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Nothing has changed since high school; intelligence and success are not clear paths to popularity at any age.
自打我读高中以后，一切都没有改变，智慧和成功对于任何年龄的女人来说都不是受人欢迎的主要因素。
This complicates everything, because at the same time that women need to sit at the table and own their success, doing so causes them to be liked less.
这让一切都复杂化了，因为在倡导女性坐到桌前，拥有自己成功的同时，她们也变得不讨人喜欢了。
Most people, myself included, really want to be liked—and not just because it feels good.
大多数人，包括我自己，都真的希望被人喜欢，不仅仅是因为这样会带来好心情；
Being liked is also a key factor in both professional and personal success.
赢得人们的喜欢也是成功的一个关键因素，不管是在职场中还是个人发展上。
A willingness to make an introduction or advocate for or promote someone depends upon having positive feelings about that person.
领导者想要介绍或推荐某位女性，常常取决于其他人对她的正面评价：
We need to believe in her ability to do the job and get along with everyone while doing it.
我们需要信任她的工作能力，也要相信她能很好地与他人共事。
That's why, instinctively, many of us feel pressure to mute our accomplishments.
那就是为什么我们中的许多人都会感到很有压力，从而本能地隐瞒自己成绩的原因。
In October 2011, Jocelyn Goldfein, one of the engineering directors at Facebook,
2011年10月，脸谱网的工程师主管之一乔斯琳·戈德费恩
held a meeting with our female engineers where she encouraged them to share the progress they had made on the products they were building.
召集公司的女性工程师开会，鼓励她们彼此分享在产品构建上取得的进展。
Silence. No one wanted to toot her own horn.
会场鸦雀无声，没一个人想自吹自擂。
Who would want to speak up when self-promoting women are disliked?
当那些张扬地表现自我的女性不受欢迎时，谁还会站起来发言呢？
Jocelyn switched her approach.
乔斯琳换了种方式，
Instead of asking the women to talk about themselves, she asked them to tell one another's stories.
她不再让女工程师们谈自己，而是请她们讲彼此的故事，
The exercise became communal, which put everyone at ease.
共同参与，于是大家才都松了口气。
