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Let's get some news. Guys, across the country last night there were a bunch of primary elections for Congress,
来听听新闻，昨晚全国各地举行了多场国会初选，
and President Trump said he was pulling for Colton Underwood, David Ravitz, and Chris Randone.
小特称他支持科尔顿·安德伍德，戴维·拉维兹以及克里斯·兰登。
And then his staff was like, Sir, those are contestants on Bachelor in Paradise. I'm so rooting for them, they're great.
他的员工们称，先生这些是《天国的男子汉》竞赛者，我支持他们，他们太棒了。
I saw that there was a very close special election in Ohio. And before the results were final,
听说俄亥俄举行了特殊选举，就在公布结果之前，
Trump sent a tweet congratulating the Republican for winning. When people called him out.
小特在推特上祝贺共和党获胜，当人们对他大嚷大叫时，
Trump said, Sorry, for years I have struggled with premature congratulations.
小特说对不起，这么多年我一直在改正提早祝贺的毛病。
Yes, yes. I heard that Donald Trump, Jr. called into a radio show the other day.
没错，听说小特朗普参加广播秀节目。
But when they asked about his Trump Tower meeting with the Russians, his phone suddenly had technical difficulties.
当被问及在特朗普大厦与俄罗斯的会晤时，他的电话突然遇到了技术问题。
Or as Vladimir Putin put it, You're welcome.
就如普京说的，不用客气。
I take the phone. Speaking of Russia, I saw that a list of topics that Putin wanted to discuss with President Trump last month
我接个电话，说到俄罗斯，听说普京希望与小特谈论的话题内容泄露了，
in Helsinki was just leaked. And I don't think that they were on the same page going into that meeting.
二人上个月在赫尔辛基会晤，我不认为他们会晤时处于同一轨道。
Let me show you what I mean. First, Putin wanted to talk about the advantages of disarmament,
来看看什么意思，普京希望谈论裁军的好处，
while Trump wanted to talk about the advantages of learning what disarmament means.
而小特希望谈论了解裁军含义而带来的好处。
Next, Putin wanted to talk about maintaining a sense of cooperation as opposed to trading petty bargaining chips,
下面是，普京希望谈论保持合作关系，而不是为薯片讨价还价。
while Trump wanted to talk about chips. What's your favorite?
而小特希望谈论薯片，你喜欢什么味的？
And finally, Putin wanted to talk about strengthening our ties, while Trump wanted to talk about lengthening our ties. Yeah, he was very...
最后，普京希望谈论加强两国关系，而小特希望谈论拉长两国关系，他真的是...
Listen to this, guys. The Trump Administration just announced more tariffs on Chinese goods like tractors,
来听听这个，特朗普政府宣布对中国产品征收关税，比如拖拉机，
iron, and lubricating oils. In response, Americans said, Please don't say Trump and lubricating oils in the same sentence.
铁，润滑油，而美国人却说，请不要将小特和润滑油放在一个句子里。
I saw that Trump has been criticizing the way California has handled their recent wildfires.
听说小特一直在斥责加州在处理大火问题上的方式。
And now one of his tweets about wildfires from 2015 has actually resurfaced. Take a look at this.
而小特在2015年推特中的大火内容浮出水面，来看看。
It says who is paying for that tedious Smokey Bear commercial that is on all the time, enough already.
称是谁在支付斯莫基熊广告，老是出现也是够了。
He tweeted at Smokey the Bear, yeah. Well, it didn't stop there. Then he tweeted
他在推特中提到了斯莫基熊，没错，这还没完，他接着说，
why does the Kool Aid Man keep busting through walls. I love Kool-Aid and I love walls, get along！#NobelPeacePrize.
为什么酷爱果男一直冲破围墙，我喜欢酷爱果，我也喜欢墙，你们一定要友好哦，#诺贝尔和平奖。
He loves both. Oh, yeah! Kool-Aid and walls. Then he tweeted,
他两个都喜欢，没错，酷爱果和围墙，之后他推特到，
Why does Mr. Peanut think he's so elite. I am way richer and way nuttier. #Nutjob.
为什么花生先生说自己是精英，我比他有钱多了，而且还疯狂，#坚果工作。
And finally, he tweeted which Navy ship is Cap'n Crunch serving on? I called the Pentagon and nobody knew. #FakeCruise.
最后他讲道，嗄咂船长在哪艘海军服役？我给五角大楼打电话，但没人知道，#假巡航。
He's pretty worked up right now. Here's a weird story. There is a restaurant here in New York that serves a smoked watermelon
他现在很激动，下面这个故事很奇怪，纽约有一家餐馆售卖熏西瓜，
that looks just like a ham. Check it out. Yeah. It's perfect for all those times you're biting into a juicy ham and think,
看上去很像火腿，来看看，每当你咬上一口多汁的火腿，你都会想，
just wish this were a hot, watery fruit. I just wish.
真希望它是一个多汁，热乎乎的水果，我希望。
And finally, I saw that the University of Delaware was just named America's number one party school.
最后，特拉华大学被名为全美第一派对大学。
While America's worst party school is, once again, homeschool. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!
而全美最差派对大学还是在家教育，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
