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You don't have to read it, Han. It's just a standard letter of recommendation.
不用读啦，阿憨。只是一封标准的正常推荐信而已。
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
少唧唧歪歪。乖乖签字就对了。
I'm not comfortable putting my name on a document I haven't read.
没亲自读过的文件我没法放心签下名。
I understand, but don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
我懂，但你还是少唧唧歪歪。乖乖签字就是了。
"Max's homemade cupcakes is an up-and-coming powerhouse business."
"麦克斯自制小蛋糕是一个蒸蒸日上、发展强劲的小生意。"
I can't sign this. This has more lies than my Okcupid profile.
我不能签这个。这信比我的约会网站个人资料还鬼扯。
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it. That one's on me, girls.
少唧唧歪歪。快乖乖签字。我也帮你们说一句，姑娘们。
If I sign this, it's lying. I could get deported.
我签了字，就是合伙骗人。我可能会被遣送出境。
And I'm one home inspection away from a poodle adoption.
我可是只差一次家访就能领养贵宾狗了呢。
A poodle? That's cool. You can share sweaters.
贵宾狗啊？挺好的啊。你们衣服能换着穿。
Hurry up, bitch. The deadline to mail that is tonight.
快点啦，叽歪弟。今晚之前得把那信寄出去。
Well, if you just wanted to steamroll someone,
如果你们是想逼人签字，
why didn't you get your boyfriend, Andy, to sign it?
干嘛不去逼她男朋友安迪签字呢？
They split. He left last night without a peep.
他们分手了。他昨晚最后一面都没见就跑了。
Damn it, now I'm thinking about those Peeps again.
靠，我又想起棉花糖了。
Oh, I was worried you two wouldn't make it.
我早就担心你们俩会感情触礁了。
You always have your mind on business, and Andy was such an easy spirit.
你满脑子都是想着你的生意，而安迪又是个灵魂轻松的人。
I think you mean "free spirit."
你是想说灵魂向往自由吧。
Easy Spirit is a shoe worn by people whose spirits have died. I have two pairs.
"灵魂轻松"是灵魂已死的人才会去穿的鞋子品牌。我有两双。
Okay, fine. Give it back. I'll find someone else with a business.
行，不签就还给我。我找其他做生意的人吧。
What about Sophie? She owns a small business,
请苏菲签如何？她有个小生意啊，
and she loves to give, not as much as she loves to receive.
又乐意为他人奉献，虽然她更爱收下我的"爱"。
I'm not so sure Sophie's cleaning business is totally, well, legal.
但我不确定苏菲的家政生意是不是百分百合法呢。
I mean, when we worked for her, on the memo line of our paycheck, she wrote "Colonoscopy."
我们以前给她打过工，我们薪水支票的备忘栏她写了"结肠镜检查"呢。
And for the record, Sophie's cleaning business is totally legit.
我替她声明，她的家政生意绝对是合法的。
Her organ-trading might not be.
器官买卖的生意可能就不是了。
Forget it, Caroline. We might deport you ourselves. All we need is a Fedex box.
算了，卡洛琳。我们亲自把他遣送出境算了。反正用个快递盒就够装了。
Um, Caroline. Come over here. I think I can help you with that.
卡洛琳，过来一下。我应该能够帮你哦。
Thanks, Earl, but you don't have a small business.
谢了，厄尔，但是你没有小生意啊。
The size of my business has never been in question.
我裤裆里的"生意"从没有人怀疑过它小哦。
And I may not have a business. But... Han Lee does.
而我虽然没有什么小生意。但...李阿憨有啊。
Max, look. Earl forged Han's signature.
麦克斯，你看。厄尔伪造了阿憨的签名。
That's what his signature looks like.
原来他的签名是这样啊。
When I forge it, I just draw a picture of Hello Kitty.
我伪造他签名时都是画个凯蒂猫而已。
