On this particular sunny afternoon, Mother and I sat quietly breathing in the scent of freshly mown grass. She was unusually solemn and took me by surprise when she asked me, "Who will you bring here after I'm gone?"
在这个阳光明媚的下午,母亲和我静静坐着,呼吸着新剪的草散发出的清香。她的神情异常严肃,出乎意料地问我道:“我死了以后,你会带谁来?”
I gave her one of my arched-eyebrow inquiries, then smiled. After a few moments, when she didn't return my smile, I began to wonder what made her ask such a disturbing question. Mother picked up a blade of grass and began to shred it with her fingernail. I'd become well acquainted with my mother's habits, and this particular one indicated she had something serious on her mind.
我皱起了眉头,狐疑地看了她一眼,然后微微笑了。过了一会儿,她还没有回以微笑,我开始纳闷她为什么会提出这样一个令人不安的问题。母亲捡起一片草叶,开始用指甲将它划成碎片。我非常了解母亲的各种习惯,这个动作表明她有心事。
For several minutes, we sat in silence gathering our thoughts. A couple of blue birds squawked nearby and an airplane flew overhead, but they didn't ease the awkward moment between us. Finally, I reached over and took my mother's hand in mine. "There's nothing you can't tell me, Mother," I said. "We will handle this together, like we always have."
有好几分钟的时间,我们静静地坐着,整理着自己的思绪。附近,几只蓝背樫鸟在嘎嘎叫着;头顶,一架飞机飞过,但这些并没有消除我们之间的尴尬。最后,我伸出手,握住了妈妈的手,“妈,什么事都可以跟我说的,”我说,“我们可以一起面对,就像以前一样。”
She looked into my face, and her eyes filled with tears that spilt down her cheeks ― cheeks that were alarmingly pale. Even before she said it, I knew what was coming. Mother was dying.
她凝视着我的脸,眼里噙着泪水,眼泪顺着脸颊流了下来,脸色苍白得吓人。她还没开口,我就知道了:母亲将不久于人世了。
I held her tightly while she told me that her heart condition was worsening and couldn't be repaired. I think I had known for quite a while but had not been willing to admit it to myself. She'd had several heart attacks and, a few years ago, even open-heart surgery. What I didn't know, and what she had kept from me, was that her condition wasn't improving. We talked about her options, which were few; we cried, held each other and wished for more time together.
我紧紧地抱着她,听她诉说:她的心脏病越来越严重了,已经无药可救了。我想这个情况我已经知道一段时间了,只是一直不愿面对。她的心脏病已经发作了好几次,几年前还做过心内直视手术。但有一点我一无所知,而且她也一直瞒着我,那就是她的情况毫无好转。我们讨论了一下她的治疗方案,其实也是寥寥无几。我们哭了,拥抱在一起,只愿能有更多的时间在一起。