下去了
Well, we should call her. Yeah, mm-hmm.
我们应该给她打个电话，是的
Amy, it's Penny. Hey. Just a little heads-up.
艾米，我是佩妮，嘿，给你提个醒
Leonard bought a dining room table.
莱纳德买了一张餐桌
Yeah. Sheldon's breaking up with you.
是的，谢尔顿要和你分手
Amy? Amy? Amy? I'll get right to the point.
艾米?艾米?艾米?我开门见山吧
I think we need to end this relationship, so...
我想我们应该结束这段恋情，所以...
just sign this with your finger, and, uh, please don't cry on my iPad I didn't get AppleCare.
用你的手指，签下这个，还有别哭湿我的iPad，我没有买苹果的保修
I'm not surprised you want to end the relationship.
你要结束我们的关系我并不惊讶
I'm a little surprised you didn't get AppleCare.
我只是有点惊讶你没有苹果保修
Anyway, enjoy your life. Where do I sign?
不管怎样，祝你生活愉快，在哪签字?
At the bottom. I must say, I'm relieved you're not making more of a scene out of this.
在底下，我必须说，你没有对此大吵大闹让我感到安心
Oh, I've already moved on.
我已经移情别恋了
Besides, this breakup has nothing to do with me.
再说，这次分手和我丝毫没关系
It doesn't?
是吗?
Of course not. This is just Leonard trying to take the focus off that dreadful table by sowing discord in our relationship.
当然没有了，这只是莱纳德想在我们中间挑拨离间，好让注意力从那张糟糕的餐桌上转移走
He's manipulating you like he always does.
他就像往常一样在操纵你
Wait-wait, now, hang on.
等等等...你等会儿!
You think he manipulates me?
你是说他在操控我?
All the time.
一直都是啊
And he knew that, as your girlfriend, I wasn't gonna stand by and let him bring a table into your apartment.
而且他预料到作为你的女朋友，当我看到他买了张桌子回你们家时肯定不会就此坐视不管的
I mean, a table? Come on!
想想就知道啊!一张桌子哎!
It is hideous.
这太可恶了!
Well, thankfully, I won't have to see it, 'cause I won't be your girlfriend anymore.
不过，幸好我以后眼不见心不烦，因为我不再是你女朋友了
Amy Farrah Fowler. Why, yes, I would like to take a survey. Wait.
艾米·菲拉·福勒。哎?当然，我愿意做个调查问卷!你等会儿!
You were really gonna stand by me against the dining room table?
你真心是准备支持我把那张破餐桌弄走?
Of course I was.
我当然是这样打算的!
Yeah, wait. How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
好吧，等等，我怎么知道你现在不是在以此来操纵我呢?
I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
我觉得要是我操纵你的感情的话，你这么聪明肯定会察觉的
How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?
那我怎么知道你说这话不是为了想要操纵我呢?
I think you'd be smart enough to see that, too.
你这么聪明肯定也会察觉到的
Okay. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time... I just had to be sure.
有道理，不好意思为难你了，我只是想确信一下
It's pretty exciting that NASA wants to send Howard back up.
真是令人兴奋啊，国家航空航天局想送霍华德再上太空
Yeah, exciting. Can I ask you something? Course.
是挺让人兴奋的，我问你啊。你说
He hated that entire experience.
他恨死上次去太空的经历了
Does it make me an awful wife if I don't think he should do it again?
我要是觉得他这次不该去的话会不会显得我这当老婆的很糟糕?
Not at all. He's forgotten how miserable he was the entire time he was up there.
不会啊，是他自己不记得他上次上去的时候是一段多么不堪回首的往事
It's like me in those moments when I miss India.
就好比我自己有时候也会犯贱追忆一下印度的生活
So you'll talk to him? Why me?
那你跟他谈谈吧?为什么是我?
Well, I'm his wife; I don't want to ruin it for him.
因为我是他老婆啊，这种毁他心情的事当然不能我来做
That's the dynamic-I'm the fun one, you're the buzzkill.
向来都是这种节奏啊:我是开心果，你是毒舌
Since when am I the buzzkill?
我什么时候毒舌了?
Do you think this is cool?
你觉得这个酷不酷?
No, I think it's stupid. Aha!
