1.The only thing I ever got off my old man was a birthday card when I was ten. He'd gone off when I was three and left me and mam and my sister to fend for ourselves. Mam never talks about him but my sister remembers him. 'What was dad like?' I ask. She looks at me through dark, sleepy eyes, pushes her hair back from her eyes. 'Whu?' 'I said, what was dad like?' She smiles at me, and I suss that I should ask her later when she's straight. Anyhow, the only thing I ever got from him was a birthday card when I was ten. It said Happy Birthday Mickey! And then there was a verse inside the card that went:
我从我老爸那得到的唯一一件东西是我十岁时的一张生日贺卡。他在我三岁时就离家出走了，留下妈妈、姐姐和我三个人相依为命。妈妈从不谈论他，但姐姐还对他有印象。“爸爸是个什么样的人？”我问。她用她那双忧郁的、睡眼惺忪的眼睛看着我，然后把挡在眼前的头发梳向后面。“谁？” “我是说，爸爸是个什么样的人？”她对我笑了笑，我意识到我应该等到她头脑清醒时再问她这个问题。总之，我从他那得到的唯一一件东西就是我十岁时的一张生日贺卡。贺卡上写着：米基，生日快乐！贺卡里面还附着一首小诗：
Now you're ten, and how you've grown
今天你十岁了，已是个大孩子了
It really won't be long
真的用不了太久
'Til you're a man, and fully grown
你就会长成一个成熟的男子汉
With arms both big and strong.
臂膀会更加宽大，更加强壮。
2. And on the front of the card was a picture, a cartoon, of a little boy driving a tractor. But I mean, how would he know I'd grown? To be honest, I was surprised he knew where I was, we moved so often. But the killer was, at the bottom of the card, below the rhyme, he'd added:
贺卡的正面是一张图片——卡通图片，上面画着一个小男孩正驾驶着一辆拖拉机。但我想说的是，他怎么会知道我长大了？说实话，我很惊讶他居然知道我住在哪里，因为我们经常搬家。但，最厉害的是，他还在贺卡底部，那首小诗下面加上了这么一句话：
Remember, no one's got your back
记住，没人会为你撑腰。
XX. Dad. 爱你的爸爸
3. I'd studied this card on more than one occasion, trying to work out some depth to what he was telling me. 'Laura, what was dad like?' Three hours later and she was up. The dutiful daughter. She looked up a little, thought about my question for a second or two. Then she said, 'I love him. Still.' 'Well I hate him. What was he like, though?' And she said, 'Stern.' 'Stern, huh?' 'I don't mean strict; more like serious. Like you, a bit, but smarter, taller and better looking.' Then she laughed, 'Dry the dishes,' she said.
我研究过这张贺卡不止一次，试图彻底弄清楚他想告诉我什么。“劳拉，爸爸是个什么样的人？”三小时后，她起来了，恢复了那个懂事的女儿的形象。她稍稍抬起头来，用一两秒钟时间思考了一下这个问题。然后，她说：“我很爱他，现在依旧很爱他。”“但，我恨他。不过，他是个什么样的人呢？”她回答说：“有些严厉。”“严厉，是吧？”“我的意思不是严格，更确切地说是‘严肃’。跟你有点儿像，但比你更聪明、更高大、更帅。”此时，她大笑了起来，然后对我说：“快把盘子擦干吧。”
4.It's funny, I learn a lot from my sister, mainly don't do drugs, which I should have written in capital letters instead of italics, but never mind, the thing is, when she's not high, she's the core of our family, the strength, believe it or not. Then there's me, fifteen, bright, got a future, they tell me, though I haven't and I'll tell you about that later, and then there's my mam, honest, and working, and sensible (though not in her choice of boyfriends or anything). And then there's Laura. Nineteen, and a junkie, but she holds the family together.
很有趣的是，我从姐姐身上学到了很多东西——主要是不要吸毒。这件事我应该更加大书特书才对，但没关系，关键是，她不吸毒时，她就是我们家的主心骨，这是实力使然，信不信由你。然后说说我自己——我今年十五岁，聪明，未来可期，这是他们告诉我的，尽管我之前没提到，但我稍后会好好说说这件事。再说说我妈妈——她为人诚实，从事普通的工作，有些敏感（尽管她不会主动选择男朋友或任何其他东西）。最后再说说劳拉——她今年十九岁，是个瘾君子，但她把全家人团结在了一起。
5. So maybe I should stop describing my life, start showing what happens instead, but I'll get to that bit in a bit, so to speak. Ok, so mam. My mother. She is thirty seven years old and she is a flake. A total dribble. They should do a reality TV show on my mam – "How Not To …""How Not To bring up your children." "How Not To save for the future." "How Not To get a good job." "How Not To attract a nice boyfriend."
所以，也许我应该闭口不谈我的生活状况，只说说具体发生的事情，但我会一点儿一点儿切入主题的。好吧，就是这个意思。那我就先从妈妈说起。她今年三十七岁，是个古怪的人，一个十足的废物。电视台应该邀请我妈妈去参加真人秀节目，节目的名字就叫“如何做到不……” “如何做到不抚养你的孩子们的”、“如何做到不为未来储蓄的”、“如何做到找不到一份好工作的”、“如何做到吸引不到一个好男友的”。

6.She did once. Attract a nice boyfriend, that is. And I've read all the women's magazines she buys and I knew from the start it wasn't going to last. From the moment she said to me, 'He's kind, thoughtful, good looking. He's got a good job, Pete, and a lovely car' (a bloody good car, since you ask. You didn't? But you would have. Which also means money. Cool. German. Cool. And much more).
