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The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability.
他们还有另外一个共同之处，那就是，他们全然接受脆弱。
They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.
他们相信，让他们变得脆弱的东西，也让他们变得美丽。
They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating --
他们不认为脆弱，是寻求舒适，也不认为脆弱是钻心的疼痛--
as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing.
正如我之前在关于耻辱的采访中听到的。
They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first...
他们只是简单地认为脆弱是必须的。他们会谈到愿意说出“我爱你”，
the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees...
愿意做些没有保证的事情，
the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram.
在做完乳房X光检查之后，愿意等待医生的电话。
They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.
他们愿意为情感投资，无论有没有结果。他们觉得这些都是最根本的。
I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job --
我当时认为那是背叛。我无法相信，我尽然对科研宣誓效忠--
you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict.
研究的定义是，控制（变量）然后预测，去研究现象，为了一个明确的目标，去控制并预测。
And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting.
而我现在的使命，即控制并预测，却给出了这样一个结果：要想与脆弱共存，就得停止控制，停止预测。
This led to a little breakdown-- which actually looked more like this. And it did.
于是我崩溃了--其实更像是这样。它确实是。
It led to... I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening.
我称它为崩溃，我的心理医生称它为灵魂的觉醒。
A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you, it was a breakdown.
灵魂的觉醒当然比精神崩溃要好听很多，但我跟你说那的确是精神崩溃。
And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist. Let me tell you something:
然后我不得不暂且把数据放一边，去求助心理医生。让我告诉你：
you know who you are when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody.
你知道你是谁，当你打电话跟你朋友说：“我觉得我需要跟人谈谈。
Do you have any recommendations?" Because about five of my friends were like, "Wooo, I wouldn't want to be your therapist."
你有什么好的建议吗？”因为我大约有五个朋友这么回答：“喔。我可不想当你的心理医生。”
I was like, "What does that mean?" And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know. Don't bring your measuring stick."
我说：“这是什么意思？”他们说：“我只是想说，别带上你的标尺来见我。”我说：“行。”