我觉得二爆了，你瞧!
You're right, it's great.
还是你说得对，的确很酷
Hello. Oh, hey. You guys didn't break up.
你们好，哦嘿!你俩没分成啊
No. Sorry to disappoint you, but Amy pointed out that you were only trying to manipulate me.
没，让你失望了，但是艾米说了你就是想操控我
Which you also figured out by yourself. Which I also figured out by myself.
这是你自己开动小脑筋发现的。这可是我自己开动小脑筋发现的
Well, I'm glad you're still together.
好吧，你们没分手我很开心
Yeah, okay, you can stop trying to make this about our relationship.
行了行了，别再误导我，让我觉得这是我们俩的感情问题
Which is stronger than ever. Which is stronger than ever.
我们的情比金坚，我们情比金坚!
This is about you trying to change my environment, which was perfect the way it was.
重点明明就是你想要改变我的生活环境，我原本完美的生活环境
But it got the way it was through change.
但是这个环境就是经历了变化后才得来的
The-the spot that you love to sit in, that no one else can sit in, only exists because, despite your objections... I bought this couch.
这个你钟情的，别人不能坐的座位，之所以存在，完全是因为我当年在你强力反对下，坚持买了这个沙发
Me. So explain why that change was bad and this change was good.
我!那你说说看，为什么眼下的改变不好而这个曾经的改变就是好的?
Um... You don't need to explain yourself to him. I don't need to explain myself to you!
额...你用不着跟他解释你怎么想。我才不用跟你解释我怎么想!
You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in with me.
你受够了他整天无理取闹，准备搬来跟我一块儿住!
Keep the table! We don't use that space!
桌子留那儿吧!反正那地方闲着也是闲着!
Damn it, I got cocky.
丫的，我太忘形了!
Hey, Bernie. I'm home... Hello.
嘿，妮妮!我回来了!咦?
Hi, honey. What's going on?
嗨，亲爱的。怎么了?
Maybe you should have a seat. Um... okay.
你还是先坐下再说吧。啊，行
I know my mom's not dead; there'd be balloons.
肯定不是我妈死了，不然肯定会放气球的
First off, know that we all love you and cherish you.
首先呐，你知道我们都是真心爱护珍惜你的
Well, I wouldn't... Daddy.
我可不...爸!
You're great.
你很棒
Can I say something? Oh, of course.
我能说两句么?当然
Hey, Fruit Loops.
嘿，果圈儿啊
Massimino? Why are you here?
马西米诺，你在这儿干嘛呢?
Well, I heard you were thinking about going back up to the space station, and as someone who's been there with you...
那个，我听说你在考虑重返太空站的事，作为一个跟你在太空站里共事过的人
well, you know how astronauts need to have the "right stuff"? Sure.
你知道作为宇航员你要有一些"必要的东西"?知道啊
The stuff you have is wrong.
你有的都是不必要的
You don't think I did a good job up there?
你觉得我在上面的工作干得不好?
You did a fine job.
干得还可以
It's just, you were scared and miserable the whole time.
只是你一直都惊恐不已，可怜兮兮
I think what we're all trying to say is, you don't seem to be remembering how traumatic the experience was for you.
我们想对你说的是你似乎不记得那次宇宙之行给你带了的恐惧
Like how women often forget the pain of childbirth.
就像女人经常忘了分娩之痛
Like a woman. Great analogy.
跟娘们一样，类比得好
Fine, maybe I was a little scared.
好吧，我可能是有点害怕
You peed in your space suit.
你都尿在航空服里了
You're supposed to do that.
本来就应该这么干啊
Not during the fitting.
可不是在试穿的时候好么
Son, do I need to remind you what you asked me to do before you went up last time?
孩子，需要我提醒你上次走之前你让我做什么了吗
Hang on. That was just me joking around.
等下，那只是开开玩笑
You wanted me to shoot you in the foot.
你想让我对你的脚开枪
Come on, how is that not a joke? "You got to get me out of this. Shoot me in the foot."
这不就是个笑话嘛，"你得帮我逃过一劫"，"对我的脚开一枪吧"
Don't forget all the other astronauts picking on you.
别忘了其他那些宇航员都欺负你
And how you threw up in zero gravity, and it floated back in your mouth.
