Step 1: Boost your self-esteem
Determine why you’re so uncomfortable around people. If it’s due to something you can fix—your teeth, your education level, your body—take action to feel better about yourself. Go to a dentist, take a night class, start to exercise.
第一步:增加自尊
要判明当周围有人时你感到不舒服的原因。如果是因为你一些你能搞定的事情——比如你的牙齿,教育水平,身体状况——采取行动来使你自我感觉更好些——可以去看牙医,参加夜校,开始锻炼。
Step 2: Practice conversation skills
Practice your conversation skills by chatting up people you’ll probably never see again—the woman behind you in the checkout line, the guy sitting next to you on the train, people walking their dogs.
第二步:练习交往技巧
通过和你周围的人聊天来练习谈话技巧,可能会和那些再也不能见面的人闲谈,比如付款处身后的女士,火车上坐在你身边的男士,遛狗的人们。
Step 3: Practice body language
When you have trouble clicking with someone verbally, try matching their body position physically. If they’ve got a hand on their hip, do the same—and their brain will be tricked into thinking you’re hitting it off!
第三步:练习身势语
如果在和别人交谈上你有问题,试着从身体的姿势上配合他们。如果他们将手放在臀部,你也照样做——这样他们头脑中就会反映出你正在模仿。
Step 4: Test your abilities
Once you’re confident you can start a conversation, test your newfound skills at group gatherings. And don’t just talk to one person and call it a night; the more you practice, the easier it will get.
第四步:测试你的能力
一旦你变得自信,就可以开始谈话,在大家聚会时来检验你新发现的新技巧。不要只和一个人谈话而到此为止。你练习得越多,谈话就会越容易。
Tip:Approach someone who is standing alone, looking uncomfortable; they’ll be grateful you made the first move, and you’ll get a confidence boost from their receptiveness.
贴士:接近那些独自站在一旁,看起来不自在的人,他们对你迈出第一步很有帮助,你将从他们的反应上获得自信。
Step 5: Breathe deeply
Practice the relaxation technique of deep breathing. That way, when you start to feel self-conscious, you’ll be able to calm yourself with a few deep breaths.
第五步:深呼吸
练习通过深呼吸来放松。如果你感到窘迫,可以通过几次深呼吸来使自己镇定。
Step 6: Relax
Whenever you walk into a room full of people, remind yourself that 48% of them are as nervous as you are—and the rest are too busy thinking about themselves to notice you!
第六步:放松
无论什么时候当你走进一个有很多人的屋子时,要提醒自己屋子里48%的人和你一样紧张,其余的正忙于想着自己的事而忽视你。