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You owe me $250 for the blood test, Andy.
你欠我验血费250块，安迪。
And $9 for that drink.
还有9块钱酒钱。
Look, everybody just calm down. Andy, you may or may not have given her herpes.
你们俩先冷静下来。安迪，你可能有或没有传染疱疹给她。
She may or may not be overreacting. I may or may not have slept with that bartender.
她可能有或没有反应过度。我可能有或没有睡过那位酒保。
He is my type, and yet, he has a job, so he's not, and he goes in the "Maybes."
他虽然是我喜欢的型，但他现在还有工作，所以应该没有，那就把他归为"可能"那一类。
Look, Caroline, I'm really sorry, but I am totally clean.
卡洛琳，真的很抱歉，但我干净得很。
Since we broke up, I have only had safe sex with a special ed teacher and a dental hygienist.
分手之后，我只跟两个女人发生过安全性行为，一个是专科教师，一位是牙科清洁师。
I mean, that job has "hygiene" right in the title.
她的工作名都有着"清洁"两个字了。
Wait, oh, there were a couple of times where I did have unsafe sex with myself.
等等，是有那么几次我跟我的手有过危险性行为。
But only when I couldn't sleep. And a lot of other times.
但只有在我睡不着的时候。以及其他很多时候。
I will go get tested tomorrow, but please, in the meantime, try not to go to the worst-case scenario.
我明天就去做检测，但拜托，与此同时，不要总往最坏的情况想。
I'm not going to the worst-case scenario,
我没有往最坏的情况想，
but if we both have it, no one else is going to want us, so we should just get married.
但如果咱俩都中招了，那没人会要咱俩了，那我们只好结婚了。
"You gave me herpes, now you have to marry me."
"你若传我疱疹，我必生死相依。"
You want to save that gold for our wedding vows?
你想把这句金言当成我们的结婚誓词吗？
Well, if you don't use it, I will.
如果你们不用，那给我用吧。