而且你在零重力的时候吐了出来，然后又吞了回去
And you threw up again.
又吐出来
And so on and so on.
一遍又一遍
That was funny.
那个超搞笑
Okay, so I wasn't exactly John Glenn up there, but I've changed; I'm a different man now.
就算我在上面不像约翰·格林（美国首位环绕地球飞行的宇航员），但我已经变了，脱胎换骨了
Yeah, and I'm a little insulted that you guys don't think I can handle it.
你们都不相信我搞的定，我觉得有点侮辱人
You know you're gonna have to go through survival training again. Really?
你知道你还得参加一次求生训练，真的吗?
You've got to get me out of this!
你必须得帮我逃过这劫!
What do you want me to do? You're perfectly healthy. Check my blood pressure again! I can get it higher; just give me a second.
你想让我做什么?你身体完全健康，再给我量一次血压!我能让它升高，等下
Hello? Hi, Ma. How are you?
喂?妈妈，你还好吗?
How I am is not dead!
反正还没死!
But you wouldn't know that, because you don't love me enough to pick up the phone! Go, go, go!
但你都不知道，因为你不爱我到都不接电话了!快量快量!
For all you know, I could have slipped in the tub and drowned!
你不知道，我可能会滑倒在浴缸把自己淹死!
That's what happened to your Aunt Ida! Wow.
你的艾达姑姑就是这么死的!哇
Howard, I'm so sorry your blood pressure was off the charts.
霍华德，很遗憾你的血压过高
it just seemed so darned dishonest.
那样太他妈的阴险了
But the mission wouldn't be for at least a year.
但是任务至少一年后才会指派
Isn't that enough time to get your blood pressure under... Look, my blood pressure's too high, okay? Drop it.
你不是有足够的时候让血压降...我的血压就是太高了，行了吧?别追究了
You know, my aunt changed her diet, and in a few months, she... Went to space?
跟你说，我姑姑通过调整饮食，几个月后，她...就去太空了?
I don't think so. Now, pass the soy sauce.
我想没有吧，行吧，酱油给我递下
Hey, not the green one; the red one.
不是绿色那瓶，给我红色的
Sheldon, Amy, will you please come join us?
谢尔顿，艾米，拜托你们坐过来吧?
Yeah, it's fun up here.
在这很有趣哦
So why are you trying to ruin it?
那你为什么想毁气氛?
No, thanks. We're fine. I mean, if you people want to eat at the table, then that's what you should do.
不用了，谢谢，我们挺好的，如果你们想在桌上吃饭，那就在桌上吃吧
I like eating down here because this is how we've always done things.
我喜欢在这吃因为我们一直都这样
But if those days are gone, they're gone.
但如果说时过境迁，那就让它迁吧
It just... makes me sad.
只是...有点感伤
Now I feel bad. Oh, don't anthropomorphize him; he's got big eyes, but his feelings are not like ours.
我觉得有点难过。别把他想得这么有人性，虽然他有双大眼睛，但是他的感受跟我们不同
No, it just seems silly for us to sit in two groups. Well, it's not silly if you think of that group as being led by a big, evil baby.
我只是觉得我们非要分开坐好幼稚。一点都不幼稚，你得把他们想成是一个被邪恶大婴儿领导的组织
Look at Amy down there.
你看看艾米
Should we go?
我们过去吧?
Yeah, let's go. But... Penny, this was your idea. You said that I should stand up to him.
行行，去吧，但是佩妮 ，这是你的主意啊，是你说我该勇敢地反抗他
Forget it, Leonard. It's over.
算了吧，莱纳德，当我没说
Fine. Rajesh? Screw that! I sat on the floor for seven years. I'm staying right here!
好吧，拉杰什你不来?去死!我在地上坐了7年，我就坐这了!
Come on, Raj, it's not the same without you. Fine.
来吧，拉杰，没你感觉就不一样了。好吧
But no more making fun of how I say tings.
但是不准再嘲笑我的"口硬"
You mean "tings" like "moo-stache"?
你说的"口硬"是指"小福子"吗?
Well, isn't this nice.
是不是很有爱
Sometimes the baby wins.
有时候婴儿也是会赢的