不过，她也做到过一次——吸引到了一个好男友，但仅此而已。我读过她购买的所有女性杂志，而且从一开始我就知道他们的关系不会持久——从她对我说了以下这些话的那一刻起：“他善良、体贴、好看。他名字叫皮特，有一份好工作，还有一辆很好的汽车”（一辆相当不错的小娇车，因为你问我了。什么，你没问？但你应该问的。这还意味着他很有钱——酷毙了；是个德国人——酷毙了；还有很多很多优点）。
7.But anyway, as she's telling me all this I'm thinking, Yeah, but mam, you're going to jack Pete in and tell me 'there was no spark' which translates as, you think that love equals pain, and affection means distress and you think that being nice is the equivalent of being invisible. Which it kind of is. So just be honest. Please. So, as predicted, Pete went the journey. And in moved Marc. Fifteen years younger than mam. What a tosspot. What a racket.
但无论如何，当她告诉我所有这一切时，我想的却是：都挺好的，但是妈妈，你会放弃皮特，然后告诉我“你们没有产生火花”——这句话可以翻译为：你认为爱等于痛苦，而感情就意味着悲痛，同时你还认为善待他人相当于失去自我。你们的关系究竟是哪种情况？所以请诚实一点儿。拜托了。于是，正如我所料，后来皮特离开了。马克搬了进来。他是个比妈妈年轻15岁的家伙，一个过着花天酒地生活的醉汉。
8.It was embarrassing. It was the crime that no parent should inflict upon their children! I was twelve, which made Laura sixteen; she'd just failed her exams and was working. Very content. Regular money, dreaming about her own flat. Boyfriend. And when Marc made a play for Laura one afternoon, she screamed the place down and mam came dashing downstairs and slapped Laura to shut her up and then slapped her again when she heard what she was accusing Marc of doing.
这很令人尴尬。父母不应该把这样的罪行强加到他们的孩子身上！当时我十二岁，劳拉十六岁，而且她刚刚在考试中失败，并且刚刚开始工作。她对此非常满意。有了固定的收入，她开始梦想着拥有自己的公寓，还有男朋友。一天下午，当马克调戏劳拉时，她大声地尖叫了起来，妈妈冲到楼下，扇了劳拉一巴掌，让她住口，然后当她听到劳拉指控马克的行径时，又扇了她一巴掌。
9.I'm not tough, really, I'm not. And I'm not pretending to be not tough so you'll think that really I secretly am tough either. I'm just not. So when mam took his side against Laura I just went and sat on the front step and listened to them row. I sat on the step of our front door watching the seagulls wheel and fly and sail on the wind. I wished I could do that. I'm digressing here, but I can't remember what else happened, except I know how it ended. The next morning I waited until Marc went out and then I used mam's phone to call the police and grass Marc for the twenty grams of cocaine he had stashed under the stairs.
我不是个强硬的人，真的，我不是。而且，我也不会假装不强硬，所以你会认为我背地里真的也是很强硬的。但我不是那样的人。所以，当妈妈站在劳拉的对立面时，我只是走开，坐在门前的台阶上，然后听着他们争吵。我坐在我家前门的台阶上，看着海鸥在风中盘旋、飞翔、展翅飞向远方。我希望我也能像它们那样自由地在空中飞来飞去。说这些有点儿跑题了，但我不记得除此之外还发生了什么，只记得那件事是如何结束的。第二天早上，我一直等到马克出门后，才用妈妈的电话报了警，把马克在楼梯下藏了20克可卡因的秘密告诉给了警察。
10.Bingo. Job done. Like I say, I'm not tough. But I don't need to be when there's five policemen and a German Shepherd dog breaking down the door and dragging Marc screaming down the path and into a van.
成功了。任务完成了。就像我说的，我并不强硬。但是，当有五名警察和一条德国牧羊犬破门而入，然后拖着马克在门前的小路上尖叫着进入一辆警车时，我并不需要强硬。
11.Anyhow, this card I got from my dad. It said, remember, no one's got your back, like this was some piece of information I'd known but had forgotten, or like I already had asked someone to get my back and then discovered they hadn't got it, or something. I mean, come on dad, I don't know who you are, or where you are or what you do or anything, but come on, be a dad for a minute. For as long as it takes not to write that sentence. I was ten years old for Chrissake.
无论如何，这张贺卡是我从爸爸那里得到的。它上面写着：记住，没人会为你撑腰。这就像是一条我早已知晓却已经忘记的信息，或者就像我已经要求某人为我撑腰，后来却发现这个人根本做不到，等等等等，诸如此类。我想说的是：拜托您了老爸，我不知道您是谁，不知道您在哪里，不知道您是做什么的，我对您可以说是一无所知。但拜托您了，能不能尽哪怕一分钟做父亲的职责。只要不在贺卡上写那句话就行。看在基督的份上，当时我已经十岁了。
12.Write I miss you or We'll meet up when you're older or Stick in at school. In fact, here's an idea. Don't send me a card. Go on. Unsend it. But the funny thing is, daft card with a stupid picture and a deranged verse it might have been. But he was right. No one's got your back.
您可以写：我想念你；或者，当你再大些时，我们会见面；或者，坚持学业。事实上，我的想法是：干脆别寄给我贺卡。就这样。别寄贺卡给我。但有趣的是，我却收到了上面带着愚蠢的图片和一首疯狂的小诗的愚蠢的生日贺卡。但他是对的——没有人会为你撑腰。