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Max, you will not believe what just came addressed to you.
麦克斯，你不会相信是谁寄信来了。
Let me explain. I'm not a Scientologist.
我先解释下，我不是山达基教徒。
I just went that one time because I heard some rich guy was looking for a wife.
我只去过那一次，因为我听说有个有钱人在征婚。
No, we've been pre-approved for a credit card.
不是啦，我们申请的信用卡被预先核准了。
What? How the hell did we get pre-approved?
什么，我们怎么会被预先核准呢？
It says all we have to do is go online and apply and we can be approved in under two minutes.
上面说我们只要上网申请，两分钟内就能获批。
Slow down, Quasimodo. I can't have a credit card.
别着急，钟楼怪人。我不能有信用卡。
Someone gave me a bag of chips Ahoy cookies once and I ate the entire thing without breathing.
有人给了我一包趣多多饼干，我一口气全吃光了。
Well, you're not a child anymore. You have more discipline.
你又不是小孩子了。你有自控能力。
The cookies were yesterday. Okay, what is that thing? What is that spinning wheel?
这是昨天的事。那是什么，那个旋转的轮子是什么意思？
It's just processing our application.
那是在处理我们的申请
No, it's not. It's finding out everything about us.
不，不是的。它是在查出我们的一切。
Now it's finding out your dad stole millions of dollars.
这一秒它查出你父亲偷了数百万美元。
Now it's finding out I got fired from eight Dairy Queens.
这一秒它查出我被八家DQ冰淇淋店解雇过。
Now it's finding out why I got fired from eight dairy queens.
这一秒它查出我被八家DQ店解雇的原因。
Oh, my god. Max, we're approved. We've just been approved.
天啊，麦克斯，我们通过了。我们的申请通过了。
What? What is wrong with them? Does dairy queen report nothing?
搞毛啊，他们有病吗？难道DQ店毛都没举报吗？
Get back on there and disapprove us.
重新回去查，拒绝我们的申请
Okay. Calm down. We need this card for our business.
好了，冷静。为了事业，我们需要这张卡。
All we have to do is communicate with each other about every purchase, you know? Keep an open dialogue.
我们只需如实与对方沟通每一笔花销就行了。开诚布公。
So, opening dialogue. For our business,I would like a pair of Louboutins.
所以，开诚布公地说。出于商业需要，我要买双美鞋。
Opening dialogue. No. And I felt stupid miming that. I hate the arts.
开诚布公地说，不行。这种模仿哑剧的对话蠢爆了，我讨厌艺术。
Look, you can't get everything you want. I would like a box of lizards.
你不能想要什么，就买什么。我还想要一盒子蜥蜴呢。
Love lizards, always have, but you don't see me putting that on a credit card.
我一直很喜欢蜥蜴，但我也没有要用信用卡买啊。
I need a new pair of shoes for business meetings.
我是为了商业洽谈才买新鞋子的
You know what they say, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have".
俗话说得好，"佛要金装，人要衣装"。
Okay, fine. If you're getting the shoes, then I'm getting what I want.
好吧，如果你要买美鞋，那我也要买。
I hope you're happy with an apartment full of lizards and lipstick.
希望你不会介意一屋子全是蜥蜴和唇膏。
Also, some of those lizards will be wearing lipstick.
并且，还会有涂着唇膏的蜥蜴哟。
