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What do you think of my new furniture? This is my furniture.
你觉得我的新家具怎么样？这是我的家具
This is part of my ED Furniture line. It's now available nationwide and at Thomasville stores and other fine stores.
这是我ED家具的一部分。现在全国范围都能买到，汤美思家具店和其他精品店也都有
Check our website for information. I decided to get rid of my old furniture.
可以访问我们的网址了解更多。我决定把旧家具都处理掉
And I wanted to do it the right way and be a good neighbor so I did the responsible thing.
而且我想用正确的方式来处理，做一个好邻居，所以我做了该做的事
I put it out on the curb and put a free sign to, there's somebody right now.
我把它放在路边，上面贴了个免费标签，哦，现在就有人在看呢
Sir? Are you interested in that, sir? Eric Stonestreet.
先生？你对他们感兴趣吗，先生？艾里克·史东斯崔特
Hey. Eric. Hi, Eric. What are you doing?
嘿，艾里克。嗨，艾里克，你在干啥呢？
Well, I heard you were getting new furniture, so I was in the neighborhood and I just thought I'd stop by and check under the cushions.
嗯，我听说你买新家具了，我就在附近，所以我想着过来看看，顺便检查检查这些垫子
Why, for what? Duh, Ellen, a lot of rich people sit on this furniture like Diddy and Oprah, so I thought I'd look for some loose change.
为什么呀？额，艾伦，很多富人都坐过这个沙发，比如Diddy和欧普拉，所以说不定我能找到一些零钱呢
Well, I don't think you're gonna find anything- Holy moly!
嗯，我觉得你啥也找不到——啊，快看呀！
Score, this is like thousands of dollars. Well, you can't have that. Yes I can, finders keepers.
找到啦！看起来能有几千美元呢。额，那个你不能要。我可以，谁找到归谁
Now I'm gonna check in the big couch. Well you got lucky once but I don't think you're gonna find anything under there. My gosh-
现在我要再去看看这个大沙发。你已经走过一次运了，但你不会再在那儿发现什么的。天啊
It's a Shutterfly check for $50,000 made out to cash. You can't keep that. You can't have that.
这是Shutterfly50000美元的现金支票啊。那个你不能要。你不能要。
Yes I can. This is karma, Ellen. Remember all those times you scared me on your show?
我可以的。这是因果报应，艾伦，还记得你老在节目上吓唬我不？
Well, I've scared you maybe twice. Okay, no, nine times Ellen. Nine times. Pay back's a bitch, isn't it?
嗯，我可能吓了你两次。好吧，不是，九次，艾伦。九次。因果循环真讨厌，是吧
Where's the crosswalk button? Where are you going with that check?
人行横道按钮呢？你拿着那张支票要去哪儿呀？
I don't know but I'm looking for the crosswalk button right now.
不知道，不过我现在在找人行横道按钮
Okay. It's over here. It's on the other side of the pole. Great, here I found it.
好吧。在那儿。它在那个杆子的另一面。好，我找到了
Yeah, the bit is over now. All right, so I am gonna scare him even more now. No you're not.
好吧，结束了。好，现在我要更狠地吓吓他。不，你不会的
Yes I will. No you will not. Yes I will, are you gonna cross with that big check? Yes I will. Okay.
我会的。不，你不会。我会的。你要拿着那个大支票过马路吗？是的。好吧
Let me know when you can cross, so I. It's, wait, you can't just. I'm breaking the law. That's jaywalking.
你能过的时候告诉我一声，方便我。等一下，你不能。我违反交通规则了。那是乱穿马路
Arrest me, I'll bail myself out with my $50,000. There he goes.
来抓我呀，我用这50000美元给自己保释。他走了
