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The assumption that people need to be coupled or grouped goes beyond restaurants, said Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist in Summerland, Calif., and the author of the 2023 book “Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life.”
加州萨默兰的社会心理学家贝拉·德保罗表示，在餐厅以外的地方，人们也认为需要两人或多人出行，她在2023年出版了《单身灵魂：单身生活的力量、自由与心灵充盈之乐》。
Scientists have long examined the negative impacts of solitude, but studies on how it can be a peaceful, self-esteem-building experience are rarer, she said.
她表示，科学家们长期研究独处的负面影响，但关于独处如何成为一种平静、增强自尊的体验却少有研究。
The 2025 World Happiness Report, published last week by the University of Oxford’s Wellbeing Research Centre, suggests that solitary activities, including solo meals, can lead to depression and shorter life expectancies.
由牛津大学幸福研究中心在上周发布的《2025年世界幸福报告》指出，包括独自用餐在内的独处活动可能导致抑郁和寿命缩短。
Dr. DePaulo also pointed to a recent, highly circulated article in The Atlantic, “The Anti-Social Century,” which links practices like solo dining to reclusion and loneliness.
德保罗博士还提到了最近一篇广为流传的《大西洋月刊》的文章《反社交世纪》，该文将独自用餐等行为与隐居和孤独联系起来。
Dr. DePaulo finds that conclusion dubious.
德保罗博士认为这一结论值得怀疑。
“People who are lonely are going to stay home,” she said. “They are not going to go out to a restaurant. People who go out on their own are confident.”
“孤独的人会待在家里，”她说，“他们不会出门去餐厅吃饭。独自外出的人是很自信的。”
To her, this bias against lone diners feels distinctly American.
在她看来，这种对独自用餐者的偏见带有明显的美国特色。
Since the 1950s, she said, the United States has placed a high value on the nuclear family.
她说，自20世纪50年代以来，美国一直高度重视核心家庭。
“We are a nation that really romanticizes romantic coupling and marriage, and stigmatizing people who are single or do things alone is part of that,” she said.
“我们这个国家真的会把恋爱关系和婚姻浪漫化，污名化那些单身或独自做事的人正是这种观念的一部分。”她说。
She compared this with attitudes in countries like Japan, where it is common to see someone slurping ramen or enjoying an omakase solo.
她将这种情况与日本等国家的态度进行了对比，在日本，经常可以看到有人独自吃拉面或享用无菜单料理。
At a time when 46.4 percent of American adults are single, according to 2022 census data, and many couples are sleeping or even living separately, Dr. DePaulo said, why shouldn’t it be socially acceptable to dine alone?
46.4%的美国成年人都单身（根据2022年人口普查数据），许多伴侣分房睡甚至分居生活，在这种情况下，德保罗博士反问道：独自用餐为什么不能被社会接纳？
Several people interviewed said they felt more comfortable eating alone at a casual restaurant than at a high-end one.
几位受访者表示，在普通餐厅独自用餐比在高档餐厅让人感到更自在。
Others said it felt easier in big cities, which allow you to be more anonymous when you walk into a restaurant.
其他人则表示，在大城市独自用餐让人感觉更自在，因为走进餐厅时你感觉更隐身。
Identity markers like race and gender also play a role.
种族和性别等身份标识也起到一定作用。
Aaron Fountain, 33, an editor at the National Museum of African American History and Culture who lives in Silver Spring, Md., said he often gets poor treatment when he dines alone, whether it’s being asked to pay in advance at a sit-down restaurant or being ignored by bartenders.
33岁的亚伦·方丹住在马里兰州银泉市，是非裔美国人历史与文化国家博物馆的编辑，他说自己独自用餐时经常受到冷落，比如在非快餐类餐厅被要求先付钱，或者在吧台被吧台侍者无视。
He wondered if this is because he is Black, not because he is by himself.
他怀疑这是因为他是黑人，而不是因为他独自一人。
Paula Shepard, a fashion executive in Manhattan, said that as a woman eating alone, she has drawn unwanted attention from men, and some have mistaken her for an escort.
曼哈顿时尚行业高管葆拉·谢帕德表示，作为独自用餐的女性，她曾招致男性的冒昧关注，有些男性甚至误以为她是应召女郎。
But she is undeterred.
但她毫无畏惧。
She knows that others may see her seated by herself and make assumptions.
她知道，别人看到她独自坐着，可能就会产生各种猜测。
“But I can’t allow others to define who I am,” she said. “I dined alone on Valentine’s Day, for God’s sake.”
“但我不能让其他人来定义我是谁，”她说，“拜托，我在情人节那天都是一个人去餐厅的。”
