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I never really thought about why I went to such efforts to mute my achievements from such a young age.
我从没真正想过，为什么我在这么年轻时，就会如此努力地隐藏自己的成就。
Then, about ten years after I graduated from business school,
从哈佛商学院毕业约10年后，
I was seated at dinner next to Deborah Gruenfeld, a professor of leadership and organizational behavior at Stanford,
我在一次晚宴上遇到了斯坦福大学研究领导力和组织行为的教授德波拉·格林费尔德，
and our friendly small talk quickly turned into an intense discussion.
我们由愉快的小声交谈很快演变成了热烈的讨论。
Having studied this issue, Professor Gruenfeld was able to explain the price women pay for success.
基于多年的研究，格林费尔德教授非常理解女性为成功付出代价的原因。
"Our entrenched cultural ideas associate men with leadership qualities and women with nurturing qualities and put women in a double bind," she said.
“我们根深蒂固的文化传统，将男性与领袖特质相关联，将女性与抚育特质相关联，并且让女性处于一个两难的境地。”她说，
"We believe not only that women are nurturing, but that they should be nurturing above all else.
“我们不仅相信女性充当的是抚育者的角色，还相信这是她们首要的角色。
When a woman does anything that signals she might not be nice first and foremost, it creates a negative impression and makes us uncomfortable."
当一个女人做了某些事情显示出她最突出的特质不是亲和力，就会给人带来负面印象，让其他人感觉不舒服。
If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough.
如果一个女人非常能干，她看上去就不够亲切；
If a woman seems really nice, she is considered more nice than competent.
如果一个女人看上去很亲切，那她就会被认为不够能干。
Since people want to hire and promote those who are both competent and nice, this creates a huge stumbling block for women.
由于人们想雇用和提拔那些既能干又有亲和力的人，这就构成了女性的一大障碍。
Acting in stereotypically feminine ways makes it difficult to reach for the same opportunities as men,
表现得“女性化”让女性很难像男性那样获得机会，
but defying expectations and reaching for those opportunities leads to being judged as undeserving and selfish.
但不顾社会期待去争取机会又会被认为不配获得机会，甚至被判定是一种自私的行为。
