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And if we want to talk about male victims,
还有如果我们要谈男性受害者
let's talk about male victims.
让我们谈谈男性受害者
Most male victims of violence are the victims of other men's violence.
很多男性受害者被施暴于其他男性。
So that's something that both women and men have in common.
所以如果男性和女性有些共同点，
We are both victims of men's violence.
我们都是男性暴力下的受害者。
So we have it in our direct self-interest,
所以我们都有各自的目的。
not to mention the fact that most men that I know
事实上不得不说，我们知道很多男人拥有
have women and girls that we care deeply about,
我们关心的女人和女孩子。
in our families and our friendship circles and every other way.
在我们的家庭，我们的朋友圈子还有其他的。
So there's so many reasons why we need men to speak out.
所以有很多原因解释为什么我们需要男人提出这问题。
It seems obvious saying it out loud. Doesn't it?
这看起来很明显的需要说出来。不是吗？
Now, the nature of the work that I do and my colleagues do
现在，我和我的同事正在做的是，
in the sports culture and the U.S. military, in schools,
在传统的运动和美国军事和在学校，
we pioneered this approach called the bystander approach
我们带领着这方略名为“旁观者策略”
to gender violence prevention.
来防止性别暴力。
And I just want to give you the highlights of the bystander approach,
还有我要特别给你们提出这策略的要点，
because it's a big thematic shift,
因为这是很大的主题改观，
although there's lots of particulars,
虽然有很多详细的要点，
but the heart of it is, instead of seeing men as perpetrators
但这中心点是，不仅仅将男人看作施虐者，
and women as victims,
女人是受害者，
or women as perpetrators, men as victims,
或女人是施虐者，男人是受害者，
or any combination in there.
或者任何一个组合。
I'm using the gender binary. I know there's more
我在用着性别两极化。我知道的我们有的不仅仅是
than men and women, there's more than male and female.
男人和女人。这世上不仅仅有男性和女性。
And there are women who are perpetrators,
还有很多女人是施虐者，
and of course there are men who are victims.
当然还有很多男人是受虐者。
There's a whole spectrum.
这都是一系列的。
But instead of seeing it in the binary fashion,
但是，然而将之当作是性别两极化，
we focus on all of us as what we call bystanders,
我们注重在于我们就好比称之为旁观者，
and a bystander is defined as anybody who is not
在这旁观者的意思是任何人在任何情况下，
a perpetrator or a victim in a given situation,
如果不属于施虐者或被虐者，
so in other words friends, teammates, colleagues,
换句话说就是朋友，队友，同事，
coworkers, family members, those of us
一起工作的，家庭成员，
who are not directly involved in a dyad of abuse,
甚至是不间接有关系的人们，
but we are embedded in social, family, work, school,
但是我们在社交，家庭，工作，学校
and other peer culture relationships with people
和其他同辈传统关系中与受虐者
who might be in that situation. What do we do?
都是有所关联的。我们能做什么？
How do we speak up? How do we challenge our friends?
我们该说什么？我们如何挑战我们的朋友？
How do we support our friends? But how do we not
我们如何支持我们的朋友？我们如何能够
remain silent in the face of abuse?
在暴力面前不保持沉默？
Now, when it comes to men and male culture,
现在，当我们面对男性的传统，
the goal is to get men who are not abusive
我们的目的是不暴力男人也要去
to challenge men who are.
挑战那些施虐的男人。
And when I say abusive, I don't mean just
还有当我说暴力倾向，
men who are beating women.
我不是只说打女人的男人。
We're not just saying a man whose friend
我们不是只说一个男人的朋友
is abusing his girlfriend needs to stop the guy
正在对他女友施暴然后他需
at the moment of attack.
阻止他朋友的施暴行为。
That's a naive way of creating a social change.
这是很幼稚的改变社会的方法。
It's along a continuum, we're trying to get men
这是个长远的过程，
to interrupt each other.
我们在尝试让男人们互相影响。
So, for example, if you're a guy and you're in a group of guys
所以，比方说，如果你是个男人然后和一班男人在
playing poker, talking, hanging out, no women present,
玩扑克牌，谈天，逛街，没有女人在，
and another guy says something sexist or degrading
然后一些男人说一些性别歧视或贬低
or harassing about women,
或侮辱女人的话，
instead of laughing along or pretending you didn't hear it,
与其加入取笑或当做没听见，
we need men to say, "Hey, that's not funny.
我们须要男人说：“Hey，这一点都不好笑。
You know, that could be my sister you're talking about,
你知道吗，你可能是在说着我的姐姐妹妹，
and could you joke about something else?
你们可说些别的笑话吗？
Or could you talk about something else?
或你们可以说其它话题吗？
I don't appreciate that kind of talk."
我不赞成这类的话题。”
Just like if you're a white person and another white person
就好象你是白人和另外一个白人
makes a racist comment, you'd hope, I hope,
说个种族歧视的话题，你希望，我也希望，
that white people would interrupt that racist enactment
有个白人会打岔那个话题，
by a fellow white person.
是要来自个白人。
Just like with heterosexism, if you're a heterosexual person
就好象你和异性恋的人一起，如果你是异性恋的人，
and you yourself don't enact harassing or abusive behaviors
即使你不会对拥有不同性取向的人们
towards people of varying sexual orientations,
做出些骚扰或暴力行为，
if you don't say something in the face of other heterosexual people doing that,
如果你不在其他异性恋说些东西时即使打断，
then, in a sense, isn't your silence
那么，照理来说，你的沉默是不是
a form of consent and complicity?
代表着同意？
