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But when I would have conversations with other people about my obsession, especially people outside of true crime fandom, the same questions would emerge.
但是，当我和别人聊起我的兴趣时，尤其是真实犯罪爱好者圈外的人，都会出现同一个问题。
Is this OK? Doesn't this feel icky?
这能行吗？不难受吗？
Are they laughing about murders?
他们是在开凶案的玩笑吗？
I would shrug off those criticisms or instead point them towards what I thought of as the good stuff: to the creators and storytellers who were solving cases, finding new leads, drawing attention to long-cold cases and injustices.
对于这些质疑，我会置之不理，或者把我眼中的好事放在他们眼前：给他们看这些创作者、故事作者，这些人在解决案件、寻找新线索、呼吁对悬案和不公正现象的关注。
That's the good stuff.
这就是好事。
But when I would let myself look at the ugly side of true crime, it was really, really ugly.
但当我着眼于真实犯罪的丑恶面时，真是相当、相当丑恶。
In 2018, I started interviewing storytellers, journalists, advocates who were involved in true crime storytelling.
2018 年，我开始采访故事作者、记者、倡议者，他们参与讲述了真实犯罪的故事。
I wanted to know how they personally navigated this dichotomy.
我想知道他们从个人角度是如何处理这种分歧的。
I asked them to define true crime and to talk about its reputation.
我让他们定义真实犯罪，谈一谈世人是如何看待它们的。
Obviously, they would gush about the good stuff, but other words kept coming up.
显然他们会滔滔不绝地谈论好的一面，但也颇有微词。
Exploitative, salacious, prurient, murder porn.
剥削、色情、淫荡、凶杀色情片。
And just like the famous quote about traditional pornography, all of my interviewees told me that while they couldn't define bad true crime, they all knew it when they saw it.
如同对传统黄片的众口一词，所有受访者都告诉我，虽然他们无法定义蹩脚的真实犯罪，但他们只要看到就都知道了。
So today I am here to offer those of you who, like me, might be a little obsessed, four questions to ask yourself about the real-world implications of your true crime consumption.
今天我来到这里，想给我的同道中人，那些有点上头的爱好者，送上四个问题，请你们问问自己你们在欣赏真实犯罪的同时它们又有什么现实意义。
I've based these questions from talking to people involved in the storytelling, but also listening to people who have been affected by their tragic connections to these stories.
这些问题基于我与故事叙述者的谈话，也基于聆听那些不幸受到这些故事影响的受害者的声音。
It is my hope that by becoming more mindful consumers of true crime media, we can direct our attention, our resources, our dollars towards the people doing the good work.
我希望如果我们可以成为对真实犯罪作品更上心的观众，我们就可以把关注、资源、金钱投在做好事的人身上。
So question number one, ask yourself: "Why am I interested in this?"
第一个问题，问问自己：“我为什么会对这个感兴趣？”
There's no right answer to this question.
这个问题没有正确答案。
Multiple studies have shown that true crime fans, particularly women, are drawn to the sense of community.
许多研究表明真实犯罪的爱好者，尤其是女性，都是被归属感所吸引的。
So many of us have been ourselves survivors or know other survivors and victims of assault, harassment, even murder.
我们中的很多人都是幸存者，或认识其他遭受过袭击、骚扰、甚至是谋杀的幸存者和受害者。
Hearing the stories of others can be healing.
聆听他人的故事很治愈。
We can feel empowered to fight back and feel less alone.
我们有了反击的力量，不再如此孤单。
On the other hand, sometimes interest in a true crime story is driven by horror or titillation or morbid curiosity.
另一个方面，对真实犯罪的兴趣有时是由恐惧、刺激或者病态的好奇心驱使的。
While those feelings are natural and they're valid, if that's the only reason that you're interested in a story, it might be time to find something new.
虽然这些感觉是正常的，也是合理的，但如果这只是你对某个故事感兴趣的唯一原因，那你是时候去找点别的兴趣了。
