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I was like, "Okay." So I found a therapist. My first meeting with her, Diana -- I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down.
就这样我找到了一个心理医生。我跟她，戴安娜的第一次见面--我带去了一份表单，上面都是那些全身心投入生活的人的生活方式，然后我坐下了。
And she said, "How are you?" And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay."
她说：“你好吗？”我说：“我很好。还不赖。”
She said, "What's going on?" And this is a therapist who sees therapists, because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good.
她说：“发生了什么事？”这是一个治疗心理医生的心理医生，我们不得不去看这些心理医生，因为他们的废话测量仪很准（知道你什么时候在说真心话）。
And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling." And she said, "What's the struggle?" And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue.
所以我说：“事情是这样的。我很纠结。”她说：“你纠结什么？”我说：”嗯，我跟脆弱过不去。
And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness,
而且我知道脆弱是耻辱和恐惧的根源，是我们为自我价值而挣扎的根源，
but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.
但它同时又是欢乐，创造性，归属感，爱的源泉。
And I think I have a problem, and I need some help." And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit."
所以我觉得我有问题，我需要帮助。”我补充道：“但是，这跟家庭无关，跟童年无关。”
"I just need some strategies." Thank you. So she goes like this.
“我只需要一些策略。”谢谢。戴安娜的反应是这样的。
And then I said, "It's bad, right?" And she said, "It's neither good nor bad."
我接着说：“这很糟糕，对么？”她说：“这不算好，也不算坏。”
"It just is what it is." And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."
“它本身就是这样。”我说：“哦，我的天，要悲剧了。”
And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year.
果然发生了，但又没有发生。大概有一年的时间。
And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it.
你知道的，有些人，当他们发现脆弱和温柔很重要的时候，他们放下所有戒备，欣然接受。
A: that's not me, and B: I don't even hang out with people like that.
（我要声明）一，这不是我，二，我朋友里面也没有这样的人。
For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.
对我来说，那是长达一年的斗争。是场激烈的混战。脆弱打我一拳，我又还击它一拳。最后我输了，但我或许赢回了我的生活。
