Now the biggest lie was money plus recognition is equal to happiness, is equal to success.
现在最大的谎言是金钱加认可等于幸福,等于成功。
So, let me begin by mentioning that I come from a very middle-class family.
因此,我先提一下我来自一个非常普通的家庭。
And when I was growing up, money was a big, big, big differentiator in my life.
在我成长的过程中,金钱是我生活中一个很大很大的不同因素。
Also, in the three generations of my family that I know of, that are documented, nobody knew what fame felt like.
此外,在我的家族三代中,据我所知,没有人知道出名是什么感觉。
So, basically, both money and recognition were missing when I started out.
因此,基本上,当我开始成长的时候,对金钱和认可度都是缺失的。
So, I already started out as a failure, let me be very precise.
所以,非常准确地说,我一开始就是一个失败者。
My family told me that I had to become an engineer, medicals were booked for my sisters.
我的家人告诉我,我必须成为一名工程师,我的姐妹们被提前预订了学医。
So, once I'm an engineer, then I can, you know, try civil services examination and then probably, yeah, that would be like opening the doors for all kinds of happiness and I'll be forever successful, I'll be forever happy.
所以,一旦我成为一名工程师,我就可以尝试公务员考试,然后很可能就像打开了通往各种幸福的大门,我将永远成功,我将永远幸福。
This is the condition that I experienced when I was growing up.
这是我在成长过程中经历的情况。
Alright, fair enough, good deal.
好吧,很公平,很不错的“买卖”。
So, I became very good in studies, did fairly well in my 10th board exams, and then off I went to Delhi for my +2, got myself enrolled in a nice school and Vidya Mandir and FIIT JEE and half a dozen of another coaching institutes.
所以,我的学习变得非常好,在我的第10次资格考试中取得了相当好的成绩,然后为了在德里参加我的+2考试,我进入了一所不错的学校,Vidya Mandir和FIIT JEE以及其他六家培训机构。
And I used to share my room with three other similar aspirants.
我曾经和其他三个志同道合的人同住一个房间。
What it meant was every day after finishing my assignments, school assignments, and preparing for my engineering entrance exam, I had to wash my clothes and I had to cook food for myself.
这意味着每天在完成作业、学校作业和准备工程入学考试后,我必须自己洗衣服,自己做饭。
But I wasn't complaining.
但我不是在抱怨。
Well, it was worth it because after all, I was for the very first time in my life, I was so close to become successful, for the first time in my life.
嗯,这是值得的,因为毕竟这是我生命中的第一次,如此接近成功,我生命中的第一次。
So yeah, finally I slopped, I got selected for several engineering colleges and I decided to take admission in Delhi College of Engineering, which is...DC.
我被几所工程学院选中,我最终选择了德里工程学院,也就是DC。
Now known as DTU, thank you.
现在被称为DTU,谢谢你。
Were you my senior or junior?
你们是我的前辈还是后辈?
So, yeah, so there was a celebration like this in my family too.
我们家也有这样的庆祝活动。
I could finally stop for a while and breathe, you know.
你知道,我终于可以停下来喘口气了。
I was telling myself that, you know what, now you have made it.
我告诉自己,你知道吗,现在你成功了。
You should be happy because you're supposed to be happy, but it wasn't working that much.
你应该快乐,因为你被期望快乐,但它并没有起到那么大的作用。
Something was missing, there was a void that I could feel.
有些东西不见了,我能感觉到一种空虚。
So, I thought maybe something bigger was required.
所以,我想也许需要一些更大的东西。